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11-02-2012 at 2:02 PM
MBush4
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Help me, Baby Jesus....

I just got invited to another baby shower for a friend expecting her second. Here's the thing. She and I are pretty good friends and she's confided in me that she REALLY doesn't want the shower. But the people we go to church with love her (it's hard not to, I honestly don't know a nicer lady, but she is a bit of a push over) and want to throw a party for her (like they do for any other woman who has a kid in our congregation).

I know they mean well, but she feels so uncomfortable with the idea. She's asked them to specifically say "no gifts please" on the invitation (it's her second and she had a gender neutral shower last time) but while they put that on the invitation the group sent out a Facebook invite and said, "Even though she says no gifts, let's each put in $10 to get her ______." I don't really associate with these ladies outside of church and I'm honestly debating not going. Would I be a jerk if I didn't go? She's said she feels uncomfortable about the whole thing so I'm debating going and being moral support or not going and showing I agree with her. What would you do?
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11-02-2012 at 2:27 PM
82Sonia
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I'd go.  No sense in making her feel even worse when her good friends don't show up to her shower that may be in somewhat poor taste.
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11-02-2012 at 2:29 PM
1026pumpki...
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I would go as moral support for your friend.  And I would feel a lot better about bringing a gift in this case as opposed to the other 2nd baby shower you were invited too.
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11-02-2012 at 2:30 PM
hcw87
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82Sonia:
I'd go.  No sense in making her feel even worse when her good friends don't show up to her shower that may be in somewhat poor taste.

I agree with this. If you really want to please her you could opt out on buying a gift-since it sounds like she doesn't want people spending money on her by asking for no gifts. Instead you could give a nice card, or offer to babysit for free.  
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11-02-2012 at 2:51 PM
EastCoastB...
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I would go and I would NOT bring a gift.  She clearly doesn't want that, so I would go w/ HER desires and I'd be there as support.
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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11-02-2012 at 2:58 PM
Andindria
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I would opt to go. Even if you don't give anything you will still be showing her you care by giving her moral support.

As for the gift they would like to save up to buy for her, why not see if they will instead take the funds and donate it to a charity the Church supports in the babys name, instead of a gift for the baby? 
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11-02-2012 at 6:40 PM
MelissaRae...
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I would still go. If she requested no gifts, I wouldn't get her one.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. -Jeremiah 1:5
 
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11-02-2012 at 7:18 PM
holly1416
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hcw87:

82Sonia:
I'd go.  No sense in making her feel even worse when her good friends don't show up to her shower that may be in somewhat poor taste.

I agree with this. If you really want to please her you could opt out on buying a gift-since it sounds like she doesn't want people spending money on her by asking for no gifts. Instead you could give a nice card, or offer to babysit for free.  

 

Agreed x 2!!! Also, I just had to quote you because your DD is so cute!!!! Love that bow!
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11-03-2012 at 6:14 PM
rhubarb123
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Since you are her close friend you should go.  You have nothing to di with this church group...right?  So..you NOT going would have absolutely NO impact on them.  If they have a shower for every woman in the church who is expecting I think it is kind of odd for her to be the ONLY one to have an issue with it.  Send in your $10 and be done with it.  Sounds like they only want to get her something she could really use.

BTW...my old church also did this.  I was no longer going for my 2nd and 3rd though.
 
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