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11-18-2012 at 1:46 PM
andy71781
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andy71781 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:32 AMBronze

IVF is Making Me a Bad Sister

I have the 2 best sisters in the world.  One is 2 years older than me, and is expecting her first baby in January.  One is 10 years younger than me and is graduating from college (a semester early) next month.  

We are doing our first IVF cycle in December, starting stims on 11/30.

My big sister's baby shower is 12/8 and my baby sister's graduation is 12/15.  Baby shower is in California, graduation is in Michigan.  I'm in Minnesota

I've gone over the calendar and I just can't see how I could make either of them work.  I had weird feelings about going to the baby shower, and she was prepared/understanding for me not going, but I feel like missing graduation is not an option.  She won a big award and is speaking at the general commencement ceremony (this is a big school).

 I feel like I'll be stimming for the baby shower and the graduation will coincide with ER/heavy monitoring of stimming. Am I a horrible sister?  Would you buy a ticket/plan to go if you could?  
My TTTC blog

TTC since July 2011 Dx: Annovulation, u/s dx of PCOS HSG = all clear November-December 2012: IVF #1 Stims start 11/30 27R 20M 19F. Transferred 1 amazing blast and froze 8. 12/23: BFP! Beta #1= 86 Beta #2=186 6 weeks 1 day saw h/b; u/s at 9 weeks 1 day, no h/b D&C 1/31 April 2013: FET #2 BFP 4/25/13 Beta #1= 10 Beta #2 =4 c/p May 2013: IVF#2
 
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11-18-2012 at 1:55 PM
jadwedd
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If there was any way that I could go then I would because these are big moments in their lives.  It stinks that it is all in one month :P  I would talk to my dr to see if I should plan on it.
Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
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11-18-2012 at 2:39 PM
twistsandt...
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I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Such hard decisions, and no I don't think you are a horrible sister. ((Hugs))

Not to be a downer, but I start stims the same day, or a day before you do, and that week of the 10th is my estimated week for ER and ET, so I don't know if your doc would give you the ok to go, KWIM? I hope everything works out for you :/ 
Me: 34, DH: 30 :: TCC since 2/11
SA: Perfect! CD3 b/w=Elevated Prolactin? HSG = Blocked Right Tube
April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN
May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN
August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
Scar Tissue Removed, Left Tube Partially Open
September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 8F, 2 Transferred, 6 Frosties!)
Beta #1- 176 c/p @ 4w4d
FET #1 February 26th
Lost 4 Frosties to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
IVF # 2 in May Stims Begin 5/9


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11-18-2012 at 3:05 PM
RoadToFert...
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It doesn't sound like you're a bad sister at all. You're a sister going through something that's a big deal for your body and unfortunately for these events, the timing just doesn't work out so greatly. In my honest opinion, I probably wouldn't buy a ticket or plan to go, with the stresses of IVF, I would probably just stay put (that's just me)....maybe after you've gone through your first round of IVF you can do something where you do a combo celebration with both of your sisters? Celebrate the graduation and the baby? Good luck with your decision making..it is a tough one!
Married for 3 years to the love of my life! TTC for over a year. Started seeing RE in April 2012. Lap in July revealed endo covering left ovary and part of my bowels. This will require extensive surgery by a specialist. RE wants us to have babies first because surgery could compromise my ability to carry. Started first round of IVF in August. Ten follies retrieved, eight fertilized, two frosties. IVF #1= C/P *Frozen Embie Transfer scheduled for end of Nov/Dec. Going to transfer 2 frosties if all goes according to plan*
FET # 1 [12/18]: Transferred two "beautiful" embies.
Beta # 1: 126 [BFP!]
Beta # 2: 546
Beta #3: 1618!!
Beta # 4 - 4954!!!!!! Ultrasound 1/18 - Two heartbeats at 121 and 136. Fraternal twins! Um, is this really happening?!
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Our Road to Fertility (My blog)

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11-18-2012 at 3:26 PM
J&D2007
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Aw, what a bummer. It sure doesn't look like you'll be able to make either of them, does it? If both sisters know, I don't see how they could be the least bit upset. Can you like have your parents Skype from their phones when your sister does her speech or anything? Maybe the university puts it live online? I know it's not the same as being there, but you could feel like you participated some. Anyway, sorry it is so hard. It sucks. 

Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 3+ years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s,
1/12: D&C,
6/12 IUI #1: clomid, 5 mature follicles, excellent sperm,= BFN,
7/12: IUI #2: clomid, 3 mature follicles, excellent sperm= BFN,
8/12: IUi #3: clomid, 5 follicles, = BFP!, C/P
10/12 IVF #1: FSH 5.4, estradiol AFC: 14, long Lupron 150/bravelle75,5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast and 1 8 cell transferred. No frosties. BFN
IVF #2: AFC 21, MD lupron 12/25, 225bravelle/150men, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast BFN
IVF #3: natural start antagon, starting 3/30, ER 4/11, 12R,11M,10F
.
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11-18-2012 at 4:12 PM
andy71781
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andy71781 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:32 AMBronze

Thanks ladies, I agree it does look like I'll be missing both of them.  I like the idea of skyping - or maybe just videotaping.  The hardest thing is that my parents are very divorced and because I won't be there my little sister will have to deal with them all by herself.  

I wonder if my ER was on 12/11 or 12/12  whether I could make the 12/15 graduation.  Part of me wants to bite the bullet and buy a refundable (aka more expensive) ticket to fly in and out the day of the graduation.

Why does IF suck so much? 
My TTTC blog

TTC since July 2011 Dx: Annovulation, u/s dx of PCOS HSG = all clear November-December 2012: IVF #1 Stims start 11/30 27R 20M 19F. Transferred 1 amazing blast and froze 8. 12/23: BFP! Beta #1= 86 Beta #2=186 6 weeks 1 day saw h/b; u/s at 9 weeks 1 day, no h/b D&C 1/31 April 2013: FET #2 BFP 4/25/13 Beta #1= 10 Beta #2 =4 c/p May 2013: IVF#2
 
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11-18-2012 at 4:17 PM
CNYBride05
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You aren't a bad sister.  You've been through a lot to get to where you are.  

That being said - you could talk to you RE about taking pills for a little longer or suppressing a little longer so you could go to one or both events and STILL do this cycle.

No judgement here which ever way you decide to go.  All the best!!  GL :-) 
Natural m/c Oct. 2005
Dx: balanced translocation and LPD
TTC since Oct 2011
BPF 02/19/12 ----> EDD 10/31/12 ----> natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)
IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12) ----> BFP 12/02/12 ----> Double rainbow, identical twins <3
 
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11-18-2012 at 4:19 PM
andy71781
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andy71781 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:32 AMBronze
CNYBride05:

You aren't a bad sister.  You've been through a lot to get to where you are.  

That being said - you could talk to you RE about taking pills for a little longer or suppressing a little longer so you could go to one or both events and STILL do this cycle.

No judgement here which ever way you decide to go.  All the best!!  GL :-) 

Unfortunately the IVF clinic closes at the end of December/beginning on January so delaying is not an option. 
My TTTC blog

TTC since July 2011 Dx: Annovulation, u/s dx of PCOS HSG = all clear November-December 2012: IVF #1 Stims start 11/30 27R 20M 19F. Transferred 1 amazing blast and froze 8. 12/23: BFP! Beta #1= 86 Beta #2=186 6 weeks 1 day saw h/b; u/s at 9 weeks 1 day, no h/b D&C 1/31 April 2013: FET #2 BFP 4/25/13 Beta #1= 10 Beta #2 =4 c/p May 2013: IVF#2
 
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11-18-2012 at 4:46 PM
Aurora1181
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You are not a horrible sister.  You are just doing the best you can for you, your DH, and your future family. Does baby sister know what you are going through? Could someone videotape your sister's speech so you could see it later (on youtube, for example?). Maybe you could skype her after it's over to congratulate her? If you are set on being there, I would talk to your RE and see if you could fly in just for the day, spend the night, and fly home the next day. Good luck!
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Anniversary
Me: 30, DH: 32
TTC since February 2011
SA: all normal, HSG: all clear!
4/12: 50mg Clomid= BFN
6/12: IUI #1: 50mg clomid/ovidrel/progesterone= BFN
7/12: IUI #2: 2.5mg Letrozole/ovidrel/progesterone= BFN.
8/12: 2.5mg Letrozole + progesterone = BFN.
9/12: lap / hysteroscopy: found and removed mild endometriosis, cervical polyp, and 2 para-tubular cysts
10/12: 2.5mg letrozole = No response :(
11/12: IUI #3: 5mg letrozole/ovidrel/progesterone=BFN
12/12: IUI #4, 5mg letrozole/Menopur/ovidrel/vivelle/progesterone= BFN
5/13 IVF #1: Follistim, Menopur, Ganirelix
 
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11-18-2012 at 8:45 PM
maggie2324
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You may or may not have your ET on the day of graduation, so that would be tough. If it is THAT important that you are there, a refundable ticket would be your best bet (or a last minute ticket). 

Personally, I wouldn't fly in for a graduation ceremony even for my sibling. I know that with her speech it is a bigger deal, but having to fly in for the day in the middle of an IVF cycle would be out of the question for me. It wouldn't even be a hard decision. I would consider being honest about the reason so that her feelings aren't hurt. If she's a good sister, she would understand. 
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Me (24) DH (26) TTC #1 Dx: MFI
2/12 IUI #1 - Clomid/HCG trigger = BFN
4/12 IVF #1 - 17r 14m 13f, 2 4AA blasts = BFN, 3 frosties
7/12 IVF #2 - 14r 13m 10f, 3 day 3 embies = BFP, 4 frosties
8/6/12 Beta #1 = 16, 8/15/12 Beta #5 = 72, 8/20/12 Beta #6 = 9. C/P
11/5/12 FET #1, 2 4AA blasts, 11/14/12 Beta #1 - 352, 11/16 Beta #2 - 1100
Vanishing twin, NT scan clear, 3/5/13 A/S
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11-18-2012 at 9:09 PM
JourneytoJ...
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JourneytoJoy07 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 5:01 PMNewbie
You aren't a bad sister...and they both should understand.  IVF is not to be taken lightly.  It is just such a risk to commit to those things, when you are already committed to doing whatever it takes to start a family.  I hope it all works out. :)
Me:27, DH:29 Married: 07/07/07 TTC Since: March 2011 MFI Me: No known Issues Varicocele embolization April 2012 IVF #1 with ICSI July 2012: BFN :( DH- Femara for 90 days to decrease Estrodial levels SA and RE Consult 12/10/2012 Numbers have improved! IVF# 2: Jan 2013, Beta 1: 6.1 #2: 9 #3: 16 #4: 21 #5: 129 #6: 644 #7:65 #8:6 9: 1.6 C/P 6weeks0days 5 frosties IVF #3 FET March/April or May?

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11-20-2012 at 4:42 PM
Citygirl10...
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I have two close sisters, so I can understand how you feel about missing such important things for them. Unfortunately though, it doesn't seem like you'll be able to do either, because this is a big emotional, time, physical, and financial investment for you and YH so it's totally understandable that this would be your first priority.

Here's my 2 cents, and might give you a couple of thoughts to consider:

- You may not be able to fly after your ER due to the increased risk of OHSS, since flying dehydrates you (I travel a lot for work so I read into this before IVF #1). I would talk to your RE and see what their thoughts are.

- As PP mentioned, the graduation may be the same day as your ET.

- I wouldn't do anything during an IVF cycle that will stress you out, or give you a regret if your cycle doesn't work. I was in a friends wedding four days after my ET, and even though I took it easy and generally felt fine, I regretted it and blamed myself when that cycle failed.

TTC #1 since Oct 2009, Dx: Unexplained Infertility
HSG: Right tube all clear, left tube inconclusive
3 failed Clomid Cylces
4/5 lap revealed blocked left tube, but right tube is open
April/May- 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1= CANCELLED left ovary ovulating
June 1- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = BFN
June 28- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #2 =BFP!
7/12 Beta #1= 14 Beta #2= >5 Chemical Pregnancy :(
July-Nov long break to recover emotionally and financially
Nov 24- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #3= BFN
Jan 22- Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI# 4 = CANCELLED no response on right
IVF #1- Start stims 4/7, ER 4/20, 21R, 14F, 6 frosties, ET 4/25, 2 embryos transferred= BFN :(
FET #1- June 2012, Lurpon starts 5/27- CANCELLED
FET #1 take 2- August 2012, delayed until Sept-CANCELLED
FET #1 take 3- ET 10/11, 2 embryos transferred,= BFFN
FET #2- Transfer 12/4--Cancelled, no embies survived thaw :(
Next steps-- IVF #2 with new RE in March
HOLY SURPRISE BFP 2/15/13!!!! Beta 1- 286, Beta 2- 782, U/S shows baby in uterus and healthy heartbeat


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