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11-14-2012 at 3:11 PM
Laur7
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Laur7 is not online. Last active: 01-29-2013, 12:32 PMNewbie

Feeling guilty

Has anyone been ebfing and then decided it wasn't for them, and switched to formula? I have been ebfing my LO for almost 4 weeks now, and I feel so guilty admitting that I'm not in love with breastfeeding. I feel like it's more of a stress/burden in my life that prevents me from enjoying my LO as much as possible. Does this sound silly? How do you deal with the guilt? I keep wondering if I should stick it out a few more weeks to see if my feelings change...

The pediatrician recommended giving him a bottle of formula a day, to give me a break and to let my husband feed him. I'm worried the formula won't agree with him..

 
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11-14-2012 at 3:18 PM
anonsouthe...
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I don't think you should feel guilty at all but I would say that if you can try to make it to the three months mark and reevaluate then.  Right now you have a ton of after birth hormones flooding your system, you are adjusting to motherhood, and this is the. Hardest time in ones nursing relationship.  It honestly gets easier and in the long run is easier than formula.  So if you can I'd wait a few more weeks and then decide.
 
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11-14-2012 at 3:23 PM
Heavenisap...
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Heavenisaplace is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 3:17 PMBronze
The first couple months are the hardest from what I have read. It is exhausting and time consuming but the studies are so clear on the benefits that I personally am going to just push through it. Maybe wait a little longer, you don't want any regrets.
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11-14-2012 at 3:43 PM
Ladiebug71...
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I felt like it took a solid 6 if not 8 weeks to feel like we really had breastfeeding down.  There are times when it is hard, a lot harder than people talk about.  It may help to pump now and then so someone else can give a bottle while you are away, and that will allow you to have some time to yourself every now and again.

Now I really treasure our breastfeeding time together.  It really makes me sit down and take a time out, and just focus on LO.  It is a special relationship that only he and I have.  It also helped when LO got more efficient and could eat in 20-30 minutes instead of 30-45.
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12  
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11-14-2012 at 3:51 PM
tch81
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I had the same issue! Hated nursing! I felt like that's all I did from sun up to sun down.  I never had time for my little girl. I was so stressed because i wasnt producing enough milk and I cried all the time. I finally decided to give it up and was so relieved when I did.  I felt guilty & disappointed for a while, but that subsided.  

You have to do what's right for you and your LO.  If you're really struggling with it, then maybe its not for you.  You don't want to look back on this time and not have good memories.
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11-14-2012 at 4:41 PM
kjskjs
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If it's not for you then it's not for you. Don't let it make you feel guilty. Things stacked against me and I had to go to EFF and at first it did suck and I felt bad and then I realized the perks and the fact that it was out of my control and it was more stress than I needed. I would do like your pedi told you and just try one bottle to give you a break and see how you feel from there. Try a formula and most likely your LO will do fine but all else fails you could give BM and try another formula later.
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11-14-2012 at 4:50 PM
Jams1002
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I think PPs are right. I'm at 6 weeks now and I love breastfeeding now. That first month was very tough though. Ultimately it is your choice and you know yourself best but I would really encourage sticking it out just a little longer to see if things change.

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11-14-2012 at 5:43 PM
rnbeth477
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Heavenisaplace:
The first couple months are the hardest from what I have read. It is exhausting and time consuming but the studies are so clear on the benefits that I personally am going to just push through it. Maybe wait a little longer, you don't want any regrets.


I agree with the pp. The first few months are rough, but it gets so much better. With DS, once he was on a schedule I found it really simple. I ended up loving it and it was my special time with him once he was an older baby. I bf my DS until a little over a year.

This time around with DD it's so much easier.

Hang in there! It will get better and if you choose it's not for you, it's okay. Most of us had mothers who didn't bf and we're just fine.
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11-15-2012 at 12:49 AM
KLeighM23
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KLeighM23 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 12:23 PMNewbie

Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty. It's such a personal decision. My little guy would fall asleep on the boob from day 1. He didn't do his "job" when he was latched, so in return I couldn't do mine and my milk supply wasn't increasing. Then trying to pump 6 times a day wasn't realistic, my hands weren't that free. I never made more than an ounce of BM. Now he's on formula and so much haplpier, he still falls asleep on the bottle :)

 I planned to BF for 3 months, but ended up stopping after the first month, however much BM you give your baby is better than none at all. You have to do what's right for you and baby.

(PS: I was a FF baby from 6 weeks on and turned out just fine - healthy, hardly ever sick and in all honors classes in school...just saying lol!  Hope that helps!)
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11-15-2012 at 10:18 AM
buffyverrb...
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buffyverrban1 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 9:34 PMNewbie

Since you chose to BF, I assume that you initially wanted it, so my advice is based on that. 

BFing in the beginning is SO HARD. People don't prepare you enough for that. I would keep going for another 2-3 weeks. Around 6-8 weeks things just magically click and it's so easy.

If in a couple weeks you still don't like it, then go to formula. It's better that you enjoy your time with him, than not.  

 
 
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11-15-2012 at 3:11 PM
Jbleigh
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Jbleigh is not online. Last active: 04-09-2013, 5:53 PMNewbie
buffyverrban1:

Since you chose to BF, I assume that you initially wanted it, so my advice is based on that. 

BFing in the beginning is SO HARD. People don't prepare you enough for that. I would keep going for another 2-3 weeks. Around 6-8 weeks things just magically click and it's so easy.

If in a couple weeks you still don't like it, then go to formula. It's better that you enjoy your time with him, than not.  

 

This.

Although I would change one part of the previous statement. BFing the first month is HELL. If you really want it, hang on by your fingernails for another couple weeks. It does get easier. (it might get harder again, I don't know, this is where I am.) 

Good luck, whichever path you choose. 

 
 
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11-15-2012 at 8:18 PM
candacelei...
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I made it a month. I felt the same way you feel now, I was stressed and tired and was barely producing anything. DS would scream and cry and every feeding was a huge production. He had horrible nipple confusion because he was in the NICU for a week after birth and they gave him a bottle to help his low blood sugar and a pacifier so unfortunately we got home and the cards were already stacked against us. He fought the latch for at least a half hour at every feeding then would fall asleep at the breast. We finally figured out that I wasnt producing enough by trying a bottle after he had been on each boob for 20 minutes and then still ate 3 ounces of formula. For me, the stress and tears were just too much. Since he has been EFF he is happy and gaining weight and a joy to be around.
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