Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

All Boards > Infertility

This thread is no longer active. See our most recent posts and join!
11-14-2012 at 1:28 PM
laurag1986
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-26-2010
78 Posts
1,446 Points
laurag1986 is not online. Last active: 06-07-2013, 9:17 PMNewbie

Mixed feelings

I just need to vent. Even though Im super excited to start this crazy rollercoster. I am sad today. Me and my DH chose our sperm doner and order today so they are on route. I know that this should be a happy time yet Im sad because I would do anything to have my hubbys genitic child. I know I should feel blessed because at least we can have a child yet I still feel a bit sad. Thanks for letting me vent

Trying to Conceive since Aug 2011
Diagnosed with severe male factor IF we got no swimmers
First dIUI Dec 7 2012 = BFN
Second dIUI Jan 9 2013 = BFN
Third dIUI with clomid 50mg Feb 5 2013 = BFN
Forth dIUI with clomid 100mg dIUI March 8 2013 = BFN
Taking a break to figure things out.  
11-14-2012 at 1:35 PM
arbutusbri...
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-02-2004
the OC
429 Posts
2,123 Points
arbutusbride is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:13 PMNewbie
You have every right to vent and have those feelings. We are taught from an early age that our children will be a genetic mash up between mom and dad. It's sad to find out that what we know is different from reality.

Hopefully the sperm will be powerful and you will have a child that you will love more than life itself. Good luck.
We have moved on after IF treatments to domestic infant adoption. While we wait my dog is my surrogate baby. Bumping from Portland, OR.  
11-14-2012 at 1:57 PM
melkel559
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-17-2008
1,711 Posts
17,161 Points
melkel559 is not online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 6:21 AMBronze
You have every right to vent. IF sucks and MFI is awful. If this IVF doesn't work, dIUI is likely our next step. Hugs to you and at the same time, congrats in accomplishing this next step toward starting a family.
TTC since June 2011
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
PAIF & SAIF always welcome
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
BabyFruit Ticker 
11-14-2012 at 2:08 PM
Km672
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-02-2012
503 Posts
4,140 Points
Km672 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 5:48 PMBronze
Hey so sorry you're dealing with this. I completely understand. We have done 2 DIUIs and we are in the middle of IVF with DS. It's incredibly painful. It's also normal to feel hopeful but sad, but I promise it does get easier.
Initially I was very against using DS because it was so painful to think I couldn't give my husband a bio child. The other night he thanked me for giving us a chance at having children together. Know that this is normal and it will get better. Also, know that you are not alone. Best of luck.
Me (31) DOR/ MH (34) azoo/high DFI TTC#1 since 2009 IVF #1 cancelled dt poor response/ IVF #2 & #3: BFFN/ Natural Surprise BFP, early m/c -endometrial bx & methotrexate administered/ IVF#4:nothing to transfer/ DS IUI#1 BFN/ DS IUI#2 BFN/ IVF#5 (1st w/ DS):another BFFN/ Currently planning on DE and DS cycle Summer 2013. This has to be it- 
11-14-2012 at 2:18 PM
Sophistiki...
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-06-2012
689 Posts
3,840 Points
Sophistikitty is not online. Last active: 06-17-2013, 6:51 PMBronze

I am so sorry you are having a tough day :(   


(((Hugs)))  
TTC #1
Dx = AMA/DOR, hypothyroid, submucosal fibroid, adenomyosis, mild MFI
IUI#1-3 = BFN
IVF #1 (EPP Antagonist); 3R, 2M, 1F; 3dt of one 12-cell embryo = BFN
IVF #2 (EPP MDLF); 6R, 4M, 3F; 3dt of 1-7 cell, 1-8 cell & 1-10 cell = BFP; confirmed C/P @ 4w2d
Genetic carrier screening negative (CF, Fragile X, SMA, Tay Sachs)
Karyotyping, autoimmune & thrombophilia panels all normal
IVF#3 (DE); 13R, 12M, 8F; 5dt of two “excellent quality” blasts = BFP
Beta#1 = 203, Beta #2 = 81, Beta #3 = 17; confirmed C/P @ 5w1d
Two frosties left
*PAIF/SAIF welcome*  
11-14-2012 at 7:54 PM
SuzanneJes...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-24-2009
14th floor overlooking the park!
255 Posts
3,405 Points
SuzanneJesse is not online. Last active: 12-04-2012, 7:57 PMNewbie
Sorry you're having a tough time.  It's totally normal to feel sad.  We're using DE so our (hopefully) bio child will not have my DNA, but it will have my DH and we'll get to experience (hopefully) being pregnant.  It will still be your bio child.  

Me: now over 40, careerwoman; DH: 34 love of my life
Blood work, anatomy and his SA = in fine shape say drs
Our journey so far:
7/09: BFP m/c 6w s/e/p, 2 rounds methotrexate
4/10 BFP m/c 6w D&C..it was a boy :(
6/10-2/11 TTC naturally, BFNs
3/11: Clomid cycle, BFN
4/11-9/11 TTC naturally, BFNs
10/11 IUI #1 BFN
Have to breathe over next few months.
Feb 2012: IVF #1, max stims, only 3 retrieved, all fertilized, only 1 transferred on Day 3. BFN.
RE says move to DE. DE it is.
DE IVF #1 - 10/29: 12 eggs retrieved, 10 fert. 11/2: Day5 transfer 2 'perfect' blasts. 4 blasts on ice. 11/11: Beta #1 at 9dp5dt = 72.7 11/13: Beta #2 at 11dp5dt: 30.3 c/p :( WTF appt 11/27: RE a little dumbfounded. Checking Thyroid panel again, Hysterogram as well; FET most likely in Jan. '13.have reconsidered a parallel path of adoption.
PAIF&SAIF always welcome
 
11-15-2012 at 12:29 AM
laurag1986
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-26-2010
78 Posts
1,446 Points
laurag1986 is not online. Last active: 06-07-2013, 9:17 PMNewbie
Thanks girls! It felt better after venting :)

Trying to Conceive since Aug 2011
Diagnosed with severe male factor IF we got no swimmers
First dIUI Dec 7 2012 = BFN
Second dIUI Jan 9 2013 = BFN
Third dIUI with clomid 50mg Feb 5 2013 = BFN
Forth dIUI with clomid 100mg dIUI March 8 2013 = BFN
Taking a break to figure things out.  
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board