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11-17-2012 at 7:51 PM
JNL$LSM
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Have you notice?

I am not trying to start a debate, but is second time around baby shower’s becoming more common. I am asking because I have seen a few posts of pictures on Facebook of second time around Moms having baby showers. Personally I am not for it; I think that it is for first time Moms, just wondering if you all have seen it also. 


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11-17-2012 at 8:15 PM
a13049
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I think they are becoming more acceptable. Not my thing, and I know my family doesn't host showers for STM but I have seen a lot friends post about second showers. 

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11-17-2012 at 9:21 PM
milkergirl...
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Yes, and I agree, a shower for the first baby only.  My co-worker and I had this conversation yesterday because I said this will be my one and only shower and I didn't agree with 2 of our co-workers having showers for their 4th and 5th child.  She's close friends with the co-worker having her 5th, and said that since she has 3 teens, the 4th is a 2 yr old boy, and this one will be a girl, this is an exception.  I stil don't agree.  Have a sprinkle, a sip and see, just not another baby shower. 

Is it because our society seems to have this great sense of entitlement, so we feel the need to throw gift oriented parties all the time? 


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11-17-2012 at 9:31 PM
rhubarb123
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I agree that they are becoming more common (although not in my family).  I've been invited to a few and have heard of several...but of course there is always a "good" excuse:  many years since the last kid, different DH and his first, boy this time/girl last time or the other way around, lived in a different state when the last baby was born, got rid of everything thinking there would be no more kid, etc.  I've heard them all...more or less.
 
11-18-2012 at 7:57 AM
alohachris...
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I was thrown  a 2nd baby shower for my son and yes they were the same gender....It was thrown for me and I did not feel "entitled" to gifts ,even with my first baby shower I did not register for anything over 25.00- me and my husband bought every big ticket item ourselves. So I wouldn't judge people that have more than one. My family wanted to celebrate my 2nd and was excited so they did it and invited only my best friends and family. I did not register and most people didn't bring gifts. It was to celebrate and have an excuse to see one another, eat cake and have fun.

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11-18-2012 at 7:59 AM
alohachris...
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and on that note #3 will not have a shower even though she's a girl....I've put my foot down :)

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11-18-2012 at 8:42 AM
Joy2611
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I can't be apart of this debate yet again.  2nd time baby showers are not appropriate in my world.

Also, it's showers, not shower's.  Apostrophes make possessives not plurals.


** Your use of the apostrophe to pluralize words is making my eyes bleed. ** 
11-18-2012 at 8:52 AM
RoxyLynn
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Honestly, I haven't.  I know lots of people with two kids, and several with three, and none of them have had a shower for #2 - either no one offered (which is most likely), or if someone did the mom-to-be declined.  Either way, it's just not done among the people I know.

I think it can be done well, and I would have loved it, but taking all of the crappy parts of school away from a kid isn't good for them in the long run.

There are lessons like "Not everyone likes you" and "Some people are douche bags" that you don't learn without socializing in a large group of poorly supervised children.
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11-18-2012 at 9:16 AM
jterpbride
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I don't even see the point in second showers.

Joy2611:

I can't be apart of this debate yet again.  2nd time baby showers are not appropriate in my world.

Also, it's showers, not shower's.  Apostrophes make possessives not plurals.

I am all for grammar police posts, but I feel compelled to tell you that "apart" means at a distance; "a part" means a portion or member of something.


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11-18-2012 at 9:56 AM
blush64
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I have not noticed more people having second showers who wouldn't have before. My family has always had showers for second, third, fourth...etc  We only invite family unless someone requests to come which does happen sometimes. 

I think people who don't agree with second showers should just decline them and decline the offer for one if it comes. Easy. People sometimes get it confused with being entitled. If someone offers a shower and plans a shower for you and that shower is well hosted, the guests are treated very well...that doesn't make the person who accepted the shower any worse than the first time mother who accepted a shower. (and much less worse than a first time mother who threw her own shower or who demanded certain gifts from guests)

Over that last while I just stopped caring very much about what other people want to do. If there's a shower I disagree with somehow, I won't go. No need to get upset or angry. I just decline. 

 
11-18-2012 at 10:09 AM
jasminelor...
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None of my friends that have subsequent children have had a second shower, however, my cousin who had three girls had a shower for each thrown by her friends. I agree that it's probably becoming more accepted in certain social groups.

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11-18-2012 at 10:28 AM
discobelle
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I wouldn't feel comfortable having one myself, but I don't really judge if someone else does, as long as it's tasteful and not some huge thing.

Ettiquette-wise, Emily Post says it's fine, as long as it's kept to close friends, close family and people who were not invited to a previous shower. 

 


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11-18-2012 at 10:37 AM
Jillwithan...
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No, just no. It's not your friends or families duty to buy you more *** or "celebrate the baby" by buying you things for a different gender because last time you registered for all pink, if you threw your old stuff out, if you just NEED more things, if you're on baby daddy #7 or even your oldest is in grad school. 

If I'm not mistaken I thought a shower was to welcome the woman into motherhood?

 


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11-18-2012 at 11:13 AM
Aleja0918
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The only place I see the subject brought up is on here. In real life, I don't know anyone who's had showers for subsequent children. It's just not done since there's no point.

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11-18-2012 at 12:15 PM
JMarie725
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(Lurker here, hope no one minds.) In my family, any excuse for the family to get together and hang out is acceptable. If it is a 2nd or 3rd baby shower, the mother does not register for gifts or anything but of course we bring some anyway. I've never seen a problem with it unless it is obvious that it was thrown just for gifts. (Which is why no one showed up for one of my cousins. She's nasty to everyone but all of a sudden she loves us all if she thinks she'll get gifts out of us.Confused)

We love getting together to blast music, dance, eat good food and laugh. I'm always looking for an excuse to get the family together so I don't see it as poor taste as long as your heart is in the right place. We also invite guys which some people think is tacky. They usually stay to eat and run out to go hiking or something anyways. lol.




 
11-18-2012 at 12:32 PM
Bliss+Berr...
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RoxyLynn:
Honestly, I haven't.  I know lots of people with two kids, and several with three, and none of them have had a shower for #2 - either no one offered (which is most likely), or if someone did the mom-to-be declined.  Either way, it's just not done among the people I know.

This. 


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11-18-2012 at 1:39 PM
Joy2611
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jterpbride:

I don't even see the point in second showers.

Joy2611:

I can't be apart of this debate yet again.  2nd time baby showers are not appropriate in my world.

Also, it's showers, not shower's.  Apostrophes make possessives not plurals.

I am all for grammar police posts, but I feel compelled to tell you that "apart" means at a distance; "a part" means a portion or member of something.

Ah!  Thanks.  :-)

I think you were trying to make me mad by telling me that my grammar was wrong, but I actually appreciate it.  I won't make the mistake again.


** Your use of the apostrophe to pluralize words is making my eyes bleed. ** 
11-18-2012 at 2:39 PM
PrimRoseMa...
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Meet the baby? Yes.

A shower for STM or more? No.

The only exceptions I could see would be a significant time between births or different SO or spouse [meaning its their H's first kid].

I don't see it as more acceptable in the social circles in my area. If anything, it is just understood that showers are for FTM only.

Also, I call BS on not wanting to "start something". Seems to be the whole point of the post.

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11-18-2012 at 7:36 PM
graciesmur...
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I've never seen a 2nd baby shower IRL.  However, my sister (host of my upcoming shower) told me that she has shower plans for my "next kid, if it's a boy".

I have no strong feelings one way or another toward multiple showers--I would attend/decline based on the guest of honor.  This is because I don't go to anything that I don't want to go to.


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11-18-2012 at 7:42 PM
jterpbride
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Joy2611:
jterpbride:

I don't even see the point in second showers.

Joy2611:

I can't be apart of this debate yet again.  2nd time baby showers are not appropriate in my world.

Also, it's showers, not shower's.  Apostrophes make possessives not plurals.

I am all for grammar police posts, but I feel compelled to tell you that "apart" means at a distance; "a part" means a portion or member of something.

Ah!  Thanks.  :-)

I think you were trying to make me mad by telling me that my grammar was wrong, but I actually appreciate it.  I won't make the mistake again.

I really wasn't! Just helping you police better next time :) 


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11-18-2012 at 8:03 PM
cmhicklin
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In my one group of friends, we throw a shower for each baby. I really don't know why, we just do. We don't invite people outside of our group, and its always a diaper/clothes shower. I don't think I have been to any other 2nd showers outside of this group though, and I would turn down any offered outside of this group.  

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11-19-2012 at 12:13 AM
jennipalme...
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I am having my third but my two are 12 and 9...plus this is my husbands first so like starting over. So his family will be throwing a party.

 


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11-19-2012 at 3:27 AM
rhubarb123
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alohachrissy2:
I was thrown  a 2nd baby shower for my son and yes they were the same gender....It was thrown for me and I did not feel "entitled" to gifts ,even with my first baby shower I did not register for anything over 25.00- me and my husband bought every big ticket item ourselves. So I wouldn't judge people that have more than one. My family wanted to celebrate my 2nd and was excited so they did it and invited only my best friends and family. I did not register and most people didn't bring gifts. It was to celebrate and have an excuse to see one another, eat cake and have fun.

What?...to the bolded part.  A shower IS a gift-giving event.  I certainly would not attend a shower if I didn't bring a gift - that would be rude on my part.  If you family and friends don't want to bring gifts to a shower...maybe you all should have "meet the baby parties" instead.

BTW...why was it OK to accept a shower while pg for your 2nd...but you will decline for a 3rd?  Wouldn't your family want to celebrate and be excited for #3, #4, and so on?

 
11-19-2012 at 6:20 AM
Cranang
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alohachrissy2:
and on that note #3 will not have a shower even though she's a girl....I've put my foot down :)

What makes a shower for number 2 ok but not number 3?  Are you (or is your family) not excited over this baby?  You said that was the reason for the shower for your 2nd.  What made you put your foot down this time?


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11-19-2012 at 7:27 AM
oliversmom...
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jterpbride:

I don't even see the point in second showers.

Joy2611:

I can't be apart of this debate yet again.  2nd time baby showers are not appropriate in my world.

Also, it's showers, not shower's.  Apostrophes make possessives not plurals.

I am all for grammar police posts, but I feel compelled to tell you that "apart" means at a distance; "a part" means a portion or member of something.

hahahahaha!  


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11-19-2012 at 8:15 AM
LaineyPane...
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I think every child is a blessing and if the family and friends want to shower the expectant parents, so be it. If you don't like the concept, then don't go to the showers.

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11-19-2012 at 8:19 AM
526SadieSa...
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My cousin's wife's family hosted a shower for her with her second child.  The older kid was 15 (she was a teen mom the first time around, she may not have even had a shower for her first child) I thought it was fine since it was my cousin's first child and it had been so long in between pregnancies. 

In situations like that, I don't mind the second shower.


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11-19-2012 at 8:20 AM
LaineyPane...
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Ps: at least once a day this seems to come up on this board.

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11-19-2012 at 9:54 AM
mabenner1
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Obesity, text speak, and poverty are also more common. Just because something becomes more prevalent, doesn't mean it is good or acceptable.

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11-19-2012 at 11:17 AM
PeanutR1
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mabenner1:
Obesity, text speak, and poverty are also more common. Just because something becomes more prevalent, doesn't mean it is good or acceptable.

 

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