Hey so sorry you're dealing with this. I completely understand. We have done 2 DIUIs and we are in the middle of IVF with DS. It's incredibly painful. It's also normal to feel hopeful but sad, but I promise it does get easier.
Initially I was very against using DS because it was so painful to think I couldn't give my husband a bio child. The other night he thanked me for giving us a chance at having children together. Know that this is normal and it will get better. Also, know that you are not alone. Best of luck.