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11-19-2012 at 7:58 AM
mejane123
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Calling the baby 'It' Vent

Every now and then I find myself calling the baby 'it' as opposed to he or she because DH and I aren't finding out the sex. When I do, people act like I've committed a cardinal sin and bltch at me for referring to my baby as an it rather than he or she. I don't really see 1, why they get so bent out of shape about it, and 2, what they expect me to say instead. I'm not calling my LO 'it' because I think they're less than human, it's because I don't know which of the two it is. And besides, half the time I get asked what 'it' is, anyway!

Has anyone else experienced this and gotten as annoyed about it as me, or am I being stupid? Am I terrible for saying things like 'It's been kicking me nonstop' instead of 'He or she has been kicking me nonstop'? Or are certain people just all uppity for no reason?

Thanks for letting me vent!
 
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11-19-2012 at 8:05 AM
ChynaDholl
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We know what baby's sex is but aren't telling anyone until it's born. We have to consciously remember not to say he/she when speaking to anyone and so we tend to say it a lot or the baby. If people want to get upset over your child, let them. Could they be upset that you didn't find out the sex and want you to "let it slip?"
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11-19-2012 at 8:06 AM
groundedwi...
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I totally understand. Sometimes I refer to the baby as "they" to humanize it more but then people get all excited thinking its twins. My family and friends are used to it but with others I just refer to the baby as Baby Last Name.  
 
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11-19-2012 at 8:26 AM
526SadieSa...
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People are so stupid.  It's nobody's business how you choose to refer to your unborn baby.  Next time that happens I'd say "excuse me, this child is growing in my body, I'll call it whatever I want to."

FWIW, we called Olivia "Vegas" until we found out she was a girl.  It started out as a "jackpot" joke since we only tried for a month to get pregnant.

It really doesn't matter what you call the baby, people just like to just up on their high horses.

 
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11-19-2012 at 8:36 AM
ohlordy
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I had a co-worker let out a slight gasp and say "noooo ... that's not an 'it', that's your baby!" Sweet intentions, but my baby isn't an "it" to me, its just an "it" to everyone else.

DH and I also know the sex and are waiting to share this with everyone, so I got into the habit of saying "yeah, baby is ________" when people ask. Sometimes it is "it" and sometimes it is "baby." 

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11-19-2012 at 8:38 AM
MrsP7309
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DH decided that all pronouns referring to the baby should be 'herm.' Sounds awful grammatically, but it is gender neutral.


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11-19-2012 at 8:39 AM
AimeeL85
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Have you asked them what they would like you to say instead?
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11-19-2012 at 8:47 AM
rnfromtn
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Team green here.  If I call "it" by anything he/she/they people get excited like I slipped and told them a national secret.  Then I have to laugh and convince them I really don't know.

I will say, with my last pregnancy my FIL called the unborn "number 2"  which irritated that crap out of me because it sounded like he was referring to poop.  And it wasn't our number 2 child, just his second grandchild. 

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11-19-2012 at 8:49 AM
Ladynikon
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I can't call a life "it" either. I say he or she. I am not going to going to go ape about it though.  Your baby not mine. 
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11-19-2012 at 8:51 AM
Lady*Timot
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I call the baby either baby or "lastname-let"  It's a shortened version of our last name and thankfully no one has said anything. Think similar to "Kid-let" We are team green as well.
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11-19-2012 at 9:03 AM
MelleTX
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Before I knew the sex of the twins, I just referred to them as the Two Tiny Humans. It's easier not to say "it" when there are two because rarely do you refer to just one of them at a time, but I am sure I did at some point. 

I am also pretty sure I referred to one of them recently as an evil little monster trying to kill me from the inside. I doubt this has done any permanent damage to her self-esteem or will require additional therapy later.

Ignore the people who always have to comment on something.  
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11-19-2012 at 9:13 AM
velazquezk...
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MrsP7309:
DH decided that all pronouns referring to the baby should be 'herm.' Sounds awful grammatically, but it is gender neutral.


We called our baby Shim. We aren't finding out either. I just call the baby "he". And people are like "ohhhh so you're lying and knew all along its a boy!?" Ummm no. How about we just picked one and went with it.
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11-19-2012 at 9:23 AM
mejane123
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rnfromtn:
Team green here.nbsp; If I call "it" by anything he/she/they people get excited like I slipped and told them a national secret.nbsp; Then I have to laugh and convince them I really don't know.
I will say, with my last pregnancy my FIL called the unborn "number 2"nbsp; which irritated that crap out of me because it sounded like he was referring to poop.nbsp; And it wasn't our number 2 child, just his second grandchild.nbsp;


This is my issue. When I say he, which seems to be the sex I most often call it [oops, did it again!], people get all excited about me having a boy or try to convince me my motherly instincts are telling me it's a boy.

As for asking what they'd rather I call it, yes, I've tried that. The response I got from one woman was 'I don't know, but IT'S not an IT, IT'S your baby!' Another person told me to call the LO shim. Yeah, not happening.
 
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11-19-2012 at 10:12 AM
saturdayni...
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I was team green with the first two, but never called the baby"it", instead I called the baby "the baby". People were super annoying though and couldn't appreciate us not wanting to know the sex. We drove people really nuts not naming our kids until 24 hrs after birth, probably won't this time either, even though we know its a girl. Do what you want and tell people to mind their own business. Too many opinions out there!
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11-19-2012 at 10:27 AM
alysie89
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We don't know the sex of  our baby and refer to it as an 'it' but at work where i got alot of flack for that i changed it up and called it a she sometimes and a he the rest of the time until everyone was confused. I figure people should just let you do what when it comes to how you refer to your unborn child, it has very little to do with your relationship with it other than you don't know boy or girl, or you don't want to share with the world that info.
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11-19-2012 at 10:27 AM
NDHaley
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We're not finding out so we do our best to say baby when talking about the pregnancy but every so often we slip and say he/she and then of course we're subjected to the third degree about how we know and we're just not telling.  It gets really old and frankly even if we knew, we wouldn't tell anyway.
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11-19-2012 at 10:29 AM
kerbear135
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Personally, I don't like it when people refer to my child as an "it" but part of that is because we know it's a girl and so does anyone who asks. However, that being said, it your child and you can call him/her/it whatever you want...it's not like the baby's going to care. Besides, you're the one walking around with this baby inside you- if you're not offended by calling him/her "it" then nobody else has the right to be either (except DH, and it doesn't sound like he minds either).
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11-19-2012 at 10:41 AM
this decaf...
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I definitely called her "it" before I knew she was a girl. I just didn't know what else to call her!

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11-19-2012 at 10:43 AM
DawnJM25
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People are dumb.  Who cares?  We are team green and we say "it" all the time.  We also have a gender neutral nickname for "it" but we still say "it." 
 
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11-19-2012 at 11:08 AM
burgergirl...
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My sister was team green, she called the baby "pickle" for a nickname. If you get super annoyed you can always come up with a nickname.
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11-19-2012 at 11:15 AM
SummerOH
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burgergirl13:
My sister was team green, she called the baby "pickle" for a nickname. If you get super annoyed you can always come up with a nickname.

This is what a Team Green friend did.  She nicknamed the baby Peanut and would just refer to the baby by that name. 
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11-19-2012 at 11:26 AM
mejane123
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Yeah if we knew the gender we definitely wouldn't call it 'it,' but since we don't I just always feel awkward calling it 'he or she'. It just seems like such a mouthful. Sometimes DH will just call it The Bump, as in, 'How's the bump doing today?' But that's really just at home when it's just the two of us.

Most people that I'm around regularly have their own little nickname, like baby first letter of last name, baby question mark, he or she or one of the names we picked out if they're convinced of the sex, stuff like that.
 
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11-19-2012 at 12:12 PM
maiatene
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groundedwife:
I totally understand. Sometimes I refer to the baby as "they" to humanize it more but then people get all excited thinking its twins.

This!!! Even though people know good and well this is a single pregnancy. Dont waste your energy OP... you will exhaust yourself from dealing with all of the stupid people and have no energy for your baby...
 
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11-19-2012 at 1:45 PM
grace1404
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We don't know either so I call my baby "it" all the time.  Some people told me they thought that was weird or not very maternal, and those people should have kept there mouths shut.  
 
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11-19-2012 at 2:24 PM
SurpriseAt...
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MelleTX:

Before I knew the sex of the twins, I just referred to them as the Two Tiny Humans. It's easier not to say "it" when there are two because rarely do you refer to just one of them at a time, but I am sure I did at some point. 

I am also pretty sure I referred to one of them recently as an evil little monster trying to kill me from the inside. I doubt this has done any permanent damage to her self-esteem or will require additional therapy later.

Ignore the people who always have to comment on something.  

 

 

I agree... Evil little monster!!

 

I usually say "baby", but occasionally say he/she as we haven't found out.  So many friends and family feel so strongly about whether it's a boy or a girl that I have to keep reminding them that we DON'T know.  

I don't like the "it".  That's why we call him/her "baby". But everyone is different. 
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11-19-2012 at 9:27 PM
DANNI21
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It is sooo much easier to refer to the baby as "it" when you don't know the sex.  I found myself saying he or she way to frequently. Some people have been really uppity about us not finding out the gender. I've had many many comments like "How are you going to paint the room" "How do you buy things for the baby" "Wouldn't it be so much easier to just find out" yadayadayada.....
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11-19-2012 at 11:25 PM
bloomraise...
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yeah, I've experienced this, and I do find it annoying when people think they can give me a hard time for saying "it".  One older woman at work has taken to calling it "Baby I.T." as if it's going to come connect her printer or something.

GRRRRR!   I choose to remain unaware of the sex.  And, it's mine.  So, bug off.

 

(and yeah, when I slip and say "he", because I've been convinced it's a boy by everyone who sees me, people get all excited like, "you said 'he'!!   it's a boy, isn't it?"   uh, might be, might not be.  50/50 chance.)

 

 
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11-20-2012 at 7:53 AM
JandACoffe...
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We aren't finding out the sex either, but early on we "named" the baby Clementine (Clemi for short) and decided since this was a girl's name that we would use male pronouns to make everything even. I have to explain this whenever I say "he" or "him" and someone asks if we found out, but they usually accept the explanation easily enough. :) I have wondered once the baby is born if I am going to have the urge to call the baby "Clementine" even though it is no where close to the two names we actually have picked out!

 
 
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