Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > 3rd Trimester

Sort:
11-05-2012 at 7:37 AM
jlk2424
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-27-2011
145 Posts
4,056 Points
jlk2424 is not online. Last active: 04-10-2013, 7:36 PMNewbie

My In-Laws are scaring me! (Slight vent)

So over the past week my MIL has made comments about how big I am and asked if I thought I was going to get much bigger, that I had a big belly etc.  I tried to shake it off bc she was never pregnant (they adopted my Husband as a baby), but this is 3 or 4 times in one week.  Then yesterday my FIL and I were talking when they were over and said I should consider a C-Section bc my husband was 11 pounds when he was born, and the baby measured 4 pound 5 oz at our 32 week scan and it looks like it is going to be a big baby.  I know I am going to have a large baby.  I was 3 weeks early and weighed 8 lb 2 oz and am 5 9 and have a large frame.  My husband is 6'2'' and weighs 275 +, and was 23 inches and 11 lb when born.  I know my child is not going to be small but geez asking me if I have consdiered a C-section bc the baby is going to be large is scaring me some.....sorry just needed to vent but now I am a bit worried about how large my child really is going to be....The little one has seemed to grow very quickly the past 2 weeks ( a growth spurt).  I am 34 weeks today!!!
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 7:54 AM
WVUPetunia
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-22-2006
738 Posts
11,504 Points
WVUPetunia is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 8:04 PMBronze

Mothers-in-law need to shut up.  Mine keeps telling me about her episiotomy and how my husband "ripped her clear to her rectum."  I'm suggesting to my doctor today that their office add a psychiatrist for crazed in-laws.

Anyway, don't worry about what she says.  Just talk to your doctor and see if maybe that helps your concerns.  My LO measured in the 74th percentile at 33 weeks (5 lbs., 10 oz.), but they aren't concerned about him being super huge.  Growth scans can be way off, too.  DH's cousin had a baby a few weeks ago, and her growth scan the week before had the baby at about 7 lbs.  Baby actually weighed not even 6.
Anniversary Lilypie First Birthday tickers  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:03 AM
danak4
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-04-2012
571 Posts
10,998 Points
danak4 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:58 AMBronze
Unless MIL is a Dr I wouldn't worry about her expert medical opinions.  If your OB isn't concerned you shouldn't be either. Your body is perfectly capable of delivering a big healthy baby and there are plenty of other women out there who have done the same! Try not to let it get to you. 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker photo b3a2368b-42b3-448d-9017-8ffa27a1c8af_zpsaf6faab0.jpg 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:06 AM
snowflake9...
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-09-2011
619 Posts
9,507 Points
snowflake91011 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 12:43 PMBronze
Tell your husband he needs to tell his mom to STFU and stop making comments about how "big" you are.

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:17 AM
lucy460
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-30-2009
4,958 Posts
5,150 Points
lucy460 is not online. Last active: 05-07-2013, 9:32 PMSilver

snowflake91011:
Tell your husband he needs to tell his mom to STFU and stop making comments about how "big" you are.

Basically, this.

Almost always, your body will make a baby that your body can birth. Just keep telling yourself that she hasn't birthed a child, so she has a very different perspective.

Mama to 2 late-term preemies (7/10 & 11/12) due to HELLP Syndrome. 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:46 AM
526SadieSa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-06-2009
Hope, RI
6,493 Posts
34,926 Points
526SadieSadie is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 2:30 PMGold
Argh.  Why do people think its ok to remind pregnant women of how big they are?!?  SO rude, so frustrating.
Anniversary  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:50 AM
jlk2424
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-27-2011
145 Posts
4,056 Points
jlk2424 is not online. Last active: 04-10-2013, 7:36 PMNewbie
Thanks ladies.  I don't even feel like I am THAT big.  People kept telling me that I was so small up until 32 weeks and now I have a big belly and a big baby!!!!  Ugghhh!!!  Can't win :-)
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:56 AM
burgergirl...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-24-2008
Colorado
481 Posts
10,290 Points
burgergirl13 is not online. Last active: 01-05-2013, 2:04 PMNewbie
I have a friend that is tiny, she is about 5 foot nothing and tiny frame and has vaginally given birth to two 12lb babies. Even if the baby is larger it doesnt mean that you will have to have a c-section.
2weeks_zps47aaf230 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:03 AM
sbevmc09
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-09-2008
Ohio
6,447 Posts
90,525 Points
sbevmc09 is online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 1:41 PMGold

Ignore the comments, they're obviously very uneducated so don't allow what they say to get into your head.

If you can't block it out then it's time for you (or even your H) to politely explain to them that what they're saying is inappropriate.  Positive thoughts only!

photo 40aebcba-1d2e-4e78-8251-3990c3268432_zps1c88178f.jpg   photo 64bf363d-3af0-4dcc-b880-c06326daa418_zps78d8d389.jpg
*My Blog*
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

photo 0cc607b9-4233-4842-8175-d093f8f92ca8_zps7cc00875.jpg
16/50 Read

my read shelf:
Stephanie's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:26 AM
TofuMama7
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-29-2010
2,771 Posts
20,886 Points
TofuMama7 is not online. Last active: 04-12-2013, 9:52 PMSilver

That's super rude of her. I wouldn't be concerned. If your doctor is concerned he/she will probably order a growth ultrasound. 

My stomach measured big with DS and I had one at 36 and 38 weeks to make sure his head and shoulders were an ok size - turned out he was just really long, DH and I are both tall, and his head and shoulders were fine and he came out.

Don't let them stress you, talk to your doctor if you're worried.

BabyFetus Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:34 AM
brooke&rya...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-03-2012
916 Posts
16,129 Points
brooke&ryan&baby is not online. Last active: 04-02-2013, 10:56 PMBronze
WVUPetunia:

Mothers-in-law need to shut up. 

Amen to this. Try to not let her comments (and FIL's) phase you. Unless your doctor is extremely concerned about the size of your baby there is no reason for you to worry. 

I can never comment on these posts w/o complaining about my own IL's, haha sorry. My MIL has graphically explained to my DH how I am going to rip and he will never want to DTD with me ever again - and similar horror stories. I don't understand why, but it is like she is trying to scare him. I feel like this is what your MIL may be doing.

Wishing you best of luck with ILs and the rest of your pregnancy!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:39 AM
kat9er
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-31-2012
16 Posts
312 Points
kat9er is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 10:02 PMNewbie

Just yesterday I heard the following things:

"When are you going to start looking pregnant?"

and

"Wow. You finally look pregnant. You REALLY popped."

On the same day! LOL... so I don't put too much credit in either statement. Talked to my MIL on the phone last night (lives in another state) and she asked, "Are you getting BIG? I mean, are you getting bigger?" Um yes, I'm bigger than when I saw you a couple months ago, but come on!?!? (I guess I needed to vent a little too Wink)

I try to remind myself that everyone has a different perspective and experience and their comments are coming from there. I'm trying to ignore all the comments except for medical professionals. Easier said than done!
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:42 AM
Talkativ15
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-09-2010
570 Posts
8,454 Points
Talkativ15 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 6:04 AMBronze
I would just say to them that per your doctor everything is looking good and they are not concerned.  Tell them you go to the doctor every 2 weeks and they check growth and have shown no concerns.  I would also let them know that elective c sections for FTM arent really optional unless your doctor addresses you with concerns.  Most of the time with larger babies if there is a concern they will schedule another ultrasound to check growth and if trying to deliver vaginally doesnt work you can always resort to a c section.  They may not be educated in how it works today with deliveries and they really have nothing to compare it to since your MIL never actually gave birth.  Its ok to be scared and freaked out but remember...when we knew we were putting a baby in there we all knew it had to come out at some point lol. 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 9:59 AM
wawa84
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-25-2007
414 Posts
7,564 Points
wawa84 is not online. Last active: 02-15-2013, 6:53 PMNewbie
The estimates done for baby's weight are just that...estimates.  My dr doesn't even do them because they are so inaccurate.  That being said, I wouldn't worry about the weight of your baby.  Generally speaking the c-sections that take place because the "baby was too big" or "mom was just too small" is complete bogus.  Every labor takes its own time and can't be put on someone else's time table.  It takes as long as it takes.  All too often doctors want things to happen in a certain amount of time, but it is not how the birthing process works. 

My best friend just had a baby about a month ago and he was 10lbs 12 ozs.  Both my friend and her MW thought they were going to be dealing with a 7- 8lb baby.  They were shocked.   She said that it felt no different giving birth to this big baby than her average 7-9lb babies. 

Tell your in-laws that you are measuring just fine and you dr does not have any concerns about your ability to give birth vaginally.  It really isn't any of their business.  You will be fine.  I agree with the pp that said your body will only grow a baby big enough for you to handle.  Trust your body to do what it needs to do.     
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 11:13 AM
Chocodoxie...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-29-2012
1,249 Posts
10,994 Points
Chocodoxies is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:00 AMBronze

It sounds to me like your MIL is very excited about her new grandbaby, and that she doesn't know very much about actually experiencing a pregnancy because she didn't have that option. Reading the books and talking to friends do not in any way equal experiencing the hormones and living the pregnancy. Nod and smile and move on. She is just really excited and wanting to be apart of this whole thing, but she has no idea how her words affect you. Now, if you ever have infertility issues or decide to adopt, she will be the best person in the world to talk to!  

Try and remember that she would have given anything in her world to have someone tell her that her belly was so big from her baby, so to her that is quite a compliment.  
Lost but never forgotten <3 :
1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks;
2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07;
3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks;
4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum;
5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks;
6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow
Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 11:43 AM
g8trkim
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-18-2007
Tampa, Florida
7,281 Posts
22,383 Points
g8trkim is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 11:32 PMGold
You may want to nicely tell her that the big baby talk needs to talk. As far as your worries, talk to your OB about it. They are the experts.
Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 1:25 PM
KateLouise
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-24-2002
New Zealand
7,058 Posts
10,748 Points
KateLouise is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 2:13 AMGold

Considering the height of yourself and your husband it's highly likely you will have a long baby. All that length has to fold up to fit somewhere which of course will make your tummy pop out.

That length will of course naturally add to the weight of your baby, but obviously doesn't mean it is harder to birth.

My 10lb 2oz baby was a very easy delivery. No stitches. No problems.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 3:30 PM
snmcfarlin
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-06-2012
157 Posts
3,320 Points
snmcfarlin is not online. Last active: 11-14-2012, 6:39 AMNewbie
Chocodoxies:

It sounds to me like your MIL is very excited about her new grandbaby, and that she doesn't know very much about actually experiencing a pregnancy because she didn't have that option. Reading the books and talking to friends do not in any way equal experiencing the hormones and living the pregnancy. Nod and smile and move on. She is just really excited and wanting to be apart of this whole thing, but she has no idea how her words affect you. Now, if you ever have infertility issues or decide to adopt, she will be the best person in the world to talk to!  

Try and remember that she would have given anything in her world to have someone tell her that her belly was so big from her baby, so to her that is quite a compliment.  

 

True! Good perspective :) 
IAmPregnant Ticker Pregnancy Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 8:39 PM
Kingston54
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-24-2009
9,895 Posts
27,965 Points
Kingston54 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 11:24 PMGold
I wouldn't worry.  Just because your DH was a big baby doesn't mean you will have a big baby too!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-05-2012 at 11:23 PM
Lissa832
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-28-2004
Stafford, VA
2,784 Posts
3,812 Points
Lissa832 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 8:02 AMSilver
If you follow the track of baby gains 1/2 lb a week, your LO should be around 8.5 lbs. that's a good sized baby, but not "big" by your standards.
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
11-06-2012 at 7:23 AM
LaurelBee
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2009
Chicago suburbs
6,309 Posts
46,145 Points
LaurelBee is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 1:30 PMGold
All my Drs and nurses kept commenting on how big Ds was in utero. I measured at 39w when I was just 34w! He was 7lbs 6oz at birth- not a monster baby by any stretch of the imagination. You are not growing a baby that is too big for you, so don't stress over their comments. If your Fil  brings up a CS again, tell him the ACoG does not recommend automatic CSs for large babies. Or just tell him you're uncomfortable talking about it with him! GL mama
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board