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11-12-2012 at 11:21 AM
rachellaur...
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Honoring Family Members

We are having such a hard time with a name this time! Our first daughter, Ella Ivy, is named after my husbands grandmother, Ethel. In Jewish tradition, you often use the first initial of the family member's name. Our second daughter will be named after my dad's parents. My dad told me how much this means to him since most likely no other future children will be named after his parents. (We have a very small family) It obviously means a lot to me, too. 

We have been looking for M or J names, which should be easy, but my husband and I have been going around in circles for months, and cannot agree on a name we love. I love Jordana, but he isnt sold. He loves Jordyn, and I like it- dont know if I would go so far to say I love it.

I told my dad we have been having a bit of trouble finding a name we both love, and I mentioned the possibility of using letters other than M or J for our daughter. Some Jewish parents also honor their family members by giving the child the family member's Hebrew name (there is a baby naming ceremony when the child is given their Hebrew name, but a Hebrew name really wouldnt be a part of their every day life). My dad said that his first choice would be for us to use a M or J name, but he completely understands that we want to pick a name we love. He said he would be perfectly fine if we instead name our second daughter whatever we want, and give her a Hebrew name after his parents.

I am so torn. I really want to honor my grandparents, and I know using an M or J name would be the best way to do it, but I also want to choose a name we love. I would love to hear any of your thoughts as I am ridden with guilt and dont know what to do!!!!!
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11-12-2012 at 11:26 AM
Crys1925
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It sounds like a really nice tradition. There are so many names out there that I'm sure you can find one that you like beginning with one of those letters. I'm a big fan of alliteration, so I had to learn to like F names. J and M are easier!
 
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11-12-2012 at 11:27 AM
Helenahhan...
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Have you found any M or J names that you and your husband like?  If yes, I would try to go that route first.

 

If not, I am sure your dad will be fine with whatever you choose.

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11-12-2012 at 11:28 AM
rachellaur...
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rachellaura86 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie

Thats the crazy thing. We really havent found M or J names we love. There have been a few we like.... just not love.

In discussing names with other letters, we have found quite a few we both love. 
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11-12-2012 at 11:32 AM
AEN1029
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Don't feel guilty! I think it's nice that you want to honor your family, but picking a name you love is important, too. Here are some M and J names that I like, not sure if you will like any of them, but here they are.

Mackenzie, Melanie, Madeline, Makenna, Marissa, Mia, Myla, Mila (meela), McKayla

Julianna/Julia/Julianne, Joelle, Jolene, Jade, Jada, Jocelyn, Justine/Justina, Jenna, Jamie, Jillian
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11-12-2012 at 11:50 AM
BlindysWif...
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Certainly there must be an M or J name you can find that you both love. 

 Margaret, Margo, Maggie, Matilda, Millie, Mila, Josephine, Julia, Johanna, Joy, Jane, June, Maeve, Moira, Molly, 

Clearly I'm better at thinking of M names than J names. 
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11-12-2012 at 11:53 AM
GWUAlum
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Jaylyn or however you wanted to spell it. Mackenzie...
 
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11-12-2012 at 11:54 AM
rachellaur...
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Thank you for the suggestions! I feel like I have poured over every baby name website looking for an M or J name I love!! It hasn't happened......it is crazy, you would think we could agree on something, it's not like we are working with the letter Q!
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11-12-2012 at 11:56 AM
AEN1029
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My best friend's name is Johnna. I've always loved it.
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11-12-2012 at 11:56 AM
clizh
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I agree with AEN about not feeling guilty, it's very important that you love the name you give your child... you'll be calling her it for the rest of your life and she will be known by it forever! It's wonderful that you're trying to find a name that follows tradition but it's also great that there is another route to still honor your family. The fact that your dad is supportive of both paths is great!

My DD's name is Maya :) her mn is Marie - what about using a name starting with a different letter but one where the short hand version would start with an M or J, like Amanda/Mandy for example. 

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11-12-2012 at 11:57 AM
kayjay10
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AEN1029:

Don't feel guilty! I think it's nice that you want to honor your family, but picking a name you love is important, too.

This!  If you find an M or J name that you love, great!  If not, don't beat yourself up about it.  Sounds like your dad is fine with it too.  Maybe pick the top three M & J names that you like, use each for a week, and see if they grow on you to the point you love them.  If not, go with another name you both love.
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11-12-2012 at 12:10 PM
rpalen29
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maybe you could honor with a non jewish name, but have the M or J as the first letter. If you can't decide, maybe you could honor them by picking a name that meant something to them... maybe a name in a song, a flower or a bird.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-names-inspired-by-popular-songs_10305357.bc#articlesection2

rose, iris, robin, wren, pheobe, piper, ect.  
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11-12-2012 at 12:17 PM
AnnieBN
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kayjay10:
This!  If you find an M or J name that you love, great!  If not, don't beat yourself up about it.  Sounds like your dad is fine with it too.  Maybe pick the top three M & J names that you like, use each for a week, and see if they grow on you to the point you love them.  If not, go with another name you both love.

Kayjay offered a great suggestion here! Please don't feel guilty, you are doing the best you and can. Whether or not you use a name that starts with an M or  J, you will be honoring them by using one of their Hebrew names. What a pretty way to honor important people in your life!


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11-12-2012 at 1:06 PM
fitzpember...
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I am not familiar with Jewish naming traditions, so I have no idea if this would be allowed or not, but can you do an M or J name for the middle name instead?  Then you could pick a name you love (without limitations) for the first name, but still honor your grandparents and dad with the middle name?
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11-12-2012 at 1:10 PM
rachellaur...
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rachellaura86 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie
We did consider using the middle name in some way but it wouldnt be a significant. Our best options would be using an M or J, or using the Hebrew name.
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11-12-2012 at 1:58 PM
snowflake9...
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I'd keep looking for M and J names since you've got quite a bit of time before the baby arrives.  Here are some M and J names I think of.  Good luck :)

Molly, Madeline, Meredith, Moira, Margaret, Malia, Melissa, Morgan, Millicent (Millie), Mae, Megan, Mia, Maureen.

Jillian, Julia, Juliet, Josephine (Josie), Jane, Jessica, Jewel.

Good luck :)

 
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11-12-2012 at 2:32 PM
blu-eyedwi...
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rachellaura86:
We did consider using the middle name in some way but it wouldnt be a significant. Our best options would be using an M or J, or using the Hebrew name.

You're entitled to your feeling, but I don't know that I agree with you on the significance.  In our family, rather than using the first initial, we've honored deceased family members by using their actual name as the middle name.  It still follows "tradition" since we're technically using the same first letter, but it holds so much more import than just using a first letter or even using the Hebrew name (which we've also done: my son's middle name is/was my father's name and his Hebrew name is/was my father's Hebrew name).  So my middle name is/was my grandmother's first name and my brother's middle name is/was my grandfather's first name.  I love the connection I have to a wonderful strong woman I never met and I love that my middle name isn't just something that "sounded pretty" to my parents.
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11-12-2012 at 2:44 PM
rachellaur...
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Thanks for your thoughts blu-eyed wife! That is awesome that names in your family have such a strong meaning. I guess I didn't phrase myself correctly.... Because in talks with my dad, I did mention using their actual name as a middle name. He thought it was more meaningful to use an M or J name, or Hebrew name. I guess it's really just a matter of opinion! I have to say, I am glad we do have some different options. Thanks for sharing!
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11-12-2012 at 2:53 PM
rachellaur...
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I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts, i really appreciate it! My hubby and I were just talking and came up with an idea we both like. We are thinking of using one of the name we love as a first name that is a B name. Using an M name as a middle name, which would actually honor 2 of our grandfathers. And then using my grandmother's Hebrew name. So of significant all around, and we could still choose a first name we love. Kind of complicated, but I think I'm happy with this idea! (for now! :))
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11-12-2012 at 3:39 PM
MissHoppy
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We had a hard time with this too...but in the end, we decided it was more important to us to choose a name with meaning and tradition...and we were able to come across names with the letters we wanted to use that we both like (we also had J for a girl!).

I will second what PP said -- to try use a name for a week or so and see how it feels.  I think this helped us a lot.  

My only other advice is to just not discuss it with your dad.  Our parents know we're planning on naming the baby after our grandparents...but not which grandparents and not which names.  I didn't really want their opinions, or pressure.

The other option (which may be out there for your dad...) is to use a name with the same meaning.  For example...Penina means pearl, as does Margaret.   
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