I felt the same way! I was emotionally a mess trying to still be the person I was and the mom I am now. I hardly showered due to baby screaming, didnt get to leave very often and DH tried really hard but it just wasnt what I needed when I needed it. Here are a couple of things I did to help me, maybe they could help you too.
Every morning I woke up fed LO and then we went out for a walk. (about 8 am) She screamed the entire time I put her into the car seat and the first 5-10 minutes of the walk, but then she would calm down and be happy and fall asleep. It worked for me because I got exercise, she got fresh air and when she screamed we were outside so no one was around. Usually we would go for about an hour. I also talked to LO most of the time so it was my own little couseling session :)
An added bonus was that she usually stayed asleep for a bit after, so I would walk in the door and jump right in the shower. I brought her in the bathroom in her carseat and I found that the sound of the water kept her asleep. However, there were days she woke up right away and there was no showers....I bought those clensing clothes for those mornings :)~ and would just wait it out til DH got home.
Whether I was able to shower or not, I always put on makeup...just a bit mascara, and foundation...it made me feel more human and some what put together.
then I force myself to take a trip out every day...every if for 1 hour and it took 2 to get ready for it. (we would usually go out about 12-1) I found baby friendly stores like Babies r us and target and I didnt always buy things (I know you said money is tight and I understand) I did these outing merely to get myself out of the house.
Good Luck and I agree with everyone else it really does get better!
Also.....I bought and highly recommend facial clensing clothes for night time....because there are night when there is no time or you are too tired to wash your face!
Oh and for cleaning....I would pick 1 room a day to clean. start with the room that bothers you the most or the room you are in the most. that way when you are in that room you can look around and feel more relaxed. That way it would only be about 20 minutes. There were days that is all I had.