First, I don't think anyone would ever side-eye this. If they do, they need their head examined. I know most loss moms find it too hard to use the things purchased for the angel baby. For a friend of mine who lost her baby at 6 days old and is now expecting again, she still hasn't gone into her daughter's nursery. She turned the guest bedroom into a nursery for this baby. She really *doesn't* have anything, because it's just too laden with tough memories. They've become something different than hand-me-downs from the older sibling.
However, I 100% agree with PPs that she does not need surprises, and before hosting, you need to make sure she's up to it. Think about it, she had a shower with the last pregnancy. A shower is going to bring up both good and bad memories for her because of that, and you need to make sure she's ready.