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11-01-2012 at 10:42 AM
LoveCoffee
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Joined on 11-01-2012
93 Points
LoveCoffee is not online. Last active: 01-03-2013, 3:11 PMNewbie

Friend Issue

I'm a May 2011 mom under another name just in case I haven't posted in a while..

 I'm putting this out to the internet/bump universe just to get it off my chest.

I have a friend who's LO is around 19 months (My LO is 17 months). In my gut and in my heart it is obvious there is something not right with this child.

I see my friend often and her child but she has said NOTHING to me. She tells me things that her LO does and I know they can't be true ( I witness it).

I have mutual friends on Facebook asking ME what is wrong with her LO and I can't answer because I don't even know. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist but from a guess I would say her LO is either slightly downs or something else. Whatever it is, it is slight, but it's obvious to me and others that he's not your average 19 month old.

It's becoming uncomfortable because I'm not sure if she's in denial, if she knows but is not saying anything to me or what. If I was the only one thinking this I would think I'm crazy but I have several (at least 5) mutual friends discuss it with me.

Of course I would NEVER say anything to her. I guess I just don't know how you can miss something like this. I know it's hard to swallow, but wouldn't you want the best for your child?  

Anyway thanks for listening. I feel real bad and not that I can help but I would be there for her if she needed me.  

 

 

 

 

 
11-01-2012 at 4:35 PM
T3hKay
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Joined on 04-19-2010
Colorado
43,712 Points
T3hKay is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 8:50 AMSilver

Casually you have never brought something up, do you feel like you would offend her if you did?

My god son is autistic? And my sister in-law and I had a converstation about her daughter possibly having a learning disability.


Tattooed Sailor Mouthed Mommy <3
Maddox born 6/8/11
TTC#2 BFP 11/7 MMC 12/23 D&C 12/26
BFP 02/04/2013 EDD: 10/12or18/13
SCH 03/01/2013
Placental Abruption 05/06/2013
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11-02-2012 at 3:01 AM
kelly321
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Joined on 09-30-2010
47,727 Points
kelly321 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 9:50 AMGold

Honestly, only you can judge what sort of relationship you have with your friend and whether it would be appropriate to say anything. I can think of 2 friends/relatives with whom I think I have a close and open enough relationship to bring up something that sensitive.

Does your friend take her LO to all their well-baby appointments? If so, then I think I would not say anything. How exactly do you envision the conversation going? "Excuse me, friend, but I think there's something wrong with your LO." I really just can't imagine it going well, and I don't think it's necessarily your place to tell her you think there's something wrong with her child. Maybe the things she says he can do are things he does at home where he feels comfortable, but not around strangers. 

If you really feel you have to say something, maybe you could do it in a casual conversation if something comes up that's not normal, like "Oh, have you mentioned to your pedi that he's not speaking yet? I know lots of kids start speaking later, but mine said that if LO hadn't started speaking by 18 months that we would run a few tests to rule out hearing problems or other issues." Then you're not being confrontational about it. I don't know, though. I honestly think it would be best to just let it be.



BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w3d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence BFP Chart 
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