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11-06-2012 at 9:41 PM
abee5528
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Gift from Host?

I am co-hosting a shower for a friend next month. What is the etiquette for a gift from the host? For my bridal showers, my mom told me I should consider the shower the hosts gift to me, as they are expensive and a lot of work. I completely understand that. That was quite a few years ago, and I don't even remember whether or not that is what happened.

For my friend's shower we are hosting a lunch, and will be giving our friend some cute onesies we made as decoration. Other than that, we have no plans for another gift. When we offered to host the shower, it was about 15 guests and our friend and her mom have added people (who couldn't attend other showers) so now we are at about 25. It's not that I don't want to give her a gift, but I have to respect my family budget and it's more than I thought.

I'm just curious because I want to follow the etiquette.

 

 
 
11-07-2012 at 12:15 AM
MelleTX
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I hosted my sister's shower alone so I made the decorations part of her gifts - a diaper cake, onesies hanging on a clothes line, etc. I also purchased matching thank you notes for her invitations. I did not buy anything off her registry. Her birthday was the month before and I had given her a Coach diaper bag though. 

My two older sisters hosted a shower for me together and they also went in together and bought my swing.

4 friends hosted a big shower for me and they all went overboard on their individual gifts.  

I think it can really go either way. I would at least have something she can unwrap, even if it is small. It's about the gesture and the sentiment behind the gift, not the value or the price tag.  
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11-07-2012 at 3:26 AM
MelRC117
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I think the gift is the shower. Your MTB even added people to the list, going above your anticipated budget.
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11-07-2012 at 6:24 AM
Joy2611
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The shower is your gift.  It's a lot of work to plan, purchase and put on a shower.  You are not obligated to give anything else.
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11-07-2012 at 7:06 AM
Estwd2
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I've personally never been to a shower where the hostess did not have a gift for the MTB. Usually in our families, the mother of the MTB is the hostess, so it's usually quite a few large gifts. But that's just my family. In other circles, it's common for the shower to be the only gift.
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11-07-2012 at 8:46 AM
rhubarb123
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I think it goes both ways.  I always give a small gift even though I hosted the shower.  I also give a gift after the baby is born.

If your budget doesn't allow it let the shower and decorations be your gift.  Then...if you feel you can afford it, give something after the baby is born.
 
11-07-2012 at 8:59 AM
lindseylov...
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I would probably just get her a little something to open at the shower, not something expensive or even anything off her registry necessarily.
Having a shower is a big expense as it is & if it weren't for you, she might not get one at all. She probably understands this as well anyways :)
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11-07-2012 at 9:28 AM
joshandpan...
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I am hosting my friends shower in February, and I plan on the shower being my gift to her, since she is only having this one shower. (there will be about 50-60 people there) 

but, once of the games i am planning will incorporate another gift.  I am doing the remember whats in the diaper bag game, where I buy the diaper bag, and a bunch of stuff that goes in it (diapers, wipes, socks, binks, asperator etc.) and everyone has a chance to see whats in it, then they have like 5 min to remember what they can. Person with the most right gets a prize, MTB gets the stuff.. 
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11-07-2012 at 10:38 AM
1026pumpki...
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I've experienced both- the shower itself is a very generous gift, so I wouldn't feel obligated to purchase another gift if it's going to strain your budget.  As PPs suggested, if you can make the decorations (diaper cakes, onesie bouquets, etc.) and games (diaper bag game) things she can use, that's great.  A small token gift to open- such as a footprint kit or small frame, might also be nice if you really want her to be able to open something from you.
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11-07-2012 at 11:50 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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When I host a baby shower I usually get some receiving blankets, burp cloths and a gift certificate Visa card. It's not required, but I enjoy giving gifts too. The shower is usually considered the gift in my circle.
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11-07-2012 at 1:06 PM
526SadieSa...
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I think the shower is enough of a gift, but if you want to also give a gift to the MTB, pick something off of the registry or if they have decided on a name for the little one, order a personalized baby blanket from Etsy.com.

I don't think you are expected to give a gift other than the shower.
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11-07-2012 at 3:04 PM
wittyschaf...
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I've thrown two showers and each time, I gave a gift.  I spent less than I would have if I hadn't thrown the shower, but I still wanted the MTB to have something from me.  I think it just depends on your relationship with the mom and what is customary in your circle.  
 
11-08-2012 at 11:26 AM
Shel79
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I hosted a shower by myself for my SIL, and did not purchase a seperate gift.  By the time I finished paying for the invitations, favors, thank-you notes, decorations, and food, I was honestly pretty tapped out!  I did get them a gift when I first found out about the pregnancy, and I buy my nieces gifts fairly often anyhow, so I have no guilt over not getting her a seperate shower gift. 
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