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All Boards > April 2011 Moms
I am about to whine a little (or a lot).
On Tuesday of last week I started spotting and went in to my ob. U/s showed a wiggly baby with a good heartbeat. Friday I was still spotting so I went in again and yet another ultrasound showed a wiggly baby and a good hb. Saturday morning I woke up with horrible lower back pain what I thought was wicked gas. About 9:30 I stood up and felt a huge gush. Sparing you the details I miscarried. It was pretty horrifying and I am pretty sure I will never forget it. any of it. The good in all of this was that I had my 2 best friends here that were able to help with Jack and take me to the hospital. DH was out of town and met me there.
On Sunday evening my dog snapped at Jack through the baby gate and caught his thumb. This is the second time we have had a near miss with the dog and the baby. I can't have that. He is also a nervous wreck all of the time when the baby is around and it's kind of sad to watch. But this dog was my baby. He actually pretty much saved me when I first moved down here and was so sick and had no one. I had him. I have been trying to find someone with out kids to take him since our first near miss but have been unsuccessful. I called our vet who knows the dog well for advice and he felt that it was best to take him to the SPCA and have him evaluated. He also said to call a border collie rescue, there are none that can take him.
I took him to the SPCA on Monday after a long walk in the woods and a swim in the creek and they said that they were going to take him back to be evaluated and that it would take 15 minutes. They came back and said that he passed and woudl I sign the paperwork?
I asked to see him and say goodbye and they said that they already put him up and it was policy to not bring them back out. Well, they should have effing told me that. I am beyond devestated. I know that they think I am an a$$ for surrendering my dog. I get that, I feel that way as well. But, I don't really know what else I can do. I seriously can't get anyone to take him. I didn't want to do it. But I feel like I had to choose between my baby and my dog.
So because I was already pretty effed up emotionally I literally sobbed and ugly cried all the way home. I can't sleep at night between "seeing" the miscarriage in my minds eye and imagining my sweet Monte in a SPCA commercial with Sara McClachlan singing in the back ground. It's just so so much. To much. I feel like it's a good thing that I have a great sitter for Jack because I am pretty much useless to him these days.
Whew, I am so sorry for the long crazy tale.
i'm so sorry for your loss in both cases...you did the right thing with your dog though although so hard.
** ticker warning below **
I am so incredibly sorry for what you have gone through. I feel like words are so inedaquate right now and my heart aches for you.
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