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11-19-2012 at 10:05 AM
cutie9621
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Should I call and check...

A few months ago I visited a friend who loaned us a TON of baby items. The swing and bouncer, clothes, boppy, a RNP. Tons of stuff!

When we left we left a thank you card with a gift card for the movies and dinner on the made up bed in the guest room where we stayed, also their office.

After two months I still have not even recieved a text saying thanks for the giftcard. I really just want to make sure she found it. Should I call and ask if she found it or just assume she did and didn't say anything about it.

It was almost a 100$ worth of giftcards so I find it a little rude that she might have found it and not at lest texted a thank you. Am I wrong in this?
 
11-19-2012 at 10:09 AM
Pumpkin_Pr...
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I agree that it is rude for her not to acknowledge your gesture. I would also be worried that the gift cards got tangled up in the sheets and put into the laundry, so I would personally give her a call and ask if she enjoyed her date night. I wouldn't make it sound like that's the only reason your calling though. Maybe work it into the conversation somehow.
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11-19-2012 at 10:39 AM
FemShep
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Yes, it was rude of your friend to not acknowledge your gift, but it also be rude if you called her on it. If the gift did get lost somehow (not likely), what could be done about it at this point anyway?  Let it go-two rudes don't make a right.  ;)
 
11-19-2012 at 11:31 AM
wittyschaf...
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I am guessing she figured giving a thank you for the thank you gift was getting into that grey area where you aren't sure when to stop the thank you cycle.  It is strange that she didn't acknowledge it though!  I personally would just let it go.  I can't imagine that they didn't find it.
 
11-19-2012 at 11:50 AM
mabenner1
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wittyschaffy:
I am guessing she figured giving a thank you for the thank you gift was getting into that grey area where you aren't sure when to stop the thank you cycle.  It is strange that she didn't acknowledge it though!  I personally would just let it go.  I can't imagine that they didn't find it.

This was my thought as well. At what point does the thank you cycle end!?!?!?
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11-19-2012 at 3:28 PM
ggatlanta
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FemShep:
If the gift did get lost somehow (not likely), what could be done about it at this point anyway?  Let it go-two rudes don't make a right.  ;)

This... Yes, rude if she found them and didn't at least acknowledge, true. But calling her out is also rude, and if somehow she tossed them while doing laundry, she'll be embarrassed plus still out the gift cards.

Bottom line, there's no upside to asking about the gift, since it's not like you could get a refund if she threw them out somehow... Sorry that she didn't acknowledge, but I am confident she was super grateful although she didn't say so!
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11-19-2012 at 8:27 PM
jeffsjayme
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I'd make sure.  Normally, I wouldn't sweat it, but this just happened to me this summer where I gave my sister an $100 gift card as a Thank You for hosting my Meet the Baby party and she never said a word about how she spent it.  I finally asked and sure enough, she never got it.  We called the company (Hobby Lobby), they were able to track down the gift card number, report it Lost and give us a new one.  Luckily, I knew the date I bought it and what credit card since I imported that into Quicken.  Phew!

ETA: Since it was for Hobby Lobby, I asked her about it by saying "Hey, what did you end up making/crafting/buying with the gift card?"  That was a good way of approaching the topic for me. 
 
11-19-2012 at 9:05 PM
rhubarb123
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I would definitely ask if she had used the gift cards yet and what movie did she see. 

The reason I say that is because some similar happened to me.  I have a friend who is really pretty destitute (lives in another state).  Well, I got her an outfit for her birthday and on the bottom of the box I taped a pre-paid phone card for like 3,000 minutes.  At the time I cost about $50 I think.  Well, fortunately, she was one to call as soon as she opened a gift to thank me.  I said something about being able to call me anytime using the phone card and she asked what I was talking about.  I told her there was a phone card taped on the bottom of the box under the outfit.  She didn't even notice it and had thrown the box in the garbage bin (behind her apartment!).  She was pretty lucky no garbage got thrown on top and she was able to retrieve the box and the card.  She told me she was just sick to her stomach until she found it.
 
11-19-2012 at 10:07 PM
MelleTX
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I kind of disagree. You do not normally "thank" a "thank you" so it was not rude of her to not send a thank you for the gift cards. However, I would have at least sent a text.

I'd lt it go unless you can work it into normal conversation without it seeming forced. 
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11-20-2012 at 11:01 AM
markhamgur...
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MelleTX:

I kind of disagree. You do not normally "thank" a "thank you" so it was not rude of her to not send a thank you for the gift cards. However, I would have at least sent a text.

I'd lt it go unless you can work it into normal conversation without it seeming forced. 

 

Agree.  At some point, the back-and-forth thanking gets weird.  I think you're at that point.  Maybe ask, in passing, if she's seen any good movies lately?
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11-21-2012 at 1:30 PM
littlebean...
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The gift cards were a thank you for something she did for you, I don't think she needed to call and thank you for the thank you. I agree that the cycle of thank you's would be neverending in that case. Where does it end?

I would just assume she found them and enjoyed using them just like I'm sure you're going to enjoy using all of her baby gear. I wouldn't call her out on not calling and thanking you or acknowledging you for giving her a thank you gift.

If you're worried about people not seeing gifts like that, next time leave it in a more obvious place where you know they'll see it and you won't have to wonder about it.
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11-21-2012 at 2:10 PM
discobelle
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Yes, it would have been nice for her to acknowledge it, but I think calling her two months after the fact would be awkward.  

I also agree that a thank you for a thank you isn't always expected.   
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11-21-2012 at 2:15 PM
Lexy and C...
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wittyschaffy:
I am guessing she figured giving a thank you for the thank you gift was getting into that grey area where you aren't sure when to stop the thank you cycle.  It is strange that she didn't acknowledge it though!  I personally would just let it go.  I can't imagine that they didn't find it.
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11-25-2012 at 10:57 PM
Elsa1984
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I feel like if it is a gift,......wether it is a birthday gift, bridal gift, wedding gift, baby shower gift, thank you gift, etc....you should say thank you. If I get a gift, I send a thank you card. But if I get a gift from someone wanting to thank me for something, a simple call, text, or email acknowledging I got it and I love it....is simple enough. They took the time to get me a "thank you" gift, I can take 30 seconds of my time and thank them for it.

I would somehow slip it into the convo to see if she got it.
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