What exccuse can the nurse give to my parents? My parents can get pretty intense and will fight tooth in nail to get in I just dont want them kicked out of the hospital. :(
my husband sees how stressed I am about it and he told me he will call my mom today and let her know we want just us for the delivery. He said he doesnt care if she gets mad at him he just doesnt want her yelling at me and stressing me out. I want to tell my mother but I already know how thats going to end i'm a walking waterfall I'm so sensitive now I cant handle fighting anymore especially with my mom. My dads going to throw me into a guilt trip and knowing them they will threaten not to even show after I deliver they act like children when they don't get what they want I REALLY DONT want to make my mom cry my mom holds a grudge like no other and I already know what shell say shell tell me I'll never forgive you for not having me there when you deliver I'll take it to my death bed my mom always says something similiar to that about my sister running away with her now husband which happened 4 years ago I CAN imagine what she'll say now!
The nurse doesn't need to give an excuse, they'll just say that no one is welcome in the L&D room, but that they'll be able to go back once you get settled in postpartum or something like that. They're not really there to mediate things like this, but for security reasons you do have the right to ask that no one be let back and the front desk people will enforce this. If your mom tries to fight them, that's her issue, there's not much you can do to control how she reacts, but this is another reason why I wouldn't put the responsibility on the hospital to inform her she's not welcome. I would be angry if I were her and expected to be there only to show up and be told that I'm not welcome by a staff member of the hospital.
Honestly, my mother sounds a lot like yours and you need to get a backbone. I don't enjoy the drama or the bickering either, so I don't engage it. Like I said, next time it comes up I would just state that our intentions is for it just to be us and that's it. If she tries to cause a big scene or guilt trip you, etc. just shut it down. Say that you're sorry that she's upset about it, but that the important thing is she will be there to visit once baby is actually here and you're most comfortable with your H being the only one there. She doesn't really have the right to be upset, but like I said, she sounds like my mother and I'm sure she probably will try to make it a big issue. Just don't engage it. You can't control how she reacts, but you can control your part in the situation, which is to be straightforward with her and then let that be the end of it.
FWIW, I wasn't sure if I wanted my mom present last time. I ended up calling her to come because I found that I did want her and I'm glad she was there. This time around it will be just MH and I because we're doing things differently (natural birth, using Hypnobabies, my MW will also be present the entire time) and just because I really need everyone on board with our birthing plans and there's going to be a lot of concentration needed on my part, we're keeping attendance to a minimum. This isn't a reflection on my mom, just that things are different this time and I need focus more than I need extra people there. When I told her that it would just be MH and I she wasn't happy about it and made comments about being upset, but honestly I ignored her. I had already explained why we were doing it this way this time and she can either choose to accept and respect that or she can be upset about it. It doesn't change the circumstances and there isn't much I can do about it. I'm not going to let her bring negativity to the situation.