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11-12-2012 at 9:06 AM

gusjaim

Joined on 07-09-2010

Philadelphia Suburb

136 Posts

900 Points

gusjaim is not online. Last active: 01-15-2013, 12:41 PM

Expanding family = trapped at job

Maybe I'm alone but does anyone feel really trapped at their job when they are TTC, I know when I was pregnant with DS I felt trapped because I knew I needed the insurance (I like the position but really needed to move up out of entry level). Now I have a new job but really don't think its a good fit for me, however I carry insurance for my family and were currently TTC. I cannot risk starting a new position and not having insurance or be eligible for FMLA, however it is more imporant for me to expand my family then find my dream job. I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings with previous pregnancies or when TTC?

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11-12-2012 at 9:10 AM

krptcmschf...

Joined on 10-18-2010

Lancaster, PA

7,151 Posts

136,789 Points

krptcmschfmkr128 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:44 PM

gusjaim:
Maybe I'm alone but does anyone feel really trapped at their job when they are TTC, I know when I was pregnant with DS I felt trapped because I knew I needed the insurance (I like the position but really needed to move up out of entry level). Now I have a new job but really don't think its a good fit for me, however I carry insurance for my family and were currently TTC. I cannot risk starting a new position and not having insurance or be eligible for FMLA, however it is more imporant for me to expand my family then find my dream job. I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings with previous pregnancies or when TTC?

I feel this way now, but am still actively looking for another position, just have to be careful about the benefits. I have to find something that will allow me to be active from day 1 (many healthcare professions do). As far as FMLA, many employers will allow you a medical LOA if you don't qualify for FMLA. You can't be fired for being pregnant or having a baby.

Started dating DH 06/06/2009

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012

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11-12-2012 at 9:12 AM

savannah_g...

Joined on 03-11-2008

6,580 Posts

3,410 Points

savannah_girl is not online. Last active: 06-16-2013, 11:47 AM

Yep. But I figure with this economy, I will stick with my job for now. It will look better on a resume to stay here longer with decent benefits that to attempt to find a new job.

I figure it is just a few years of my life and I can manage. Plus, I am about to be vested in my 403b. Now, I am looking for a transfer in my company. That way I can keep everything, and get out of my job from hell.

TTC #2 since July-2012 with PCOS, on metformin Savannah's Chart

11-12-2012 at 9:19 AM

jschwind22

Joined on 04-14-2011

4,136 Posts

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jschwind22 is online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 11:57 PM

Yes. I work a lot of hours in a high stress job. I'm the supervisor oncall every other week. I worry about having the time I need for a family when I do get pregnant. There have been times that I'm very unhappy in my position and want to leave to find something less stressful, but there are other times that I love it. I have over 12 weeks of sick time accumulated that I would lose if I left. It has definitely kept me from leaving. I've decided that I will stick it out and give it a try after a baby, but if it's not working I'll look for something else then. DH carries our medical insurance, so we're good there.

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11-12-2012 at 9:31 AM

EmeJay

Joined on 09-24-2012

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EmeJay is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 5:52 PM

I absolutely hate my job right now and the 1h15 commute both way.

But I have incredible conditions ... So I just suck it up for now, and will see once I get pregnant if I'll come back.

TTC #1 since July 2012
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11-12-2012 at 9:35 AM

GhostMonke...

Joined on 03-09-2006

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krptcmschfmkr128:
gusjaim:

Maybe I'm alone but does anyone feel really trapped at their job when they are TTC, I know when I was pregnant with DS I felt trapped because I knew I needed the insurance (I like the position but really needed to move up out of entry level). Now I have a new job but really don't think its a good fit for me, however I carry insurance for my family and were currently TTC. I cannot risk starting a new position and not having insurance or be eligible for FMLA, however it is more imporant for me to expand my family then find my dream job. I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings with previous pregnancies or when TTC?

I feel this way now, but am still actively looking for another position, just have to be careful about the benefits. I have to find something that will allow me to be active from day 1 (many healthcare professions do). As far as FMLA, many employers will allow you a medical LOA if you don't qualify for FMLA. You can't be fired for being pregnant or having a baby.

If you don't have FMLA protections, yes, you can be let go for a long term absence- regardless of reason.

11-12-2012 at 9:43 AM

citygirl17

Joined on 03-23-2009

Boston, MA

1,080 Posts

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citygirl17 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:56 PM

I do feel trapped by my job right now. It's good money, but not something I can see myself doing forever. They just threw me a curveball though by giving me a promotion and a raise. I realized this place may not be a good fit for me in the long term when I wasn't that excited about the promotion - it feels like a step back rather than a step forward even though it's more money and the position is higher up within my department.

Currently DH and I each have our own insurance plans through our respective employers because for us it's actually cheaper that way. If I were to leave this job, I could always go under his plan, so we're ok there.

Once I have a baby I'm seriously going to evaluate what I want out of my future career. DH and I may only have one kid, so I want to savor the time I will have with the baby and not feel yanked away from him / her to go back to work as soon as my designated maternity leave is over. During my maternity leave I'm going to begin looking at other opportunities, hopefully that will involve working from home. I would really like to be a SAHM for at least a year. DH and I have a significant savings so there is no reason why I wouldn't be able to do that and then find a new job when I'm ready to go back to work, but it's complicated by the fact that we also would like to move sometime next year to be a little closer to his family. So, things are kind of up in the air right now but they always have a way of falling into place the way they're supposed to.

"Imperfection is beauty; madness is genious. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" ~ Marilyn Monroe

11-12-2012 at 9:44 AM

gusjaim

Joined on 07-09-2010

Philadelphia Suburb

136 Posts

900 Points

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this feeling. I know with my current position it has been hard because I am so stressed and when I have to work overtime I feel I am neglecting my DS. I know woe is me being a working mom.. lol

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11-12-2012 at 9:50 AM

krptcmschf...

Joined on 10-18-2010

Lancaster, PA

7,151 Posts

136,789 Points

GhostMonkey:
krptcmschfmkr128:
gusjaim:

Maybe I'm alone but does anyone feel really trapped at their job when they are TTC, I know when I was pregnant with DS I felt trapped because I knew I needed the insurance (I like the position but really needed to move up out of entry level). Now I have a new job but really don't think its a good fit for me, however I carry insurance for my family and were currently TTC. I cannot risk starting a new position and not having insurance or be eligible for FMLA, however it is more imporant for me to expand my family then find my dream job. I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings with previous pregnancies or when TTC?

I feel this way now, but am still actively looking for another position, just have to be careful about the benefits. I have to find something that will allow me to be active from day 1 (many healthcare professions do). As far as FMLA, many employers will allow you a medical LOA if you don't qualify for FMLA. You can't be fired for being pregnant or having a baby.

If you don't have FMLA protections, yes, you can be let go for a long term absence- regardless of reason.

From my understanding talking to my HR department, it is considered a medical LOA for STD and they only have to allow you 6-8 weeks (depending on situation c-section requiring 8wks). If you have to take longer, then they can fire you, but they have to at least allow you 6 weeks, unpaid. You can't take the 12wks allowed by FMLA, but you are supposed to be given 6-8.

Started dating DH 06/06/2009

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012

Kryptic Mischief in the Making

11-12-2012 at 9:54 AM

AnnieDash9...

Joined on 03-09-2012

26 Posts

564 Points

AnnieDash93 is not online. Last active: 11-22-2012, 4:11 PM

I am in the same boat as u, I hate my job but love the company and location (5 minutes from home ) pays great but worried that my high position won't be available after maternity leave :(.

As far as insurance there are other options(unfortunately most are just for u and your infant ). For example California has the AIM program which covers your entire pregnancy and the baby for up to a year , your income has to be of a certain amount , I don't think it's considered low income , but I'm sure you can do some research and find a similar or other program in your state.

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

~Trying to get knocked up since 02/2012~

11-12-2012 at 10:01 AM

cinderin

Joined on 05-16-2003

Bellevue, Washington

3,537 Posts

39,549 Points

cinderin is online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 12:04 AM

Absolutely. It is one of the reasons dh and I put off ttc until I was in a job I was happy with and wanted to stay at long term.

"How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls

When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

BFP 11/24/2012 with EDD 8/07/2013
Baby Boy - Martin Robert
FTM & High Risk PG

11-12-2012 at 10:09 AM

GhostMonke...

Joined on 03-09-2006

Bum Fuck Eqypt

50,036 Posts

81,405 Points

krptcmschfmkr128:
GhostMonkey:
krptcmschfmkr128:
gusjaim:

Maybe I'm alone but does anyone feel really trapped at their job when they are TTC, I know when I was pregnant with DS I felt trapped because I knew I needed the insurance (I like the position but really needed to move up out of entry level). Now I have a new job but really don't think its a good fit for me, however I carry insurance for my family and were currently TTC. I cannot risk starting a new position and not having insurance or be eligible for FMLA, however it is more imporant for me to expand my family then find my dream job. I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings with previous pregnancies or when TTC?

I feel this way now, but am still actively looking for another position, just have to be careful about the benefits. I have to find something that will allow me to be active from day 1 (many healthcare professions do). As far as FMLA, many employers will allow you a medical LOA if you don't qualify for FMLA. You can't be fired for being pregnant or having a baby.

If you don't have FMLA protections, yes, you can be let go for a long term absence- regardless of reason.

From my understanding talking to my HR department, it is considered a medical LOA for STD and they only have to allow you 6-8 weeks (depending on situation c-section requiring 8wks). If you have to take longer, then they can fire you, but they have to at least allow you 6 weeks, unpaid. You can't take the 12wks allowed by FMLA, but you are supposed to be given 6-8.

That's nice that your HR department won't. They don't have to keep you around. In most states, they do not need a reason to fire you. With FMLA you have a leg to stand on if you feel you were let go for being absent. Without FMLA you do not.

11-12-2012 at 10:10 AM

GhostMonke...

Joined on 03-09-2006

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50,036 Posts

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AnnieDash93:

I am in the same boat as u, I hate my job but love the company and location (5 minutes from home ) pays great but worried that my high position won't be available after maternity leave :(.

As far as insurance there are other options(unfortunately most are just for u and your infant ). For example California has the AIM program which covers your entire pregnancy and the baby for up to a year , your income has to be of a certain amount , I don't think it's considered low income , but I'm sure you can do some research and find a similar or other program in your state.

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

That isn't a downside, it's downright stupid and irresponsible if you have a child.

And please spell out the word you. This isn't a text and hopefully you are not 15.

11-12-2012 at 10:51 AM

cinderin

Joined on 05-16-2003

Bellevue, Washington

3,537 Posts

39,549 Points

GhostMonkey:
AnnieDash93:

I am in the same boat as u, I hate my job but love the company and location (5 minutes from home ) pays great but worried that my high position won't be available after maternity leave :(.

As far as insurance there are other options(unfortunately most are just for u and your infant ). For example California has the AIM program which covers your entire pregnancy and the baby for up to a year , your income has to be of a certain amount , I don't think it's considered low income , but I'm sure you can do some research and find a similar or other program in your state.

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

That isn't a downside, it's downright stupid and irresponsible if you have a child.

And please spell out the word you. This isn't a text and hopefully you are not 15.

COBRA is continuation coverage so you dont go without insurance. It is expensive because it is the full cost of the group coverage (what you and the employer pay for your coverage). Likely it will be about $500 a month for you, $400 for kid(s). So you will want to save this money in advance and consider it a cost of switching jobs.

"How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls

When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

BFP 11/24/2012 with EDD 8/07/2013
Baby Boy - Martin Robert
FTM & High Risk PG

11-12-2012 at 11:08 AM

ScarletOfl...

Joined on 09-14-2012

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I wouldn't say I feel trapped so much as I feel limited because of it. I like my job - the work is easy, and the pay is decent, and this is literally like NO stress. But I don't know that I LOVE my job, and now that we are TTC, I feel like I can't leave it because the benefits are good and I've been here long enough for my FMLA. I dunno, not even sure that I'd want to leave but we are going through a big restructure and the job is not the same as when I started it. Trying to hang in there and see where this goes.

Pregnant with #4 It's gonna get real

11-12-2012 at 11:18 AM

MandaPanda...

Joined on 05-09-2012

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I'm feeling trapped at my job due to TTC. There are many upsides to my position, but I don't agree with how the company is run, and how my position has transitioned away from marketing.

My main concern is FMLA coverage, and having to delay TTC for several months until it would kick in after LO is born. It's something DH and I have casually discussed, but I think the desire for a baby is stronger than the desire for a new job.

Congrats to my TTC/labor buddy AndyYouGoonie! Can't wait to meet baby Goonie.

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11-12-2012 at 11:31 AM

JulianneJa...

Joined on 07-13-2012

768 Posts

9,002 Points

JulianneJacks is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:47 PM

GhostMonkey:
AnnieDash93:

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

That isn't a downside, it's downright stupid and irresponsible if you have a child.

And please spell out the word you. This isn't a text and hopefully you are not 15.

My husband switched jobs and his insurance started right away. I know that many companies have a three mionth grace period before they offer employees benefits- but there are a lot of companies that offer benefits immediately. There is also COBRA and private insurance. You should factor in the cost of gap insurance when switching jobs.

Pretty soon most of us will be on Obamacare...

When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.

11-12-2012 at 11:34 AM

GhostMonke...

Joined on 03-09-2006

Bum Fuck Eqypt

50,036 Posts

81,405 Points

JulianneJacks:
GhostMonkey:
AnnieDash93:

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

That isn't a downside, it's downright stupid and irresponsible if you have a child.

And please spell out the word you. This isn't a text and hopefully you are not 15.

My husband switched jobs and his insurance started right away. I know that many companies have a three mionth grace period before they offer employees benefits- but there are a lot of companies that offer benefits immediately. There is also COBRA and private insurance. You should factor in the cost of gap insurance when switching jobs.

Pretty soon most of us will be on Obamacare...

No, if you have a job, you will continue to get it through your employer. Most people will not be on the state run exchanges created by the Affordable Care Act.

11-12-2012 at 11:46 AM

mama&baby

Joined on 03-24-2011

4,047 Posts

40,414 Points

mama&baby is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 8:04 PM

GhostMonkey:
AnnieDash93:

I am in the same boat as u, I hate my job but love the company and location (5 minutes from home ) pays great but worried that my high position won't be available after maternity leave :(.

As far as insurance there are other options(unfortunately most are just for u and your infant ). For example California has the AIM program which covers your entire pregnancy and the baby for up to a year , your income has to be of a certain amount , I don't think it's considered low income , but I'm sure you can do some research and find a similar or other program in your state.

Or my other opinion would be to stick it out for now until the baby is born, then find something more suitable for you, only downside is you won't have insurance for a few months :(

sorry not sure if I was much help, but good luck to you !

That isn't a downside, it's downright stupid and irresponsible if you have a child.

And please spell out the word you. This isn't a text and hopefully you are not 15.

Yup... no matter what you should always have insurance for your child. I am in a state where there is open season for you to sign up for your child to have his/her own health policy, without a parent as the primary. We fell into that category, and were lucky we didn't have to add LO to my COBRA policy. That would have been $900/month for the two of us. In MD, that time is ONLY January. That's it... otherwise there is a state policy for kids called MCHIP.

To give some perspective, for each appointment where LO needed shots (which is most appointments up to a year or 1.5 years) it came to about $750 without insurance. Ours just requires a copay, so definitely worth the money.

ETA: Since I didn't respond to the original post...... I have worked many crappy jobs in my life. The only thing I can really say to you is in this current economy, I wouldn't move somewhere unless my company was preparing to lay off. Just try to keep in mind how lucky you are to have employment, much less a job with any benefits

Can't decide if we're one and done or we want two! Seeing what happens... not actively TTC now, just keeping track of cycles.

11-12-2012 at 12:51 PM

MrsSmith41...

Joined on 02-10-2012

1,423 Posts

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MrsSmith414 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 7:48 PM

HA, I can relate 100%

I have been working at this crap job for 6+ years, however when your in the middle of infertility treatments and medicated cycles and happen to have GREAT insurance at the crap job then you just have to grin and bare it. I am looking but it can be frustrating having to turn down a position bc of the benifits.

IMO stick it out as long as you can, if it really is unbearable make the change NOW.. I should have made a change a year ago but I kept having that thought in the back of my head that I was going to get pregnant quickly. This didn't happen for me and you never now.

Now.. its much harder as medicated cycles cost big $$ and right now I have to pay very little OOP because of my insurance benifits.

Good luck, don't worry your not alone. One day at a time is what I try to tell myself! HUGS

Me; 28 Hubby: 29 - TTC since 5/11 - PCOS
Cycle #18-21 Clomid & Trigger & TI = BFN
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11-12-2012 at 7:18 PM

CNS1212

Joined on 09-01-2012

717 Posts

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CNS1212 is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 9:40 PM

I'm very unhappy with my job as well. In August, my financial adviser told us that when we have a baby, I can leave my job and just keep up with hours at my p/t job, since my DH has the benefits and the higher paying job. Of course, here we are 8 cycles and still not pregnant. I'm a teacher, so I'd like to give notice in the spring to give them enough time to find a replacement for the next school year. But I'm so unhappy, last night the DH told me I should just quit anyway. But like PPs have said, with the economy, it's so hard.... but I know that the stress isn't helping the TTC process... :(

Our Little Gummy Bear! Due 9/21/13

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