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11-14-2012 at 8:30 AM
roadrunner...
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roadrunner4 is not online. Last active: 05-12-2013, 12:37 PMNewbie

Where to have baby shower?

Hi ladies,

About 2 years ago we moved to another state for work reasons and now live ~2 or more hours from our family and friends.  My Mom is hosting my baby shower and gave me the option of having it in my current state or back home where most people are.  I want to make things easy on my guests and hope to make it more likely they can attend so I said we can have it in my old hometown..  This means just my DH and I plus about 4 friends from here will need to travel.  That makes more sense to me.  We would be staying with my family too, so we wouldn't be turning around in one day (like our guests would likely be). 

My question is, what do you think or what have you done in a similar situation?  I would love to stay put and have everyone come to me being that I'll be almost 33 weeks at that point, but I also want to do what makes sense.  Personally my DH and I travel at least 2 hours now to most things we go to now, so it would be a no-brainer for us if the situation were reversed.  DH is leaving it up to me, but thinks we should have it here to make it more comfortable for me bc it's my shower after all and if they care enough, they will make the drive.  I also need to check with my Dr that she doesn't have any issue with me traveling that late in pregnancy.  I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a problem?  It's only 2 hours one way.  

Thanks in advance!

 
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11-14-2012 at 8:36 AM
MelRC117
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Honestly I don't think traveling 2 hours is that big of a deal.  It would have to depend how close I am to you to travel a total of 4 hours for a baby shower that last 3 hours, tops.  It would be a whole day thing and honestly?  I don't think baby showers, or any shower, is really that important to attend.  I guess if you can easily travel, I wouldn't make all my guests travel two hours instead of just having to have me, DH, and a couple of friends if they choose to go travel.  The "comfortable" thing I don't think really makes a difference, I don't think riding in a car for a couple hours is that big of a deal.  Laboring in a car for 2 hours? Yeah that would be no fun, however you would be only 33 weeks at that point. 
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11-14-2012 at 8:48 AM
EastCoastB...
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I lvoe how you go from "this makes sense to me" to "if they care, they'll come".  Your 2 paragraphs are complete opposites of one another.

To what the PP said - showers are not "all that".  If you want people to come and give you gifts and spend time with you, then yes, you should go to them.

This isn't about "if they care".  People are busy and have busy lives and basically expecting all your friends and family to give up 7 hours (minimum) of their day to come to a shower really comes across as selfish on your part.  They are spending money on you and taking time out of their lives to be with you.  You really can't make it a little easier on them?

2 hours is NOT that far to travel at "almost" 33 weeks. 

Again - it's a shower.  A gift giving event. It is NOT on par w/ a wedding, a baptism, etc.  While I have many friends that I care a lot about, there are far fewer people in my life that I'd travel 4 hours to attend a 2-3 hour shower. 

 
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11-14-2012 at 8:50 AM
TX-Bride
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Has anyone offered to throw you a shower in your current city? I think the distance would warrant having 2 showers. I personally would only travel for a shower for my best friend, other close friends I will send a gift but RSVP that I would not be going.
 
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11-14-2012 at 8:58 AM
roadrunner...
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roadrunner4 is not online. Last active: 05-12-2013, 12:37 PMNewbie

Thanks for the comments.

My two conflicting paragraphs are due to the conflicting opinions of myself vs DH.  He said if they care they'll come.  Sorry if I was misleading.  

I did have a friend locally who asked about if I was having a shower and she would have done it for me if I wasn't having one planned.  I already spoke with them to let them know where the shower will be for planning purposes, and I completely understand if they can't make it.

This is my first pregnancy so that's why I'm clueless about the traveling.  I didn't think it was a big deal to travel either and would rather make it more convenient on my guests.  I have traveled 2 hours for a 3-4 hour event and then 2 hours home..but again that's just me.  If I want to see my friends/family these days and not miss out, we have to do that.  My feeling from the start was to have it in my old hometown and have started the planning with my Mom already.  I was just posing the question to see if I should consider the alternative. 

Thanks again for your responses.

 
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11-14-2012 at 9:17 AM
EastCoastB...
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Ok.- your update makes more sense!  :)

Like I said, though, I find the idea of "if they care, they'll come" as REALLY unfair logic.  "Life is busy" is generic, but yet.... true.  I look at my own situation - 2 out of every 4 weekends my DH is working.  If I were invited to a shower 2 hours away on a weekend he's working - I'd either have to find someone to watch my DS for over 7 hours, or I'd have to bring  him (which really wouldn't be fun), OR I wouldn't be able to come.

Or on the flip side, the weekends DH is off, we have booked out WEEKS in advance.  Even if I was free during the day, if we have plans in the evening, taking a 4 hour round trip for a shower probably wouldn't be possible w/ other plans we already have.

It's not about "caring".  It's about logistics.  If you all want people to be able to easily come, spend time with you, and give you gifts, the easier you make it on them, the better.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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11-14-2012 at 11:28 AM
Allycat11
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I think travelling 2 hours at 33 weeks is no big deal at all (assuming you do not have a high risk pregnancy).  I will be just shy of 33 weeks at Thanksgiving and will be travelling 4 hours away, a few days later I will be travelling around 2 hours away for my shower.

  Personally, I would rather have the shower where most of the guests are but it really is up to you. 

 

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11-14-2012 at 11:30 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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EastCoastBride:
I lvoe how you go from "this makes sense to me" to "if they care, they'll come".nbsp; Your 2 paragraphs are complete opposites of one another.
To what the PP said showers are not "all that".nbsp; If you want people to come and give you gifts and spend time with you, then yes, you should go to them.
This isn't about "if they care".nbsp; People are busy and have busy lives and basically expecting all your friends and family to give up 7 hours minimum of their day to come to a shower really comes across as selfish on your part.nbsp; They are spending money on you and taking time out of their lives to be with you.nbsp; You really can't make it a little easier on them?
2 hours is NOT that far to travel at "almost" 33 weeks.nbsp;
Again it's a shower.nbsp; A gift giving event. It is NOT on par w/ a wedding, a baptism, etc.nbsp; While I have many friends that I care a lot about, there are far fewer people in my life that I'd travel 4 hours to attend a 23 hour shower.nbsp;
nbsp;


Agree with this. The world does not revolve around your shower.
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11-14-2012 at 12:15 PM
526SadieSa...
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I see both sides, especially how you'll have to cart presents back to your house and essentially have to pack them into cars and unpack them twice (once after the shower and then again when you get back home) unless you have access to a big minivan or something they can safely be in overnight - you said you were going to stay in your hometown at least one night, right? 

If you're not high risk, I see no reason not to travel to your hometown for the shower.  If you decide to have it where you currently live, please do not think that the people who do not attend don't care about you and aren't excited for you.  That's just ridiculous. 
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11-14-2012 at 3:32 PM
lindseylov...
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I don't think driving 2 hours is a big deal...my parents live 3 hours from us & we will be going there for the shower.
I say make it easier on your guests. At 33 weeks, you will be uncomfortable no matter where you are & 2 hours isn't that long of a drive. If you were 39 weeks or something like that, maybe it would be a different story.
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11-16-2012 at 9:06 PM
rhubarb123
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I don't see any reason not to have it where it would be easiest for your guests.  I had my shower (family and friends) at my home hosted by my cousin.  I lived approx. 2-3 hours from my family and most of DH's family/friends were up to 5 hours away.  I was not in the middle...but it would have been a 7-8 hour drive for either one to go to the other city.  My house was the logical place.  It did make it nice I didn't have to transport anything...but in your case...with it being just a couple of hours I would do your guests a favor.  I doubt your doctor would have a concern at 33 weeks (unless you have medical complications).  I flew when I was 34 wks from MI to FL (and I did have compromised pregnancies).  My doctor didn't blink an eyelash.
 
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