Ok.- your update makes more sense! :)
Like I said, though, I find the idea of "if they care, they'll come" as REALLY unfair logic. "Life is busy" is generic, but yet.... true. I look at my own situation - 2 out of every 4 weekends my DH is working. If I were invited to a shower 2 hours away on a weekend he's working - I'd either have to find someone to watch my DS for over 7 hours, or I'd have to bring him (which really wouldn't be fun), OR I wouldn't be able to come.
Or on the flip side, the weekends DH is off, we have booked out WEEKS in advance. Even if I was free during the day, if we have plans in the evening, taking a 4 hour round trip for a shower probably wouldn't be possible w/ other plans we already have.
It's not about "caring". It's about logistics. If you all want people to be able to easily come, spend time with you, and give you gifts, the easier you make it on them, the better.