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11-06-2012 at 9:22 AM
BzeetyD
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Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver

argh I'm frustrated!!! - are you a leftover too? come in

I'm having a hard time on the bump lately as I'm feeling quite leftover here (for the 3rd time) which is majorly sucking... and I want to be clear that I am very happy for all the BFPs that get to move on and I know how hard IF is...but just ARGGGGGGG!!!!!

Infertility Veterans is like 1/100th of the board it used to be and I'm not comfortable being a part of a facebook group regardless of how anonymous it is.

There is no comfortable place for me to be right now and it feels very lonely. Crying Part of this is just the length of my journey, part of it is having multiple losses and dealing with IF and part of it is being between big decisions.

Wah wah wah... I need to go like, punch a pillow or something. Or take Mister Rogers' suggestion of "pound some clay or some dough"

I need to vent today. 


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 9:37 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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Joined on 06-15-2009
28,749 Points
Mrs.McIrish is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:24 PMGold

Hugs.  Just keep trying to revive/rebuild the Vets board with new "leftovers". I am sad that it is rather empty these days as it was something I desparately needed when I felt like you -- left behind, the worst of the infertiles. There will always be new people needing that space.

I definitely would like a punch a pillow today. I'm just waiting to fail a donor egg cycle. It doesn't get much worse than that..

 



TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
11-06-2012 at 9:47 AM
hootie123
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Joined on 11-16-2007
Buffalo, NY
7,439 Points
hootie123 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:21 PMSilver
I completely and totally understand how you feel.  I mostly lurk now instead of posting about my utter failures.  And pretty much everyone that I became close to on the bump is either pg or has their baby.  It's a really really really sh*tty place to still be in the trenches as all of your friends move on.    It's helped me a ton to have a group of IRL friends that I've made from my support group - but even that is hard since most of them have found success - but there are still a few that are fighting like me.  I wish I had an easy answer - but we both know there are no easy answers...




TTC #1 since 6/09
Dx: PCOS and MFI
3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
IVF #5/FET = BFP
14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
1st u/s=TWINS!
P/SAIFW 
 BabyFruit Ticker
 
11-06-2012 at 9:49 AM
bhead81
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Joined on 05-25-2008
Queen Creek, AZ
5,651 Points
bhead81 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 3:20 PMSilver

Siggy warning......

 

 

 

 

 

I understand how you feel.  Since I have an adopted son I feel strange posting here as so many people do not have kids but I am still infertile and I am now back TTC via IVF. 


Brenda & Phillip 10/10/2009

After 6 years of failed cycles, we were blessed with our little man through adoption.

IVF - Jan 2013
S/PAIF welcome
~~TTC Buddy kristie2422~~
 
11-06-2012 at 9:51 AM
Km672
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Joined on 01-02-2012
4,113 Points
Km672 is not online. Last active: 06-16-2013, 8:34 AMBronze
I totally understand. I feel the exact same way. I feel that most of the ladies on this board are beginning their IVF journeys and I've well..been there, done that times 4 plus 2 DS IUIs, now I'm onto IVF 5 with DS. I did not post long enough to belong on the infertility veterans board. Now that I am about to reach that milestone, I don't want to be part of a Facebook group!
This board is incredible and very supportive, but it's difficult watching others move on so quickly and I'm still here... after 4 years of battling infertility. I feel like I don't really belong here or there or anywhere.

Me (31) DOR/ MH (34) azoo/high DFI TTC#1 since 2009 IVF #1 cancelled dt poor response/ IVF #2 & #3: BFFN/ Natural Surprise BFP, early m/c -endometrial bx & methotrexate administered/ IVF#4:nothing to transfer/ DS IUI#1 BFN/ DS IUI#2 BFN/ IVF#5 (1st w/ DS):another BFFN/ Currently planning on DE and DS cycle Summer 2013. This has to be it- 
11-06-2012 at 9:53 AM
PurpleIris...
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Joined on 01-21-2011
12,436 Points
PurpleIris30 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 12:03 AMBronze
I'm sorry.  I've been posting on this board for nearly two years, and have been lurking for years before that as we were working on our game plan.  I haven't been posting much lately since it's just gotten too hard.  Due to the sensitive nature of my husband's genetic issues, I'll also never post on a facebook group that would reveal my identity.  I'm really sorry about your loss, and I wish I could do something that would make it better for you.  :(

Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!
 
11-06-2012 at 10:03 AM
BzeetyD
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Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver

Since IVF is so quiet - would peeps want to have a weekly check-in here?

Not an IVF check-in but, like, a step between? For folks with a few cycles under their belts? I wouldn't want to be harsh with the guidelines as it's only a check-in.

I'd be willing to run it. I'm not going anywhere for awhile. I promise that I'm normally less whiney.

We could have a secret handshake or something, or even a badge, if we want.

 

 


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:08 AM
Trippleb
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Joined on 11-20-2007
South Central PA
7,720 Points
Trippleb is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:16 PMBronze

Yesterday was a tough day for the vets on the infertility board. .

I'm all for reviving the IF vets board.  I really don't like the flow of things on FB.  I think some posts get lost over more popular posts and I really miss having a subject heading so I can quickly scan the things I want to read.  Plus I miss the siggys.  I know quite a few people's history, but it's to easy to lose track. 

 


TTC #1 since 9/07
Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
IUI #1 10/12 BFN
IVF #6 3/13 EPP low stim w/HGH O'd before trigger Cancelled
IVF #6. Clomid w/injectibles coming soon. Cancelled
Now what? S&PAIFW
 
11-06-2012 at 10:09 AM
Julie21613
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Joined on 06-05-2012
23,646 Points
Julie21613 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:54 PMBronze
Bzeety, I so feel like a leftover.  I was a lurker for about 2 years before I took the plunge and started posting.  So many people that I got to know (although they never got to know me) are either pregnant or had their babies.  I am terrified to start my 5th and probably last cycle with my own eggs.  I think I am going to wait until after the holidays.  I would like to try and enjoy them and not be stressed. I too am not comfortable joining the facebook group.  Hugs to you and all the rest of us that have been struggling with infertility and losses for sometime now. 

Me 31, DH 32 TTC summer 2008 Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days Mental health break for 10 months IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever) 7 fertilized transferred 3 Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521 First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12 IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13 3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet. PAIF/SAIF always welcome!  
11-06-2012 at 10:16 AM
BzeetyD
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Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver

Julie21613:
Bzeety, I so feel like a leftover.  I was a lurker for about 2 years before I took the plunge and started posting.  So many people that I got to know (although they never got to know me) are either pregnant or had their babies.  I am terrified to start my 5th and probably last cycle with my own eggs.  I think I am going to wait until after the holidays.  I would like to try and enjoy them and not be stressed. I too am not comfortable joining the facebook group.  Hugs to you and all the rest of us that have been struggling with infertility and losses for sometime now. 

Our next cycle will almost certainly be our last with our OE as well. We're looking to cycle in the new year too. You and me need to hang out more!


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:18 AM
BzeetyD
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver
Trippleb:

Yesterday was a tough day for the vets on the infertility board. .

I'm all for reviving the IF vets board.  I really don't like the flow of things on FB.  I think some posts get lost over more popular posts and I really miss having a subject heading so I can quickly scan the things I want to read.  Plus I miss the siggys.  I know quite a few people's history, but it's to easy to lose track. 

 

How can we re-start the IFV board? What are some ideas that you think could work? 

I'm all for posting over there too - we don't need to stay here.


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:20 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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Joined on 06-15-2009
28,749 Points
Mrs.McIrish is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:24 PMGold
Breezy-- do you promise not to have high fives?  I'm just not that cheerful at this stage.


TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
11-06-2012 at 10:23 AM
BzeetyD
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver

Mrs.McIrish:
Breezy-- do you promise not to have high fives?  I'm just not that cheerful at this stage.

Yes. I think I can do that. Embarrassed  If I'm cycling I can post on IF and high five all I want - is that cool?


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:23 AM
hootie123
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Joined on 11-16-2007
Buffalo, NY
7,439 Points
hootie123 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:21 PMSilver
BzeetyD:

Julie21613:
Bzeety, I so feel like a leftover.  I was a lurker for about 2 years before I took the plunge and started posting.  So many people that I got to know (although they never got to know me) are either pregnant or had their babies.  I am terrified to start my 5th and probably last cycle with my own eggs.  I think I am going to wait until after the holidays.  I would like to try and enjoy them and not be stressed. I too am not comfortable joining the facebook group.  Hugs to you and all the rest of us that have been struggling with infertility and losses for sometime now. 

Our next cycle will almost certainly be our last with our OE as well. We're looking to cycle in the new year too. You and me need to hang out more!

Same here!  We are doing 1 more IVF with my own eggs....talk about pressure....





TTC #1 since 6/09
Dx: PCOS and MFI
3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
IVF #5/FET = BFP
14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
1st u/s=TWINS!
P/SAIFW 
 BabyFruit Ticker
 
11-06-2012 at 10:24 AM
BzeetyD
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver
hootie123:
BzeetyD:

Julie21613:
Bzeety, I so feel like a leftover.  I was a lurker for about 2 years before I took the plunge and started posting.  So many people that I got to know (although they never got to know me) are either pregnant or had their babies.  I am terrified to start my 5th and probably last cycle with my own eggs.  I think I am going to wait until after the holidays.  I would like to try and enjoy them and not be stressed. I too am not comfortable joining the facebook group.  Hugs to you and all the rest of us that have been struggling with infertility and losses for sometime now. 

Our next cycle will almost certainly be our last with our OE as well. We're looking to cycle in the new year too. You and me need to hang out more!

Same here!  We are doing 1 more IVF with my own eggs....talk about pressure....

OK now we've really got something here!


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:32 AM
Enndea
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Joined on 11-29-2011
4,671 Points
Enndea is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 3:26 PMBronze

Ladies,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I made anyone feel shitty yesterday.  That was NEVER ever my intention.  At all! 


TTC #1 since 2/2011. Me: Age 36. Stage III Endo and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.
IUI #1 March: BFN, IUI #2 April: BFN.
IVF #1: Started stims 7/30--CANCELLED.
IVF #1.2: Stims start 10/8/12, ER: 10/20/12; 11R/8M/4F, 5DT: 10/25/12, transfer of a 4AA and 3AB Blast. BFP on HPT 10/31/12; Beta #1: (16 DPO) 954! Beta #2: (18 DPO) 1968! First U/S: TWINS!! A/S: TWO BOYS! EDD: 7/13/13
PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 BabyFruit Ticker
 Pregnancy Ticker
 
11-06-2012 at 10:35 AM
BellaLux
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Joined on 07-24-2008
11,572 Points
BellaLux is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 11:24 AMSilver
I'm sorry hun, my journey has not been as long and I have not faced multiple failed cycles, but I do feel out of place and left behind as well. Especially since we don't plan to cycle again for a while, I just don't know where to go. The IF board has been difficult lately because the majority of ladies IVF works (yes, I cam happy for all), but it makes me feel like a fluke or something. Since there's always a new cycle of bumpies, I don't know many of the new and the old SS are gone...ugh.... And as you stated, because I have not been active here for 6+ months, I can't transition to IVF-V...

~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
S/PAIF Welcome
Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
11-06-2012 at 10:36 AM
Km672
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Joined on 01-02-2012
4,113 Points
Km672 is not online. Last active: 06-16-2013, 8:34 AMBronze
Unless things are drastically different this time, this will be my last try with my own eggs too. Going into this knowing that is very difficult.

Me (31) DOR/ MH (34) azoo/high DFI TTC#1 since 2009 IVF #1 cancelled dt poor response/ IVF #2 & #3: BFFN/ Natural Surprise BFP, early m/c -endometrial bx & methotrexate administered/ IVF#4:nothing to transfer/ DS IUI#1 BFN/ DS IUI#2 BFN/ IVF#5 (1st w/ DS):another BFFN/ Currently planning on DE and DS cycle Summer 2013. This has to be it- 
11-06-2012 at 10:41 AM
hootie123
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Joined on 11-16-2007
Buffalo, NY
7,439 Points
hootie123 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:21 PMSilver
Enndea:

Ladies,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I made anyone feel shitty yesterday.  That was NEVER ever my intention.  At all! 

I think you are missing the point of this thread - it is not about individual people posting their BFPs.  It's about being left behind over and over and over again...and that is what makes us feel sh*tty. 





TTC #1 since 6/09
Dx: PCOS and MFI
3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
IVF #5/FET = BFP
14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
1st u/s=TWINS!
P/SAIFW 
 BabyFruit Ticker
 
11-06-2012 at 10:44 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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28,749 Points
Mrs.McIrish is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:24 PMGold
BzeetyD:

Mrs.McIrish:
Breezy-- do you promise not to have high fives?  I'm just not that cheerful at this stage.

Yes. I think I can do that. Embarrassed  If I'm cycling I can post on IF and high five all I want - is that cool?

Lol.



TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
11-06-2012 at 10:47 AM
Enndea
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Joined on 11-29-2011
4,671 Points
Enndea is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 3:26 PMBronze
hootie123:
Enndea:

Ladies,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I made anyone feel shitty yesterday.  That was NEVER ever my intention.  At all! 

I think you are missing the point of this thread - it is not about individual people posting their BFPs.  It's about being left behind over and over and over again...and that is what makes us feel sh*tty. 

 

I understood that.  I just wanted to apologize for possibly contributing to it.  That was all. 


TTC #1 since 2/2011. Me: Age 36. Stage III Endo and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.
IUI #1 March: BFN, IUI #2 April: BFN.
IVF #1: Started stims 7/30--CANCELLED.
IVF #1.2: Stims start 10/8/12, ER: 10/20/12; 11R/8M/4F, 5DT: 10/25/12, transfer of a 4AA and 3AB Blast. BFP on HPT 10/31/12; Beta #1: (16 DPO) 954! Beta #2: (18 DPO) 1968! First U/S: TWINS!! A/S: TWO BOYS! EDD: 7/13/13
PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 BabyFruit Ticker
 Pregnancy Ticker
 
11-06-2012 at 10:49 AM
BzeetyD
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Joined on 07-29-2010
Twin Cities, MN
23,102 Points
BzeetyD is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:17 PMSilver
Enndea:

Ladies,

I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I made anyone feel shitty yesterday.  That was NEVER ever my intention.  At all! 

Your BFP deserves to be celebrated and please do not think that this thread is down on BFPs or those who are newly cycling.

The journey changes over time, emotional needs are different and with the dismal turnout on Infertility Vets, it's hard to find a place to take that energy... that's what this thread is about.


BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-06-2012 at 10:58 AM
Ecarabeo21...
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11,055 Points
Ecarabeo217 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 6:34 PMBronze
Yeah...lately I've been mostly lurking because I dont' quite feel like I fit anywhere either...even though I'm "only" 1 IVF under my belt, I feel like I've been on hold since. I mistakenly went on to PAIF the other day...just to see what folks were talking about, and instantly realized how stupid that was since I saw the people that cycled with me 20+ weeks pregnant. Ugh. And I just met with a new RE (who I think we will be keeping) and found that they group-start people...he doesn't think I will have enough time (with the other stuff we have going on with DH) to start December so I may be pushed to FEBRUARY!! WTF?? So I feel like everyone keeps moving on (which I'm totally happy for them) but definitely feeling leftover these days.  Would love to have a check in!!

Married 2007 3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs IVF #1 never made it to transfer On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013 Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on. OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -- Margaret Thatcher  
11-06-2012 at 11:16 AM
Edwina.McD...
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15,958 Points
Edwina.McDunnough is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:21 PMGold
BzeetyD:

The journey changes over time, emotional needs are different and with the dismal turnout on Infertility Vets, it's hard to find a place to take that energy... that's what this thread is about.

This is exactly what IFV is about and the very reason for it's creation. 

It's been discussed many many times and I won't rehash it, but it's really impossible to get to "know" someone if everyone has the same generic bump avatars and same badges in their signatures. I am very anit-badges and TTC checkins because it really ruined the IF board when people only post in the checkins. Its divisive rather than encompassing and not what IFV community is based on originally. I acknowledge that all boards have and will continue to evolve and that's a natural part of things and my opinion won't matter in the end, but there it is, however if things change significantly, I'll probably shut down the FAQ if it proves to be out of date or inaccurate.

If folks want to loosen the 6m guideline to, say 4 months or bronze standing or whatever, to get things moving I'm open to that, however someone has to draw the line and unfortunately that person won't be me this time. Warning: you'll get a lot of grief from people saying how unfair you are. 

Keep in mind that the IF board was everyone for a really long time, and IFers rallied together to form IFV for the very reason you stated above. We all have the ability to make things happen.


+++ 
11-06-2012 at 11:24 AM
BAKERMOMHD...
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BAKERMOMHDS is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 11:30 PMBronze

hootie123:
I completely and totally understand how you feel.  I mostly lurk now instead of posting about my utter failures.  And pretty much everyone that I became close to on the bump is either pg or has their baby.  It's a really really really sh*tty place to still be in the trenches as all of your friends move on.    It's helped me a ton to have a group of IRL friends that I've made from my support group - but even that is hard since most of them have found success - but there are still a few that are fighting like me.  I wish I had an easy answer - but we both know there are no easy answers...

This exactly.. I pretty much lurk when I feel strong, otherwise it's too hard.

Big Hugs...


Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010) DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT! Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011
M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)
8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****
 
11-06-2012 at 11:34 AM
cupcake201
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Joined on 11-16-2011
4,224 Points
cupcake201 is not online. Last active: 06-16-2013, 7:59 PMBronze
I'm sorry you are feeling so down today. I haven't been in your shoes but I can imagine not feeling like you belong anywhere must be very supporting. With that being said, I am happy you are here, and live having you on this board. Between your high fives and crazy polls, you help bring a smile to everyone's day when you post. HUGE HUGS to you and I hope you feel better.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

TTC#1 since 4/11 : m/c in 9/11 & 11/11
DH dx with Balanced Translocation 5/12
10/12 IVF#1-7R, 3M, 3F- No transfer - Froze 2.
IVF#2 1/13 - 11R, 10M, 6F, no transfer
IVF#3 4/13 - 8R, 6M, 6F, 1 passed PGD and was transfered 5/2/13
S/PAIF Welcome
 
11-06-2012 at 11:38 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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Joined on 06-15-2009
28,749 Points
Mrs.McIrish is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:24 PMGold
Edwina.McDunnough:
BzeetyD:

The journey changes over time, emotional needs are different and with the dismal turnout on Infertility Vets, it's hard to find a place to take that energy... that's what this thread is about.

This is exactly what IFV is about and the very reason for it's creation. 

It's been discussed many many times and I won't rehash it, but it's really impossible to get to "know" someone if everyone has the same generic bump avatars and same badges in their signatures. I am very anit-badges and TTC checkins because it really ruined the IF board when people only post in the checkins. Its divisive rather than encompassing and not what IFV community is based on originally. I acknowledge that all boards have and will continue to evolve and that's a natural part of things and my opinion won't matter in the end, but there it is, however if things change significantly, I'll probably shut down the FAQ if it proves to be out of date or inaccurate.

If folks want to loosen the 6m guideline to, say 4 months or bronze standing or whatever, to get things moving I'm open to that, however someone has to draw the line and unfortunately that person won't be me this time. Warning: you'll get a lot of grief from people saying how unfair you are. 

Keep in mind that the IF board was everyone for a really long time, and IFers rallied together to form IFV for the very reason you stated above. We all have the ability to make things happen.

Edwina, you are a wise woman.  



TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
11-06-2012 at 11:44 AM
Sophistiki...
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Joined on 02-06-2012
3,840 Points
Sophistikitty is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 6:51 PMBronze

BzeetyD, I feel the same way.  I’m not really sure where I fit in anymore.  I was going to join Infertility Veterans but as you said, there is no one there anymore.  As for the Facebook group, I left Facebook years ago and have no desire to go back on there... drama and irritations I just don’t need in my life!  Just know that (as you can see from the responses) you are not the only leftover in the fridge ;)  (((Hugs)))


TTC #1
Dx = AMA/DOR, hypothyroid, submucosal fibroid, adenomyosis, mild MFI
IUI#1-3 = BFN
IVF #1 (EPP Antagonist); 3R, 2M, 1F; 3dt of one 12-cell embryo = BFN
IVF #2 (EPP MDLF); 6R, 4M, 3F; 3dt of 1-7 cell, 1-8 cell & 1-10 cell = BFP; confirmed C/P @ 4w2d
Genetic carrier screening negative (CF, Fragile X, SMA, Tay Sachs)
Karyotyping, autoimmune & thrombophilia panels all normal
IVF#3 (DE); 13R, 12M, 8F; 5dt of two “excellent quality” blasts = BFP
Beta#1 = 203, Beta #2 = 81, Beta #3 = 17; confirmed C/P @ 5w1d
Two frosties left
*PAIF/SAIF welcome*  
11-06-2012 at 11:55 AM
Jlynn3
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Joined on 11-05-2007
South Jersey
7,174 Points
Jlynn3 is not online. Last active: 03-14-2013, 9:30 AMSilver
Mrs.McIrish:
Edwina.McDunnough:
BzeetyD:

The journey changes over time, emotional needs are different and with the dismal turnout on Infertility Vets, it's hard to find a place to take that energy... that's what this thread is about.

This is exactly what IFV is about and the very reason for it's creation. 

It's been discussed many many times and I won't rehash it, but it's really impossible to get to "know" someone if everyone has the same generic bump avatars and same badges in their signatures. I am very anit-badges and TTC checkins because it really ruined the IF board when people only post in the checkins. Its divisive rather than encompassing and not what IFV community is based on originally. I acknowledge that all boards have and will continue to evolve and that's a natural part of things and my opinion won't matter in the end, but there it is, however if things change significantly, I'll probably shut down the FAQ if it proves to be out of date or inaccurate.

If folks want to loosen the 6m guideline to, say 4 months or bronze standing or whatever, to get things moving I'm open to that, however someone has to draw the line and unfortunately that person won't be me this time. Warning: you'll get a lot of grief from people saying how unfair you are. 

Keep in mind that the IF board was everyone for a really long time, and IFers rallied together to form IFV for the very reason you stated above. We all have the ability to make things happen.

Edwina, you are a wise woman.  

Very well said Edwina.

IF is hard no matter where you are in your journey.  The vets board was created for those who have been on the road for a long time and need some kind of outlet.  A place where drive-bys don't happen, and one timers don't breeze thru.  A place where you can b*tch and moan and yet still support one another.

It is sad to see the board so empty, yet at the same time it can be revived just as Edwina said.  I hope that there is a revival and that others can find the solace that I found there.


SAIFW
TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
Clomid/Femara no "O"
IVF #1 BFN
FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
my blog
 
11-06-2012 at 12:00 PM
Juicy71
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Joined on 11-18-2011
23,318 Points
Juicy71 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:51 PMSilver
((((((hugs))))))

Me: 41 DH: 37 - AMA, DOR
BFP 2.12.2012, c/p 2.17.2012
IUIs 1-3 = BFFN :(
IVF #1 - Sept 2012 = BFFN :(
IVF #2 - Dec 2012 = BFP!! EDD 9/4/2013
Beta #1 = 107, Beta #2 = 4,650!! U/S 1/15/2013
Everyone welcome!
Team Pink!!
 BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary

 
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