For some guys it is pretty hard to get super excited or amped up for a baby that they have not had any physical contact with. Pregnancy is funny like that. While the woman is aware of every little thing and change that comes with the baby, because the woman is carrying it, the man is kind of left out of it, only able to share at a very vanilla level. Now I am excitable when it comes to these things, but even I had a hard time staying amped for the entire pregnancy, and only got really excited again once we got into the third trimester and I could actually feel our boy kick and flip around in there.
When he was born, my emotions were off the page with joy and relief that both my wife and my child were healthy and we were all together finally. For me, and I'm sure for a lot of fathers, that moment of birth, where we are called to be a father for the first time by carrying the baby over to the bassinet and helping out with that initial exam, that is a ten minute period of my life that is etched in my brain, and emotions were the driving factor that whole time.
As far as other people telling him how he should or should not be feeling, F 'em....seriously....F 'em!!! The only people who should be talking about anything to do with your family is your family. Seems like everyone is fine there, so F 'em!!! Just wait, people try to butt in even more once the kid is born. I have no problem telling someone to their face that they should mind their own buisness and worry about their own family. I imagine your husband can do the same, as he sounds like a grounded man who actually has a backbone. A lot of men don't these day's, it seems.