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11-06-2012 at 9:00 AM
colemangal...
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colemangal85 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 5:11 PMNewbie

Afraid to Leave the House

I think I'm afraid to leave the house. My LO was born a preemie - he was 6 weeks early. He is now 8 weeks - so 2 weeks adjusted and so far I have only ever left the house with my husband with our LO to go to the doctor and I've only ever taken him out for a walk - twice - and that was when my parents was with us. 

 

I think I'm afraid to go out with my LO by myself. I'm afraid that it is too cold, I might do something wrong or he may cry out in public and I will be judged. Or that he could get something while we are out and about.

 How did you make your first trip out with your LO all by yourself? And at what age was he/she?  


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11-06-2012 at 9:07 AM
elainelbuc...
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DD was not a premie, but I took her out by myself shortly after DH went back to work, so around 2-3w.  I was terrified that something would happen, but everything was fine.  She just slept while I did some grocery shopping.  For the first few months she lived in fleece footy sleepers (she was born in January & we live in Colorado), but I have baby blankets in the car to bring her inside with.  People expect babies to cry, I have apologized (in line at the grocery store) and people always say oh, it's ok we understand.  It's not like she's throwing a tantrum or acting out.  Just try to relax and go run an errand.  It will be nerve wracking the first few times, but it gets easier.

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11-06-2012 at 9:16 AM
sarah62584
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I was really nervous too! The first real time we went out she was probably 3 weeks. I just had to get out. We went to Target (my favorite store) and she did well. I will tell you it gets easier the more you go out so you might just have to take the plunge. She is 8 weeks today and I take her everywhere.

However, she has started this new thing where she cries everywhere we go because she hates her car seat. The first time she did that I was embarrassed and thought ppl were looking and judging but to my surprise, people really don't care. I think when you have an older kid that is when people start the judgey looks. But when its an itty bitty baby most people just smile and say something encouraging. I have actually found people to be extra supportive and kind when my LO is screaming her head off. :) They offer me words of encouragement, help with my bags,tell me stories of how their LO would do that and remind me that its normal. Always makes me feel good.


 
11-06-2012 at 9:29 AM
ladyjenna1...
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colemangal85:

I think I'm afraid to leave the house. My LO was born a preemie - he was 6 weeks early. He is now 8 weeks - so 2 weeks adjusted and so far I have only ever left the house with my husband with our LO to go to the doctor and I've only ever taken him out for a walk - twice - and that was when my parents was with us. 

 

I think I'm afraid to go out with my LO by myself. I'm afraid that it is too cold, I might do something wrong or he may cry out in public and I will be judged. Or that he could get something while we are out and about.

 How did you make your first trip out with your LO all by yourself? And at what age was he/she?  

My wife had this fear as well.  I have to remind her that most people are so busy in thier own world that they could care less about a crying baby. The last thing any parent needs to worry about is if strangers are judging us because our children are crying.  Especially a newborn.

Now if it is a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, and the parent is being a horrible parent, then I might judge.  completely different than a newborn fussing.

Go out when you are ready to go out. At some point you will be....


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11-06-2012 at 9:49 AM
Hyaline
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Hyaline is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 9:36 AMSilver

I know what you mean--I was nervous to take LO out by myself mostly because it's hard enough to deal with her at home when she starts to cry, let alone out!  But it gets easier.  One thing I did--I started really small, and even just took a couple of drives without going anywhere to get used to maneuvering the carseat and having her with me in the car.  Now that I'm used to it, I really enjoy going out and getting the change of pace.   She was a week on our first solo trip (to the vet...geez!) and she's now six weeks.

As to worrying about her catching something--I can understand the worry, but think of it this way--what is she coming into contact with that she doesn't already?  Do you worry about DH bringing something home, or you giving her a cold? Probably not--yet she's not going to be touching anyone or getting breathed on by anyone but you while out.  I know people worry that a stranger will touch or come close, but this has yet to happen to me. 



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11-06-2012 at 11:23 AM
kjskjs
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My DD was 4 weeks early and I went out when she was 3 weeks old(negative one week adjusted :) ) and had only been home from the nicu for a week and a half. Its one of those things you just have to do. Eventually it will get easier to take them by yourself. As for the fears, Take extra blankets just in case. Don't worry about other people, let them judge if they are going to. Just know you are doing your best and you are a good mom! As long as you don't take him to ovverly crowded places, I'm sure he'll be fine. Just make sure strangers don't try to get too close if youre worried. Start small, pick one place to go and make it a short trip so that you eas yourself into it. Once you've done it, you'll feel more confident and it'll get easier.

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11-06-2012 at 12:41 PM
bigbootyju...
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He was two days old. SO went back to work and I didn't have a choice. Now, I take him everywhere and always have. He's fine in stores. I put a white noise app on in his car seat and it keeps him pretty calm. If he cries, he cries. He's a baby...who cares if someone judges you? What would they even judge you for? He's a newborn, newborns cry. Go out, get him out of the house, and you'll find your life to be a lot easier. 

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11-06-2012 at 6:48 PM
Jams1002
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I was the same way, I had to really give myself serious pep talks. I just took baby steps, first time was just a walk around the block. Second time DH was with me to help, third time I was meeting friends at Starbucks who had babies so they understood and the 4th time I did a trip to the mall all by myself, now I feel like a pro. Yeah, your kid might cry but you're there to provide comfort. And it was worth it, I felt like a whole new person getting out of the house!


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11-07-2012 at 3:32 PM
shibby00
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I did not have a preemie so I can't speak to that, but if your LO cries in public...so?  What will happen?  Will the world end?  So what if some old hag gives you a dirty look?  So?  Will the world end?  I'm serious!  Don't let fear of the kid crying keep you home!  Feed and change right before you go and keep the trip short the first few times, but get out of the house!  I can promise you that at some point (most likely several points) in your child's life they will cry and scream and have a temper tantrum at the grocery store.  So what?  Life goes on, food still needs to be bought.  The world will not end, I promise!

 
11-07-2012 at 6:02 PM
Eastie156
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DS was not a preemie, so I can't speak for that. I can say that he and I went to BRU when he was about a week old. Just me and him. The first trip out was tough, but it gets easier. You just have to practice. We joined a mommy & me group that forces us out of the house once a week to meet other moms and babies. We also took our first long extended road trip ( just DS and me) when he was just shy of 3 weeks old. We drove 2 1/2 hours to my IL's house in another state. It was tough, b/c I had to pull over at a rest stop along the way to feed him. But we made it! Just practice going out and know that he'll be exposed to people and germs at some point, you can't protect him forever. GL!

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