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11-05-2012 at 12:30 PM
thefrabott...
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Is it weird to have the dad-to-be at the shower?

I'm only 20 weeks pregnant, but I like to be prepared for everything. I've been kind of anxious without my husband around lately. I also want to share this baby shower experience with him, is that unusual or unheard of?
 
11-05-2012 at 12:33 PM
Allycat11
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It depends on your social circle if it is unheard of.  In my family men are always present for bridal showers but about 50/50 on baby showers.  IMO the main concern is if your husband is comfortable with being there.  


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11-05-2012 at 12:45 PM
StarBe
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definitely depends on your circle but I've never been to a baby shower w/o the SO present...

I figure a bridal shower is for the bride but a baby shower is for the baby and it takes 2 (or more depending on the pregnancy journey Big Smile) to make a baby so I say of course the SO should be able to celebrate too!


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11-05-2012 at 12:49 PM
amandalfox
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For my shower, it was only women up until the very end and my husband came to help open gifts.  We figured that way he could be there to thank everyone but didn't have to partake in the girly stuff beforehand.  I think it worked out well :)

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11-05-2012 at 12:51 PM
SmileyGirl...
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Mine came for the last half hour or so to say hello to everyone and thank the hostesses.

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11-05-2012 at 12:59 PM
Of The Eld
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More and more often I'm going to co-ed showers, and both ours will be co-ed. I think having at least one ther dude there makes it a little more fun for the DTB

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11-05-2012 at 12:59 PM
Nicolewins...
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I think if your DH is the only man there, he might feel awkward and it might be just a little awkward in general...but you could still get away with it if you really wanted.  I do like the idea of him coming by at the later part of the shower for gifts, too.

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11-05-2012 at 1:09 PM
daisy662
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I personally think that most baby showers (and bridal showers) are torture so I would not make my husband attend - unless it was a co-ed shower. Poor guy - it would be awful for him if it was all women oohing and aahing over baby stuff! I did however ask my husband to come for the last half hour or so to thank everyone and help load stuff in the car. He brought my Grandfather which was really nice.

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11-05-2012 at 2:12 PM
ggatlanta
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I say don't make your DH attend unless it is a co-ed shower - and if it is, pleeeeeeease do it like a grown-up party, not a lady's lunch! To me, there's almost nothing worse than showing up to a co-ed shower (having begged DH to go, promising there will be other men there), only to find it's all girly  decorations and cheesy games in which the men are expected to participate. Don't be that MTB! Your friends' husbands will never forget...

That said, we had a very successful co-ed shower for my brother's wife. We barely knew her (they met in the military, and she'd only been to visit our hometown a couple of times for short trips), so we thought she'd be more comfortable with him instead of in a room full of strange women. We had the party in the late afternoon / early evening, invited all kinds of couples and families, and served a light buffet plus beer and wine. Basically, it was just a regular summer party, with thirty minutes of gift opening towards the end.

ETA: The gift-giving at the end was announced very casually - my sister and I announced in each room and on the deck that the mother-to-be will be opening presents in the parlor in a few minutes for those who would like to watch. Really only the women (and my brother) sat for it - the men smiled and nodded at the invitation to watch, then milled around in another room, drinks in hand. It really worked well...


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11-05-2012 at 3:49 PM
MySallyGir...
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For the shower with his family my DH kind of hung around in the background with his dad, ate the meal, and had a beer with him.  Then when we opened the gifts he sat with me and helped.

 For the shower with my side of the family he just came at the end, said hi, and helped me load the gifts.  He was very grateful he did not have to go.  haha


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11-05-2012 at 4:09 PM
jvdavisbab...
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My first was co-ed so my dad and uncles were there so DH was there too :) my second this past weekend was all ladies but my grandpa had to bring my grandma because she doesn't drive, so we had DH there to keep him company. He was fine with it, he got to open the gifts and help grandma with the games lol

I think like other people have said it depends on if its acceptable in your "circle" and if DH is comfortable being around a bunch of ladies lol


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11-05-2012 at 5:42 PM
Andindria
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The shower throwers are leaving it up to him to decide whether or not he wants to attend before deciding on making it Co-Ed or not. I however would like him to at least attend the end of the shower and thank the guests and all our family. I think they will like that considering they love him and it will also help me out immensely so I don't feel like I missed talking to anyone at the shower.


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11-05-2012 at 5:45 PM
TarHeelMom...
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My shower was ladies only, but my husband attended too.  We didn't have any games, so it wasn't awkward at all.  We just had food, socializing and presents...he watched some football in another room (connected to the one we all were in) for part of the time, but was there and helped with all of the present opening.

I kind of left it up to him -- told him he didn't have to be there but was welcome.  With the exception of a couple of my co-workers, it was all our friends and family, so he knew everyone.


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11-05-2012 at 5:55 PM
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Mine did not attend the shower, but he came at the end. He had a piece of cake, greeted people and helped  with gifts. This was the family/MIL friend shower so he knew everyone.

My other shower was OOT and I went with my MIL and SIL. 


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11-05-2012 at 10:23 PM
oliversmom...
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Mine were always co-ed and he was there. It was a lot of fun. If it was just girls, I wouldn't of had him there though.

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11-06-2012 at 10:45 AM
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Mine was there the whole time and opened gifts with me. I got many compliments from family members after about how helpful and involved he was. Big Smile

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11-06-2012 at 3:38 PM
folding
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I'm not opening gifts at mine but there will be a seat for my husband if he would like to be there!  I anticipate that he will be there the whole time and go around with me to talk to family and friends.  I can't imagine that he won't be there.

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11-07-2012 at 8:23 AM
rhubarb123
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I've been to a couple of co-ed showers and the guys really weren't into it.  My DH went to one of them and said NEVER again.  I did go to a shower and just the DTB was there and he was EXTREMELY uncomfortable (and yes I say that in caps).  Plus, there was one thing they did that I (as a guest) did not appreciate.  There were only like 25 people there but they open gifts together (meaning he opened one while she opened one).  Well, I had some handmade onesies decorated in a way that only the mom would understand...but he opened them...looked at them and put them aside and went on opening the other things I had brought.  So...I never even got to see her reaction to them.  I was a bit upset about it to tell you the truth. 
 
11-07-2012 at 9:08 AM
lindseylov...
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As long as he wants to be there, I don't think it's weird.
That being said my husband I know will not be at mine because showers drive him nuts! :) I know at my bridal showers, he would come at the very end, have a piece of cake & thank people as they left, then load everything up in the car. I'm assuming it will probably be the same thing at the baby shower. In our family, it's not common at all for the dad-to-be to be at the shower but if I went to one where he was, I wouldn't think much of it.

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11-09-2012 at 2:54 PM
areadinger
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I had my surprise shower over the weekend and he was the one they used to lure me there and he stayed the entire time. I'm glad he did because I'm not super close to his side of the family so he helped to keep them entertained. There were actually a few guys there... probably about 10. 

It was nice that we both say up front to open gifts together. I felt super awkward being up there in the spotlight so it was nice that he was there.  


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11-09-2012 at 4:02 PM
sarnic123
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My fiance will probably come around the time we eat so that he can grab a plate and then he will stay to help me open presents. That way he can see what we get and from whom and to help me thank everybody for coming and being generous.
 
11-10-2012 at 7:33 AM
danatdana
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DH and the grandfathers will be at my shower. This is typical for both baby and wedding showers in my family.
 
11-10-2012 at 9:55 AM
BallSox
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My husband came and helped the hostess with moving the big stuff (her H took her two very little ones out for the day) and then kind of hung out with his dad (who showed up very much by surprise) outside until it was time to thank everyone. 

That being said, it depends a LOT on the H.  My friend from HS---her H came was there for the whole shower and when it was time to open presents, it was almost embarrassing to watch as he pouted when a card was addressed to "BF and Baby" or just "Baby".  Additionally, he would get very excited if it was addressed to the whole family, but then pout when it was something for baby or BF.  Like visibly pout.  "Oh! To "John, Jane and Jill Doe", Thank you so much Aunt Sally! :opens present, shoulders drop and pout face: "Oh, a breast pump.  Thanks.  I'm sure Jane will really enjoy this.  What else is there to open?"

 


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11-10-2012 at 10:13 AM
wells2010
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DH would probably stay if I asked him to. The shower our families are throwing for us is more traditional, so all women. I personally hate being the center of attention and am not good in these situations. DH on the other hand, is super talkative and a big ham, especially around a large group of older women. At my bridal shower I felt so awkward and ended up at least being able to have some wine to take the edge off. This time, obviously I can't do that, but I think it will be better since I have more experience with these things and am super excited for this baby to get here! I will probably have DH drive me there, come in to say hi, leave, and then come back with a half hour or so left. This way, I will have him there for a little bit and he can go spend some time alone with his dad.

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