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11-12-2012 at 10:14 AM
velazquezk...
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How would you handle this?

My husband and I decided not to announce our baby's name nor find out the sex. The sex was a personal decision we made, and not announcing the names because of the meaning behind them and wanting it to be special.

I told a friend of mine the names because I wanted an outside opinion of how they sounded together. She has slipped up once and called the baby the girl name we chose in front of my Mom. My Mom didn't hear it, so no big deal.

My husband and I told my family the two sets of initials but didn't tell them which sex they went with. My family has been having a good time guessing the names and not knowing if they're boy or girl.

My shower was Saturday and instead of a guest book, my friend decided to do an adlibs page. At the very bottom was the initials of the baby.

MKG in pink.
CLG in blue.

My heat dropped. I enjoyed my shower and asked my sisters and Mom who did the pages and they both said my friend.

I am mad. I feel like boundaries have been overstepped. I want to call her out but my Mom insists I just drop it.

I am sad. I feel like something very important to us was taken away and she overstepped her boundaries. I don't know how to handle this!

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11-12-2012 at 10:20 AM
this decaf...
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I'm sorry your friend did that, it wasn't her information to share but I agree with your mom that you should "drop it." There will be so many ups & downs & unexpected things in the near future and in a few weeks when you have little one and give the baby a name no one will remember [or care] that your friend announced the initials. 
11-12-2012 at 10:32 AM
groundedwi...
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Once the baby is here, this mishap won't even matter to you.  Yes, it was not fair of your friend to do that but in the grand scheme of things... it is something small that I also suggest you just drop. 
 
11-12-2012 at 10:45 AM
peytons mo...
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groundedwife:
Once the baby is here, this mishap won't even matter to you.  Yes, it was not fair of your friend to do that but in the grand scheme of things... it is something small that I also suggest you just drop. 

This!  It feels like a big deal today, but tomorrow it will mean nothing when your baby is here.  Don't lose a friend over it.  It's not worth the drama.


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11-12-2012 at 10:49 AM
b0710
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peytons mommy:

groundedwife:
Once the baby is here, this mishap won't even matter to you.  Yes, it was not fair of your friend to do that but in the grand scheme of things... it is something small that I also suggest you just drop. 

This!  It feels like a big deal today, but tomorrow it will mean nothing when your baby is here.  Don't lose a friend over it.  It's not worth the drama.

I agree with both of these.  It stinks that it had to happen at all, but honestly, I don't know why people tell anyone if it's that big of a deal that no one find out.  Most people in this world are really bad at keeping secrets.  Your friend was probably trying to just personalize the shower some for you, even though you didn't want that at all.  Do you best to be the bigger person, forgive and forget. 


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11-12-2012 at 10:50 AM
MrsT1108
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Hate to tell you, but what else would you expect?  If you really didn't want any info getting out, you shouldn't have told anyone at all.

Live and learn and move on.


 
11-12-2012 at 10:52 AM
babymama12...
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I think  you should step back, this is a tiny thing in the big picture.  You shared the information, and she's human and messed up.  

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11-12-2012 at 10:55 AM
osirismama
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On a positive note~No one, including you, know who is actually in there, so no one know the name yet. And they still don't know the actual names, they just know what initials will belong to which gender. So keep positive.

My immediate family knows I am pregnant, and people at DH's work do, but no one else, so for me even though we know the sex and the name, no one else knows it, and it will still be a suprise come LO's birthdate.


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11-12-2012 at 11:24 AM
Mom2aBoy
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I'd drop it as well.  At the end of the day she shared initials, not the actual name.  I am assuming she didn't think it would be an issue or she wouldn't have done it.  She is clearly very close to you, as you shared your names with her and only her, so I'd just let it go.  I may mention that you didn't want that even getting out so that she doesn't slip up again, but I wouldn't make it a big deal.

 
11-12-2012 at 11:42 AM
mejane123
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I'm sorry she did that :-/ 

But, ever hear that expression "two can keep a secret if one of them is dead?" Sorry if that sounds creepy, but it's the truth.  

I wouldn't say anything to her.  It stinks she did that, but at least she just put the initials and not the actual names.  If she had, I would've said something.  But, seeing as the first letter is M and not something obscure like X or Z, people could spend a year trying to guess the name and not come up with it.  And FWIW, I just had my shower and two people out of 40 asked what names we'd picked out, and only one actually called the LO by his/her name.  If no one asked you yesterday what the names were, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 
11-12-2012 at 12:16 PM
SummerOH
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So she just put the initials at the bottom, not the actual names?  What's the big deal?  They're just initials.  I could think of dozens of names and combinations for each.  If she didn't put the names, then you're overreacting. 

You really need to take a deep breath and step back.  Women get WAY too caught up in trying to make everything special.  Yes, this is your baby and special to you, but trying to be all dramatic and keep people on edge is overkill.  Babies are born every. single. day.  Why all the pomp and circumstance?  I just don't get it. 


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11-12-2012 at 12:23 PM
JRomeH
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I think you should just relax. They're initials, not names. I'm sorry you're upset, but I think you're overreacting.


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11-12-2012 at 12:30 PM
discobelle
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It's just initials.  Let it go.  It's not worth making a fuss over.

Focus on the important things.


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11-12-2012 at 12:45 PM
HopeNotLos...
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Get over it.  They're initials. 


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11-12-2012 at 12:47 PM
janecanadi...
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In the grand scheme of things this is so minor that you really shouldn't bother wasting any more energy on it.   I am sure that no one at your shower really cares, nor did they learn anything earth shattering.  Once your baby arrives you will realise it wasn't worth ANY of the attention you paid to this.  If it were me I would have joked around with her at the shower about it, said "way to go", fake punched her in the arm, and then moved on.


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11-12-2012 at 1:03 PM
RockyTopVo...
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SummerOH:

 Yes, this is your baby and special to you, but trying to be all dramatic and keep people on edge is overkill.  Babies are born every. single. day.  Why all the pomp and circumstance?  I just don't get it. 

Yes 


 
11-12-2012 at 1:05 PM
FreyaWin23...
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SummerOH:

So she just put the initials at the bottom, not the actual names?  What's the big deal?  They're just initials.  I could think of dozens of names and combinations for each.  If she didn't put the names, then you're overreacting. 

You really need to take a deep breath and step back.  Women get WAY too caught up in trying to make everything special.  Yes, this is your baby and special to you, but trying to be all dramatic and keep people on edge is overkill.  Babies are born every. single. day.  Why all the pomp and circumstance?  I just don't get it. 

I agree with all of this. Nothing "special" has been taken from you here. 


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11-12-2012 at 1:11 PM
Chocodoxie...
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MrsT1108:

Hate to tell you, but what else would you expect?  If you really didn't want any info getting out, you shouldn't have told anyone at all.

Live and learn and move on.

This. I don't mean to be harsh here, but there are so many posts that follow the "we only told.... and they told... and I am so mad" logic. Don't tell anyone!  What did you think would happen? Clearly your friend didn't think that telling the initials was a big deal since that info was shared between family members as well as herself. So what would you like to hear? Darn her for throwing you a shower on her own dime and making it personal to you! What an evil woman. 

Get over it.  


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11-12-2012 at 1:50 PM
BBS!
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No one cares as much as the parents what the baby's name or initials are! She gave nothing away and just tried to have something fun at the shower! I think you are really over-reacting here. Your friend threw you a shower and you want to get mad bc she gave initials away!!! Believe me, no one cared about that!!! All the guests probably already forgot what they were anyway!
 
11-12-2012 at 2:07 PM
avacek1
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Please get over it and move on.
 
11-12-2012 at 2:18 PM
ridesbutto...
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Team Mom.

There's nothing to handle.

Move on.


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11-12-2012 at 2:22 PM
mj0011
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Your friend helped throw your shower and this is what you focus on?

 
11-12-2012 at 3:04 PM
chapski
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velazquezk1:
My husband and I decided not to announce our baby's name nor find out the sex. The sex was a personal decision we made, and not announcing the names because of the meaning behind them and wanting it to be special. I told a friend of mine the names because I wanted an outside opinion of how they sounded together. She has slipped up once and called the baby the girl name we chose in front of my Mom. My Mom didn't hear it, so no big deal. My husband and I told my family the two sets of initials but didn't tell them which sex they went with. My family has been having a good time guessing the names and not knowing if they're boy or girl. My shower was Saturday and instead of a guest book, my friend decided to do an adlibs page. At the very bottom was the initials of the baby. MKG in pink. CLG in blue. My heat dropped. I enjoyed my shower and asked my sisters and Mom who did the pages and they both said my friend. I am mad. I feel like boundaries have been overstepped. I want to call her out but my Mom insists I just drop it. I am sad. I feel like something very important to us was taken away and she overstepped her boundaries. I don't know how to handle this!

"adlibs page" a what?

I'm pretty sure you were playing with fire by even telling people the initials. I understand wanting to keep the name a secret (and the sex) but people can't keep all your rules straight. Your friend probably assumed initals were ok, after all you already told the family the initals, maybe she didn't get that you didn't tell which initials went to which gender....

Regardless, to answer your question, "how would you handle this?"
Honestly, I would probably "joke about it" like next time she's over tell her you almost died when you saw the initials (in a very, "lol..." way)

ETA: that's how I think you should handle this... I wouldn't be in this spot. Not to be snarky. Baby names and sex secrets are annoying. We kept everything a secret with DS and SIL would NOT stop guessing. Like every time I saw her for 20 mins straight she would just say names to me... It was annoying. Finally she guessed it when I wasn't there (to DH) and he told her she was right. She was "SO HAPPY" she guessed... Dude, you said 8,956 names, yes, you finally guessed it!
With DD we just told everyone. I didn't want the stress of not knowing/secrets and stuff...

 
11-12-2012 at 4:19 PM
Magenta728
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You're actually mad about that?

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11-12-2012 at 4:27 PM
mlangs
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How would I handle it... lets see...

Like an adult. Realize that like all the other people have stated if this is the worst thing that has happened to you, you have it made and I sure wish I had your easy street life.

 

We have managed to keep our LO's name a secret... wait... we still haven't decided yet... that's right. Thats why no one knows... not even us.

 
11-12-2012 at 7:28 PM
mandilouwh...
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i understand and we're all just hormonal too. My sister just got the shower pics to me and most of the ones of me opening presents are crotch shots up my dress (n she was sitting on the floor) after I cried. and found some usable one of little kids blocking my lap while I opened stuff. I joking told her but realize I can crop them and in the end its not a big deal. In the end I think you'll realize it will be ok
 
11-12-2012 at 8:44 PM
Kingston54
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MrsT1108:

Hate to tell you, but what else would you expect?  If you really didn't want any info getting out, you shouldn't have told anyone at all.

Live and learn and move on.

Agreed - now you know if you really want to keep something a secret - don't tell anyone at all!  As others have said, it really won't matter in the long run.


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11-13-2012 at 1:15 AM
mrstorrest...
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SummerOH:

So she just put the initials at the bottom, not the actual names?  What's the big deal?  They're just initials.  I could think of dozens of names and combinations for each.  If she didn't put the names, then you're overreacting. 

You really need to take a deep breath and step back.  Women get WAY too caught up in trying to make everything special.  Yes, this is your baby and special to you, but trying to be all dramatic and keep people on edge is overkill.  Babies are born every. single. day.  Why all the pomp and circumstance?  I just don't get it. 

So so so so agree!


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11-13-2012 at 2:06 AM
RissKay
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I'm in the "relax" boat on this one. This whole set up you have going seems to be REALLY in depth for a couple of baby names. It sounds like it's possible your friend didn't intentionally "overstep" any bounds; it may just have been an accident. I can see why you're upset, but honestly, the more complex of a set up you have, the easier it is for it to fall apart. 

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