denison2:I say when the invitations go out, you look at whose names they put on the invitation as the hostess...My mom and I are hosting a shower this weekend and we were supposed to have a 3rd host...(who told the MTB she wanted to host with us and never responded to our communications to her) and we didn't put her name on the invite as a hostess because she never offered to do anything. If all 4 friends are on the invite, treat them all the same, at least the day of the shower.
i agree with this. If you hear some one put in extra work, you can take time to personally thank them later, maybe out at lunch one day or so etching, most people don't host showers for gifts,so I wouldn't worry about that part, but its nice when someone notices you extra efforts and gives a sincere thank you.