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11-15-2012 at 6:14 PM
blu-eyedwi...
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Naming girls with boys' names - A testimonial

For mobile users: Naming girls with boys' names - A testimonial

Last night a bunch of friends and I went out for dinner.  We all paid with cards (I know, we're obnoxious) so our waitress was reading out our names as she handed us our receipts.  

After she said "You guys all have such nice, normal names.  I'm jealous.  I'm a Bobby and I hate it."

I asked if it was short for Roberta and she said "No.  I was the last child in my family, I have 3 older sisters.  My parents really wanted a boy.  I was supposed to be Robert, but this was back in the 70s when they didn't have ultrasounds to determine the sex.  So when I was born a girl, they decided to give me a boy's name anyway.  I hate it and wish I had a girl's name."

 

Just some food for thought.  Since I know a lot of us point out the argument (not just in regards to boy/girl names) about how your child will feel about their name.
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11-15-2012 at 6:26 PM
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11-15-2012 at 6:26 PM
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I had a friend named Jordan growing up and she hated her name bc it was a "boys" name.

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11-15-2012 at 6:28 PM
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If I was her, I wouldn't be bummed about the name Bobby as much as I would be bummed that I turned out a girl when my parents wanted a boy....and they used their boy name they had picked out for the boy they never got.
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11-15-2012 at 6:34 PM
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Elsa1984:
If I was her, I wouldn't be bummed about the name Bobby as much as I would be bummed that I turned out a girl when my parents wanted a boy....and they used their boy name they had picked out for the boy they never got.

This! I agree Bobby isn't good for a girl but there are true unisex names that people association with either boy or girl. My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it! t We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!
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11-15-2012 at 6:40 PM
blu-eyedwi...
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Iloveshanej:

Elsa1984:
If I was her, I wouldn't be bummed about the name Bobby as much as I would be bummed that I turned out a girl when my parents wanted a boy....and they used their boy name they had picked out for the boy they never got.

This! I agree Bobby isn't good for a girl but there are true unisex names that people association with either boy or girl. My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it! t We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!

What's interesting to me, is that Bobby was a pretty common nickname for Barbabas and Robertas for a long period of time.  Long enough where I'm sure it was considered unisex by many.  That's one of the reasons I asked her if it was short for Roberta.

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11-15-2012 at 6:50 PM
Iloveshane...
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blu-eyedwife:
Iloveshanej:

Elsa1984:
If I was her, I wouldn't be bummed about the name Bobby as much as I would be bummed that I turned out a girl when my parents wanted a boy....and they used their boy name they had picked out for the boy they never got.

This! I agree Bobby isn't good for a girl but there are true unisex names that people association with either boy or girl. My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it! t We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!

What's interesting to me, is that Bobby was a pretty common nickname for Barbabas and Robertas for a long period of time.  Long enough where I'm sure it was considered unisex by many.  That's one of the reasons I asked her if it was short for Roberta.

I could see that. If it was a NN for Roberta or Barbara, I wouldn't mind it as much but as a stand alone name, not so much!
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11-15-2012 at 6:51 PM
mrs.jenni
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My mom's name is Bobbi and she loves it.  Seems like a personal issue that your waitress has and shouldn't be generalized for all women who have boy names. 
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11-15-2012 at 6:59 PM
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I'm not a fan of unisex names so I'm not surprised. I honestly don't get the reasoning behind using masculine or unisex names on girls (or vice versa). I imagine it could be a lifetime of frustration as far as gender confusion on job applications, paperwork, etc.

My nieces both have :"unisex" (historically male) names while their brothers have very masculine Biblical names. On paper, people think they are a family of 5 boys. 
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11-15-2012 at 7:04 PM
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I work with a woman named Kyle - she must be in her 50's. When I asked her about it (because it's a GP name for me), she said she's had nothing but trouble with it.
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11-15-2012 at 7:35 PM
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mrs.jenni:
My mom's name is Bobbi and she loves it.  Seems like a personal issue that your waitress has and shouldn't be generalized for all women who have boy names. 
Or it could be your mom is the odd one out. Using a boy name on a girl would be enough to make me think "why not save it for a boy?" It sucks even more so when the family openly admits that. I know most people in my region would say Bobby/Bobbi is unisex but it still gets an eye roll from me. At least give her a full name so she can use it if she wants later. So Bobby/Bobbi is really annoying on multiple levels. And even you said it was a boy name. Why would a boy name go on a girl? I think it's great your mom managed to not dislike her name but most people in the same situation feel differently and it always makes me wonder why the parents weren't more considerate to how their children may feel.
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11-15-2012 at 7:47 PM
Iloveshane...
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PeridotEyes:

I'm not a fan of unisex names so I'm not surprised. I honestly don't get the reasoning behind using masculine or unisex names on girls (or vice versa). I imagine it could be a lifetime of frustration as far as gender confusion on job applications, paperwork, etc.

My nieces both have :"unisex" (historically male) names while their brothers have very masculine Biblical names. On paper, people think they are a family of 5 boys. 

I think it is an American thing that people think names belong to one gender or the other. It is fairly common in a lot of European countries to have very legitamite names that can be used for both genders. They may have different spellings but are pronounced the name. I agree some unisex names are a stretch but if they are legit, I don't see any issue with it! 
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11-15-2012 at 7:51 PM
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mrsmcdonald:
I work with a woman named Kyle - she must be in her 50's. When I asked her about it (because it's a GP name for me), she said she's had nothing but trouble with it.

I actually like Kyle for a girl but better SO vetoeing it and having a Real Housewive named Kyle, that kind of deters me from it!

Also, after doing research Bobbi is a legit feminine names! I don't mind it with spelled Bobbi but it's not my favorite!
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11-15-2012 at 7:54 PM
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Iloveshanej:

My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it!  We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!

She is 5....
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11-15-2012 at 7:57 PM
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Personally, I am relieved we're having a girl because so many good boy names are being abducted by moms for their girls.  Every little girl I know now is being named Ryan.  I know at least 4 in real life--and more on here!  It's not unique or original at this point, either.

You can't predict how a kid will feel about his or her name.  I have a BFF who has an unusual name that people butcher quite a bit, but she loves it, and it fits her perfectly.  I usually like my name but hated having a college roommate with the same name--and my name isn't even super common, but obviously it was common enough.  I'm sure the same goes for gender-specific-swapped names, too--some will embrace it, some will hate it.  
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11-15-2012 at 8:01 PM
Iloveshane...
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WashingtonQueen:
Iloveshanej:

My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it!  We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!

She is 5....

And your point is? We have instilled values in her to always be who you are and not be ashamed of it. We will continue to do that. My name is Carly and in my area growing up I was the only Carly and I have always loved my name. My parents did the same thing with me as I do with DD! There are actually people out there that enjoy not being mainstream. We are one of those families! And if that comment was snarky or an attack, please refrain from judging my already born, 5 year old daughter! I haven't judged your son's name!
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11-15-2012 at 8:05 PM
Iloveshane...
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Spacebunny19:

Personally, I am relieved we're having a girl because so many good boy names are being abducted by moms for their girls.  Every little girl I know now is being named Ryan.  I know at least 4 in real life--and more on here!  It's not unique or original at this point, either.

You can't predict how a kid will feel about his or her name.  I have a BFF who has an unusual name that people butcher quite a bit, but she loves it, and it fits her perfectly.  I usually like my name but hated having a college roommate with the same name--and my name isn't even super common, but obviously it was common enough.  I'm sure the same goes for gender-specific-swapped names, too--some will embrace it, some will hate it.  

Rhian is a common Welsh feminine name. I am not a fan of the spelling Ryan because I feel that is the masculine version of the name. Ryann was a spelling we used to honor my ex's great grandma who was originally Rhian but changed her name to Ryann when she can to America.

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11-15-2012 at 8:10 PM
Spacebunny...
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Is Rhian pronounced Ryan or Ree-ann?  I'd assume the latter? (I knew a Rhiannon and it was Ree-annon, not Rye-annon.)  

 
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11-15-2012 at 8:15 PM
Iloveshane...
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Spacebunny19:

Is Rhian pronounced Ryan or Ree-ann?  I'd assume the latter? (I knew a Rhiannon and it was Ree-annon, not Rye-annon.)  

 

Rhian is traditionally pronounced Ryan so is Ryann in our case. It is the feminine version of Ryan in Welsh.
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11-15-2012 at 8:26 PM
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WashingtonQueen:
Iloveshanej:

My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it!  We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!

She is 5....

It doesn't matter. You don't comment on already born and named kids. FWIW, I think Ryan, especially with the extra n is more unisex than Bobby (especially with the y). It's my sister's middle name (just one n) and she's not the biggest fan but knows it's legit.
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11-15-2012 at 8:30 PM
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austenreader85:
WashingtonQueen:
Iloveshanej:

My DD is Ryann (pronounced Ryan) and she loves it!&nbsp; We are a very unique family and pride ourselves on that so I think she likes it because it's different!



She is 5....


It doesn't matter. You don't comment on already born and named kids. FWIW, I think Ryan, especially with the extra n is more unisex than Bobby (especially with the y). It's my sister's middle name (just one n) and she's not the biggest fan but knows it's legit.


Thank you!
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11-15-2012 at 8:35 PM
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austenreader85:
mrs.jenni:
My mom's name is Bobbi and she loves it. &nbsp;Seems like a personal issue that your waitress has and shouldn't be generalized for all women who have boy names.&nbsp;

Or it could be your mom is the odd one out. Using a boy name on a girl would be enough to make me think "why not save it for a boy?" It sucks even more so when the family openly admits that. I know most people in my region would say Bobby/Bobbi is unisex but it still gets an eye roll from me. At least give her a full name so she can use it if she wants later. So Bobby/Bobbi is really annoying on multiple levels. And even you said it was a boy name. Why would a boy name go on a girl? I think it's great your mom managed to not dislike her name but most people in the same situation feel differently and it always makes me wonder why the parents weren't more considerate to how their children may feel.


I went to school with a Bobbi Sue, I know a Bobbie Jean, and my cousin is best friends with a Bobbi Jo. All like their names. All choose to go by Bobbi, Bobbie.

It's one thing to give your kid a unisex name. It's a whole different story to name your kid the name you picked out for the boy you never got....and then inform them that they got that name because they wanted a son and that was the name picked for the nonexistent son.
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11-15-2012 at 9:00 PM
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mrsmcdonald:
I work with a woman named Kyle - she must be in her 50's. When I asked her about it (because it's a GP name for me), she said she's had nothing but trouble with it.

One of my best friends growing up was named Kyle and she always hated that she had a boy's name. It definitely bothered her and she did get made fun of because of it (although there's always something kids will get made fun of). 
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11-15-2012 at 9:10 PM
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I have 3 Bobbi Jo's and all 3 as adults dropped the Jo. I also know 2 Tommi's, 3 Ryan's, and a Dylan.

That is 9 adult women I know personally (I know more but not personally) who have "boys names" and do not hate there names at all. I talked to almost all of them before naming my oldest daughter.

I think it was personal thing with that waitress.

I think it is how the parents treat the child and teach them about their name. I named my daughter Tommi b/c I loved the name and I will teach her to embrace it and love it. Just like the above poster who has a daughter named Ryann. 
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11-15-2012 at 9:16 PM
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austenreader85:
mrs.jenni:
My mom's name is Bobbi and she loves it.  Seems like a personal issue that your waitress has and shouldn't be generalized for all women who have boy names. 
Or it could be your mom is the odd one out. Using a boy name on a girl would be enough to make me think "why not save it for a boy?" It sucks even more so when the family openly admits that. I know most people in my region would say Bobby/Bobbi is unisex but it still gets an eye roll from me. At least give her a full name so she can use it if she wants later. So Bobby/Bobbi is really annoying on multiple levels. And even you said it was a boy name. Why would a boy name go on a girl? I think it's great your mom managed to not dislike her name but most people in the same situation feel differently and it always makes me wonder why the parents weren't more considerate to how their children may feel.

 As you know I have a daughter named Tommi and I didn't save it for a boy b/c I didn't like it for a boy. I liked it as a girls name. I was extremely considerate how my child would feel (i.e. asking multiple women with her name or other "boy" names how they felt about their name and if they were teased) 
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11-15-2012 at 9:37 PM
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My name is Bobbi. Not short for anything. I don't love my name, but I don't hate it. I do hate when people know I am a female and spell it "Bobby." Bobby is a boy's name; Bobbi and Bobbie are girls.

 I don't think I would name my daughter a "boy" or unisex name, but I have no problem when other people do. Smile
 
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11-15-2012 at 9:43 PM
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I do believe it is a personal thing, some women will hate having a boys name, some women will love it. I'm mostly annoyed because perfectly nice boys names are becoming girls names. So people who want to use a great boy name has to worry about their son being made fun of for having a "feminine" name. 

For example, Rowan and Rhys. I love both of these names, but now they are being used for girls and it deters me from wanting to use them on a future boy because I don't want him to be made fun of.  

I would also worry about my daughter, if she grew up to be a tomboy or whatever, I wouldn't want to give kids something else to use as ammunition to make fun of her.

I mean, there are SO many beautiful, cute, spunky girls names, whatever your style. I don't see why anyone would have to use a boy name to be unique or different.  
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11-15-2012 at 10:02 PM
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I have a boy name. And I love it. Always have. Always felt sorry for my friends that were Elizabeth, Sarah, Jennifer, Lauren, etc and one of 5 in their class. Plus I always thought it seemed awfully boring.

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11-15-2012 at 10:10 PM
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That.Just.Happened:

I have a boy name. And I love it. Always have. Always felt sorry for my friends that were Elizabeth, Sarah, Jennifer, Lauren, etc and one of 5 in their class. Plus I always thought it seemed awfully boring.

Two sides to each story. 

 I feel you on this one! My name is Laura and though I think my name is pretty. It is also kinda annoying to be "Laura LL" in my class b/c we had so many Laura's and 2 with "L" last names so I was forced to go by my first name and the first 2 letters of my last name.
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11-15-2012 at 10:31 PM
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Mrs.Frazier:

austenreader85:
mrs.jenni:
My mom 's name is Bobbi and she loves it.  Seems like a personal issue that your waitress has and shouldn't be generalized for all women who have boy names. 
Or it could be your mom is the odd one out. Using a boy name on a girl would be enough to make me think "why not save it for a boy?" It sucks even more so when the family openly admits that. I know most people in my region would say Bobby/Bobbi is unisex but it still gets an eye roll from me. At least give her a full name so she can use it if she wants later. So Bobby/Bobbi is really annoying on multiple levels. And even you said it was a boy name. Why would a boy name go on a girl? I think it's great your mom managed to not dislike her name but most people in the same situation feel differently and it always makes me wonder why the parents weren't more considerate to how their children may feel.

 As you know I have a daughter named Tommi and I didn't save it for a boy b/c I didn't like it for a boy. I liked it as a girls name. I was extremely considerate how my child would feel (i.e. asking multiple women with her name or other "boy" names how they felt about their name and if they were teased) 

We will never agree on the issue of unisex names and we don't have to but I still love her and you. And there is a world of difference for liking a unisex name on a girl, which like I said Bobbi is considered, and saying "well we were going to use it for a boy but then a girl came and we kept it." I don't mean that parents that use unisex names aren't considerate at all. You have to know teasing is a possibility but that you love the name more and hopefully she will understand that and love her name. The parents obviously failed in this case and my only worry is that a lot of people don't put enough thought into it and act shocked that people might expect Bobby to be a boy or when the child gets teased. This is true of people that mispell a name or make one up and can't understand why people can't get the name right. You are not one of those. But my mother was. Heard my name, fell in love, refused to pick a boy name and never once wondered if people would say it right, read it right etc. Now, the twist of fate in being the same age as a Cassie and a Casey and the ensuing identity crisis that ocurred from being Casedy was impossible to foresee. And there's no guarantee that a child will like the name at all but it would be nice if 27 years later people could get my name right at least 75% of the time.
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