I understand what you and your husband are going through. We had a similar situation- DH was fine and healthy, but I was the one who needed donor eggs to concieve.
I can tell you that for me, coming to terms with the reality that any children we had would not be genetically mine was hard- I went through a process that was similar to the grief you feel when someone passes away, all the same cycles. I don't know your details, but if your RE is telling you this NOW and you are having the IVF transfer soon, you DH may need some time to process and deal with the new reality and maybe you can try just using just him sperm this cycle but know that you may need to try again using a donor in the future once he can have some time to think it over.
For me, I was especially upset by the idea of having a daughter that would not look like me, there was something about the same sex connection- I was afraid she would not relate to me or resent me when she was older or wish for her "real" mom. Your husband may have some of the same fears about having a son. It really just took time for me to grieve and then come to understand that this was how it had to be if we wanted to concieve.
But hang in there- for us, using a donor worked out great- my first transfer was a success and we are currently expecting twin boys :) Good luck, I'll keep you in my thoughts.