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11-20-2012 at 5:26 PM
pamperedgi...
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pamperedgirl83 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:42 PMBronze

dealing with overly cautious in laws

my in-laws are driving me nuts. they are making me feel like I'm a fragile china doll. that shouldn't be doing anything. when i went to the store with my mil she made a big deal about me getting the toilet cleaner and just putting it in the cart. "i shouldn't be handling chemicals". ITS SEALED.then we were rearraning our shed. my husband did all the heavy moving. i went to hand him a box that maybe weighs 10 lbs... they said i shouldnt be moving that. its to heavy in your condition. then they didnt want me bending down to pick up the same size box from the ground. im stubborn (and they know it) and know my limits. then our bathroom sink was clogged. so i got the drain cleaner and was headed to the bathroom. she told me that i shouldnt be doing that. and that chris (hubby) should do it because i need to stay away from chemicals. i told her all i was going to do was open the window turn the fan on and pour it. shut the door and leave it. she made my husband do it. then when it needed to be flushed down with hot water. she made a fuss about me pouring hot water down the drain because it will stir up the chemicals. even though i had the window open and the fan going. i hate being told that i shouldnt or cant do something.  im still very capable of doing most things at this point.

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11-20-2012 at 5:44 PM
rpalen29
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I feel the same way. I was over my MIL's the other day and we were in her car; she went extra slow to the grocery store because we're carrying "precious cargo". I still clean, and i actually used drain cleaner the other day, you pour it really quick, turn the fan on and walk away for 15 mins, then put the hot water on. no biggie. 

I just recently lost my job; I was a scientists assistant handling chemicals, ect. And I just had an interview; and they knew from the get-go that I was pregnant; so they were pointing out all the chemicals are in hoods, and you'll get short breaks, ect. It's nice that they pointed it out; but if I ever had an issue with stuff like that, i'd let someone know. I felt like I was being treated differently.  


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11-20-2012 at 5:52 PM
pamperedgi...
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pamperedgirl83 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:42 PMBronze
and i hate it when people say "in your condition"... it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because i'm pregnant.

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11-20-2012 at 6:21 PM
kimmarie11...
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It is annoying. I just flip it to work in my favor. I haven't vacuumed, done dishes, cleaned the bathroom or carried a laundry basket since I got a BFP. Hubby does it all :)

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11-20-2012 at 6:23 PM
betheny
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don't you just want to scream - "women used to cross the entire country in a covered wagon and squat in a field to give birth! i am pretty sure i can move a box or ride in a car or etc... etc..." good grief some people act like you are the first woman to ever give birth

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11-20-2012 at 7:30 PM
kfarmer92
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pamperedgirl83:
and i hate it when people say "in your condition"... it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because i'm pregnant.


This!
 
11-20-2012 at 9:56 PM
adamscowgu...
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My MIL is NUTS!!!!! she tells me what to eat... god forbid I use salt.... "OMG STOP STOP!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? STOP!!!" was the reaction when I put some salt on my potatoes.. "are you taking your prenatal?" "You can't have a midwife!!!" "are you f***ing kidding, you can't have a home birth, I said no to the midwife" (I had told her that I was still delivering in the hospital but she has in her head that midwife=home birth. But I work as a custodian, and I work with chemicals every day, she hasn't said a word about that....
 
11-21-2012 at 7:25 AM
CBL23
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I don't know why people think you can't do anything because your pregnant?  My FIL wanted to carry a container of soup to my car.  Apparently the little thing of tupperware is just too heavy for a pregnant woman to carry?  Seriously?????  And when I refused to let him I was told that my head is as hard as concrete. 
 
11-21-2012 at 7:43 AM
bhjones198...
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Could be worse... My DH asked me to help him move a couch up from the basement last night...

he got the serious side eye for that!

I helped all right, I helped direct him how to move it!


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11-21-2012 at 10:07 AM
PansyPants
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I completely understand the desire to do the things we're still capable of at at this point it sounds like you're being safe and thoughtful about what you do. It's not like you were rubbing drain cleaner all over your hands, you aren't even touching it!

However!

Do listen to the over protective folks during postpartum. I didn't and now I wish that I had sat my fanny in bed and done nothing for a week or more. Healing and recovery took a long time and stayed painful for a while. Even though I felt able to be up and about, I think it would have been easier on my body if I had listened to my mom and only gotten out of bed to use the ladies room.

My random advice for the day. 


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11-21-2012 at 10:26 AM
lizbith
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bhjones1980:

Could be worse... My DH asked me to help him move a couch up from the basement last night...

he got the serious side eye for that!

I helped all right, I helped direct him how to move it!

 This sounds more like my household! lol "Why can't you take the bikes dowstairs to hang them for the winter?" Srsly.


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11-21-2012 at 10:34 AM
pamperedgi...
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pamperedgirl83 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:42 PMBronze
i know that they mean well. and i appreciate their concern. but it makes me feel like a child... "don't do this..." "you cant do that.." "you shouldn't..."i want to be able to do what i can now (within my limits) because i know that it wont be long before i may not be able to do even what seems like simple things. i don't like to ask for help unless i really need it. its nice to know that im not alone...and thanks for the advice PansyPants!  happy thanksgiving!

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11-21-2012 at 12:11 PM
Chocodoxie...
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Are you complaining because you have a very helpful and caring family who want you to take it easy? Because if that is the case that seems pretty silly...

And you should not be handling Drain-O.  


Lost but never forgotten <3 :
1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks;
2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07;
3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks;
4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum;
5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks;
6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow
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11-21-2012 at 12:44 PM
kgs0505
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I also hate being told I can't or shouldn't do something. But truthfully you are being a little oversensitive. These people clearly care about you and this is how they feel connected to you and the pregnancy. As annoying as some of this is, just remember that it comes from a good place. And enjoy the help while you have it!

TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we movied on to adoption!
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11-21-2012 at 2:00 PM
drewiekc
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Its annoying, but nothing to get worked up over.  Just smile and say "my doctor has told me this activity is perfectly safe for me" and continue what you're doing.

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11-26-2012 at 4:20 PM
pamperedgi...
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pamperedgirl83 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:42 PMBronze
i know that this is their way of letting me know that they care about me and the baby, and i know that i'm probably over reacting (most of the time i am over reacting)....but it still annoys the hell out of me...

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