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11-19-2012 at 2:13 PM
arbutusbri...
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arbutusbride is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:13 PMNewbie

And with that call, it is all over...

My nurse just called and my level went from 41 to 5 over the weekend.  I knew from previous experiences what was going to happen, (first beta was 31, second was 41 so the drop was inevitable) but I still held out a tiny sliver of hope. 

DH and I agreed that this would be our last attempt at making a baby through fertility treatments. Although I am sad that this journey has ended, I am a bit relieved that it is over.  Is it bad that I feel that way? After 4 IUI's, 2.5 IVF's, 3, no make it 4 c/p's I am just tired of the disappointment.  As I write this I feel a little bit of the weight lifting off of my shoulders.

So I guess it is on to the next chapter of our story.  Will I look at a pregnant woman and feel a little pang of jealousy, yeah. But looking at that same pregnant woman and I can now think "She could be the birthmother of my future child." So with that, I will put a little smile on my face. 

I will look to the positive side of our situation. Pregnancy is one way to build a family but it is not the only way.  

I am not a hardcore poster but I spend a lot of time on the boards. It is the only place where my feelings have truly felt validated, where everyone supports everyone (except for the occasional troll), and I know I can vent without being judged.   Thank you for the support and I wish every single person the best of luck.  I hope that your dreams are realized.  

Rebecca
We have moved on after IF treatments to domestic infant adoption. While we wait my dog is my surrogate baby. Bumping from Portland, OR.  
11-19-2012 at 2:26 PM
Girls2Boys...
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Oh no, oh sweetheart. You have an amazing attitude. You WILL be a fantastic mom to some lucky child. You're right. Pregnancy is not the only way to build a family.
 
11-19-2012 at 2:39 PM
DoublePort...
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Huge ((hugs)) and best wishes for a happier rest of your story!
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Me: 29 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 28 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy with partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo. Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF #1:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
5/2013 Waiting for Donor Embryos

PAIF/SAIF always welcome!
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus! 
11-19-2012 at 2:48 PM
firesiren
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BIG HUGE ((HUGS))

I am so sorry.  I wish things were different for you.   
Me; 35 DH 32 TTC for over 2 years First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN Switching RE IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH! BFN IVF#3 Chemical... FML. 2 frosties. SAIF/PAIF ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!
My Idle Oven Blog!
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
 
11-19-2012 at 3:23 PM
Sophistiki...
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I am so very sorry.  It sounds however, that you are mentally ready to move on.  Don’t make any apologies to anyone for that or the relief that you feel.  This is an incredibly hard journey we are all on and the best thing you can do is be true to yourself and listen when your heart says it has had enough.  


I wish you peace and happiness in the new phase of your journey.  (((Hugs)))
TTC #1
Dx = AMA/DOR, hypothyroid, submucosal fibroid, adenomyosis, mild MFI
IUI#1-3 = BFN
IVF #1 (EPP Antagonist); 3R, 2M, 1F; 3dt of one 12-cell embryo = BFN
IVF #2 (EPP MDLF); 6R, 4M, 3F; 3dt of 1-7 cell, 1-8 cell & 1-10 cell = BFP; confirmed C/P @ 4w2d
Genetic carrier screening negative (CF, Fragile X, SMA, Tay Sachs)
Karyotyping, autoimmune & thrombophilia panels all normal
IVF#3 (DE); 13R, 12M, 8F; 5dt of two “excellent quality” blasts = BFP
Beta#1 = 203, Beta #2 = 81, Beta #3 = 17; confirmed C/P @ 5w1d
Two frosties left
*PAIF/SAIF welcome*  
11-19-2012 at 3:37 PM
asilwhite
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I'm so sorry for your loss ((Hugs)). I wish you nothing but the best of luck as you continue your journey. 
October BMB June Siggy Challenge: Photobombs


TTC #1 since May 2011 | Me: 28, DH: 28 | DX: MFI
BFP #1 - April 15, 2012 (CP on April 17)
IUIs #1 - #3 (August - October '12) = BFFN
IVF #1.1 (Nov/Dec '12): Cancelled due to 18mm cyst - UGH
IVF #1.2 (Dec/Jan '12/'13): 5dt of 1 "perfect" 1AA blast on 1/26 (2 frosties) = BFP!!!
EDD October 14, 2013
Everyone welcome!
My Blog

Can't wait to meet our little boy!! BabyFruit Ticker 
11-19-2012 at 4:13 PM
JewelsW198...
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I'm so sorry!
* Me- 32 * DH- 32 * TTC for 4 Years
* *IUIs 1-6 BFN*
*IVF #1= BFP- M/C *FET- * *Beta#1: 69 *Beta#2:482 *Beta#3 1088
*Beta#4 28,318 * Ultrasound- 1 beautiful heartbeat
IT'S A BOY!!! MAX LIAM
 
11-19-2012 at 5:08 PM
Scoop77
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What a fantastic attitude you have. I'm sorry that you're going through a loss, but I also am amazed at you managing to keep perspective and realize that, yep, you'll still be a mom. The journey will just be different to get there. Good luck to you!

TTC #1 for about 3.5 years
ME: 37, PCO, immune issues?, teflon uterus (my added diagnosis)
HIM: 38, Perfect. (Showoff.)
Month before starting Clomid, spontaneous pregnancy. m/c at 7 weeks and D&C.
Four months of Clomid, one IUI, with Intralipid each cycle: BFNs all
IVF 1.0 July 2012 -- Lupron, bravelle, menopur, estrogen, progesterone supps, intralipid. 14 ER, 14 fertilized, 1 blast transferred, 2 on ice. BFN
FET 1.1 -- 10/2, transferred our 2 blasts. Lupron, PIO, estrogen, baby aspirin, prednisone. BFN.
IVF 2.0 December 2012 -- Bravelle, Menopur, Ganirelix, Prednisone, Metformin, estrogen, progesterone supps. 22 eggs retrieved on 12/14, 17 mature, 15 fertilized. OHSS anticipated so ET cancelled. 3 embryos frozen.
Broke up with old RE. Moving on to new dude. Maybe the change of scenery will be just the trick for our frosties. On BCPs for possible April FET.

P/SAIF welcome 
11-19-2012 at 5:23 PM
Crystal120...
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I am so sorry for you to have to make that choice but you sound like your ok with your decision. I wish you all the best on your next adventure!
Married 9-10-11
Together 6 years before marriage
Me 26 DH 28
TTC since 9/2011
Dx endo 2007 Sx laparoscopy
End bcp 9/2011
Dx annovulatory, DOR, Low AMH
Hysteroscopy due to polyp 2-1-12
IUI#1-3 Cancelled due to low response
IUI#4 BFFN
IVF#1 8/30 Beta#1 256, 8/31 Beta#2 482 BFP!! M/C 5w3d
FET#1 Cancelled due to uterine fluid and thin lining
FET#1.2Cancelled due to abnormal bleeding
Hysteroscopy 12/28/12 All clear
FET#1.3 2/2013 Cancelled
FET #1.4 3/19 BFFN
Semi natural cycle 5/13 BFN
IVF&FET June 2013
Good Luck to All!!
Crystal
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11-19-2012 at 5:23 PM
eandk18
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I'm so sorry.  Best of luck with your new journey.

TTC since 3/2009
DH: Normal
Me: High prolactin/mild PCOS/irregular cycles
Dec 2012: IVF- Antagonist/Ganirelix protocol due to OHSS risk
ER: 12/4- 14 R, 13 M, 7 F
ET: 12/9- 2 blasts transferred, 2 frozen
BETA: BFP! 12/18-Beta #1-290, 12/21-Beta #2-over 1100 Beta#3 >10,000
IT'S TWINS
Lilypie Pregnancy tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers  
11-19-2012 at 5:28 PM
BzeetyD
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I'm sorry that your road has come to a turning point. I hope the next part of your journey brings you exactly what you want and does it smoothly and happily.

Big hugs.

BzeetyD = 37, Mr. BzeetyD = 43 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2012
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2012

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427




"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!  
11-19-2012 at 6:10 PM
ksfrye
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((BIG hugs Rebecca))  I'm so sorry this happened to you.  

DH and I think we're also headed for adoption.  We went to a seminar the other weekend and since then, I also look at every pregnant woman as a potential birth mom.  Maybe I'll see over in the Adoption board.  :)
Happily married Since May 2008. TTC#1 Since May 2010.
Me: 29, Mild DOR
DH: 31, SE mostly normal, 1st SE morph 5%, 2nd SE morph 15%...yeah!.
BFP July 2011, Natural MC August 2011.
3 cycles of 50mg Clomid = BFN
*New RE* Feb/Mar 2012 100 mg Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN
*3rd RE* April-June -Break Cycles begin prep for IVF by doing 2 Heparin injects daily....fun fun!
IVF #1 - ER 7/19, ET 7/24, 2 beautiful embies transferred. Beta 8/2 = BFN
*New RE...yes again* FET Nov 2012 with our lone ranger = BFFN
RE Suggests Trying IUI Again, Jan. 2013 IUI #2 =BFN
Feb. 2013 IUI #3 = BFP!!!, Beta #1 (15dpIUI) = 90, Beta #2 (17dpIUI) = 210, U/S Scheduled for 3/18
BabyFruit Ticker 
11-19-2012 at 6:25 PM
Julie21613
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I'm so very sorry to hear this.  I so admire your attitude.  I wish you all the best and pray your wait isn't a long one.   You are going to be one hellova mom!  
Me 31, DH 32 TTC summer 2008 Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days Mental health break for 10 months IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever) 7 fertilized transferred 3 Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521 First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12 IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13 3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet. PAIF/SAIF always welcome!  
11-19-2012 at 6:37 PM
vensell
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vensell is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:18 PMNewbie
I'm so sorry! 
Age:30 healthy DH: 32 DX Testicular CA '03(banked sperm) Reoccurance of Testicular CA '10 RPLD.TTC: 6/2012. _______________ 6/12 met with RE advised to go to straight IVF due to quality & amount of sperm banked. 6/26/12 day 3 work up & US~ normal. 7/3/2010 Sono~ Polyps. 8/21/12 DH: PEUS~ No retrograde sperm visible; low testosterone. 9/6/12 hysteroscopy/polyectomy~ Removed 2. Now waiting for next steps to start the process of IVF! November IVF Antagonist protocol/risk of OHSS. ER 11/13 17R/15M/12F ET 11/18 transferred 2 beautiful blasts. 5 frozen embies. Beta 11/27 BFN. FET #1 ET 1/24 of 2 blast. HPT+ 2/1. 2/4 beta #1 286. 2/6 beta#2 692 PAIF/SAIF welcome! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
11-19-2012 at 7:18 PM
brooklynes...
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I'm sorry.  I totally understand why it would feel like a relief to decide to move on.  I'm sure you'll get the family you want through adoption, which is a truly wonderful thing.
Me: 39. DH: 41. TTC since 2009.
FSH: 9.5 at highest. AMH (11/2011): 0.9. AFC: 10ish. HSG: Normal. SA: Normal.
July 2011 - Feb. 2012: 2 Clomid/TI cycles; 3 injectables/IUI cycles. Good response but BFNs.
Dec. 2011: Laparoscopy (clear) + hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyp.

April 2012: IVF #1: FSH 9.2, AFC 7-8. Antagonist protocol.
Started stims (300iu Gonal-F, 150iu Menopur) 3/28.
Added ganirelix 4/1. Trigger 4/5 (7 follies). ER 4/7: 7R, 0M, 0F. :-(

Nov. 2012: IVF #2: Long Lupron protocol.
Started Lupron 10/27. AFC 10+. Started stims (300iu Follistim, 150iu Menopur) 11/8.
Trigger 11/18 (7 follies). ER 11/20: 9R, 1M, 1F. 3dt of my one 6-cell embie on 11/23: BFN.

Dec. 2012: Hail Mary IUI cycle with leftover IVF meds: BFN.

Feb. 2013: IVF #3: Estrogen priming protocol.
Pre-AF: estro patch + ganirelix. AFC 8-10. Started stims (450 Follistim, 150 Menopur) 1/28.
Added ganirelix 2/4. Combined Lupron/HCG trigger 2/10 (6-ish follies).
ET 2/12: 6R, 1M, 1F w/rescue ICSI. My embie didn't make it. :-(

July 2013: DE IVF #1

PAIF/SAIF/PA35 welcome.

Daisypath Anniversary tickers 
11-19-2012 at 8:04 PM
lisagab26
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I am so sorry.  You have an amazing attitude.  And no, I don't think it is bad that you feel relief - you have been through a lot!

Best of luck with your next chapter! 
TTC since May 2010
2/2011 - Initial consultation with RE
4/2011 - DX: IF related to anovulation + MFI
8/2011-11/2011 3 failed IUIs
IVF#1 Jan/Feb 2012-Long Lupron/6ER/6M/3F/0 to transfer
Switched to new RE
IVF#2 April 2012-First time ever BFP!
confirmed blighted ovum d/t tetraploidy @ 7w2d; D&C @ 9w (6/11/12)
IVF #3 October 2012 ER 10/28 9R/8M/3F ET 10/31 2 8 cell Embies
BFP! Beta#1(12dp3dt)=158 Beta#2(14dp3dt)=265 Beta#3(19dp3dt)=1905
**P/SAIF WELCOME**
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11-19-2012 at 10:45 PM
chucktgirl
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish an easier path with adoption ahead for you!

My (old) BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com
TTC since Jan 2010 with OPKs. Me: 41, Hypothyroidism, hetero MTHFR C677T, hetero Factor V Leiden (no previous clots) Dx: DOR due to AMA. Rx: 100mg Levothyroxin, FaBB tab, Spring Valley Prenatal Vitamins, Vitamin D. Hubby: 34, Hyperthyroidism, Fragile X carrier, Great swimmers!
Natural PG 9/27/11; MC at 8wks. Used Cytotec to expel: 1/20/12 (unpleasant)
First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12(4cm unknown mass in upper left of uterus) 2nd Saline Sonogram: 10/2/12 (mass disappeared!) IVF injection class: 10/11/12
IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Progesterone- 0.3. 6 follicles in my right ovary & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in AM. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ in PM. 10/26/12: hCG Trigger IM. ER 10/28/12: 13R, 7M, 6F. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. PGS: All 5 have "severe abnormalities." Devastated. Begged RE for back-to-back IVFs; Started Provera 11/2/12. AF said FU and came anyway, destroying any chance for a Dec IVF. Maxed out lifetime IF meds insurance. I can barely breathe, waiting to get through this process, hoping for my take-home-baby.
IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right ovary & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. 1/16/13: hCG Trigger IM. ER 1/18/13: 9R, 5M, 5F. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. PGS: All embryos have "multiple severe abnormalities." RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the repeated extremely poor quality of my eggs. I don't even know what to do with that.
IVF #3- NEW RE! 100% OOP: 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Progesterone- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ. 3/11/13 ER: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0. 3/16/13 Five day ET: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 Started period a day before beta. BFN.
IVF #4 (FINAL) (Added acupuncture to this cycle.): 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Progesterone- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle & 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ. 4/5/13 ER: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). 4/10/13 Five day ET: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) 4/18/13 Beta: 2.5 BFFN.
No DE or adoption for us, FIRM.
That’s it for us. I am beyond devastated and have no idea how to proceed from here. My life has been forever altered by this experience. Best wishes to all in their journeys! 
11-20-2012 at 8:52 AM
cwoodward7...
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((HUGS))  I am so sorry!  It is okay to feel relief at this point.  IF is a roller coaster, and sometimes we need to get off and find another ride! You are right, pregnancy is not the only way to build a family!  I wish you lots of luck.
My TTC Story:
Me: 38,DH: 46, Married 10/07/2011, TTC since 09/2011, 03/2012 Started Clomid, 04/2012 Clomid, 05/2012 Clomid, 06/2012 Went to RE, he found a plum size fibroid in uterus, husband has low sperm count, 06/06/2012 Removed fibroid, 08/2012 Hysteroscopy, 09/27/2012 started IVF meds, 10/10/2012 Retrieved 8 eggs, 5 fertilized, 10/13/2012 Transferred 3 eggs - 8, 5, and 4 cells, 10/26/2012 BFP!! Beta: 11, 10/26/12 Beta: 2 = Chemical Pregancy
*PAIF/SAIF Welcome*
 
11-20-2012 at 10:11 AM
Km672
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I'm so sorry.
I'm glad you have a bit if relief knowing you're done with treatments, it's so hard. Things become clear to us after we have some time away from appointments, procedures and tests.
Please focus on you and your husband. Take good care of yourselves.
Me (31) DOR/ MH (34) azoo/high DFI TTC#1 since 2009 IVF #1 cancelled dt poor response/ IVF #2 & #3: BFFN/ Natural Surprise BFP, early m/c -endometrial bx & methotrexate administered/ IVF#4:nothing to transfer/ DS IUI#1 BFN/ DS IUI#2 BFN/ IVF#5 (1st w/ DS):another BFFN/ Currently planning on DE and DS cycle Summer 2013. This has to be it- 
11-20-2012 at 2:25 PM
Shea202
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You are amazing!!  You have such a great attitude.  Good luck to you :-)
 
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