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11-22-2012 at 10:30 AM
minervacul...
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Things my mom has said to me so far

She got here last night.

"OMG! You're HUGE!" 

"If I were you I'd tell them to take that thing out of you right now"

psychotic laughter followed by "You waddle like a penguin"

"I don't even think I was that big with twins" followed by an evil smile. BTW she totally was.

"Pull your shirt down, it isn't covering your belly" me "It doesn't cover it no matter how much I pull it down" followed by the side eye.

"Wow I haven't felt this small in a long time." 

To be fair she has severe body issues, so I know why she's saying that stuff. Also I know this about her so it really doesn't bother me too much. But if it was someone else they'd be beaten to a pulp.


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11-22-2012 at 10:38 AM
cowgirltu
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Body issues or not, there's no excuse for that kind of rudeness.  She is being just mean.  Im glad your not letting it bother you.

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11-22-2012 at 10:57 AM
amcourt09
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Sigh Moms. I feel your pain...
11-22-2012 at 11:25 AM
CocoR04
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Holidays are the BEST! ;)  My mom is very critical about appearances/weight, but she has the backhanded compliments, passive aggressive statements, and head-to-toe looks down pat.  It's made me extremely self-conscious to the point where I worry about what I'll wear or how much I weigh when I see her.  

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11-22-2012 at 12:24 PM
Thea11
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You are so understanding!  I would be more than a little annoyed by those comments.  My Mom is the opposite, she always talks about what a whale she was when pregnant and how good I look.  But she is one of those people that always mentions how she worked out that day, or what exercise she did, which I find kind of braggy and annoying.

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11-22-2012 at 12:26 PM
mejane123
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 Yeah my mom likes to say stuff to me all the time, but it's generally not about how I look, just how I'm feeling. For example: 

"You're out of breath because you're out of shape." Nevermind my heart was getting used to pumping 50% more blood and all my organs were shifting against my lungs.

 "The baby wouldn't kick you in the ribs if you didn't slouch" So every woman who gets kicked in the ribs has lousy posture?

 "So you're basically eating nothing but junk?" as I sat down ONCE to eat three pretzel bites with cheese.  

"I NEVER had that problem" in response to everything I say. Apparently I never kicked her hard, she never had problems sleeping, she never had back pain, never got out of breath, never got tired from her VERY demanding job that involved heavy lifting, never had BH or RLP, and I'm basically a big fat pu$$y for being bothered by these things.  

It drives me nuts. At first the talk about symptoms seemed like a good bonding experience, but I quickly got over that once the high and mighty came out.  

 Oh, and a woman I work with told me I need to stop trying to gain weight because she only gained 20 lbs with both her kids. I've gained 26. STFU.  

 
11-22-2012 at 12:43 PM
graciesmur...
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If you have expressed that these comments hurt your feelings and she says them anyway than my responses to these:

"OMG! You're HUGE!"  "Wow! you got so much bigger too!"

"If I were you I'd tell them to take that thing out of you right now" "If I were you I'd keep my opinions to myself"

psychotic laughter followed by "You waddle like a penguin" "You look like a horse"

"I don't even think I was that big with twins" followed by an evil smile. BTW she totally was. "But you're that big now?"

"Pull your shirt down, it isn't covering your belly" "Pull your shirt up, it isn't covering your face"

"Wow I haven't felt this small in a long time." Sarcastically, "Can't imagine why"

 

I hate people who comment on my weight gain/size/belly negativly.  Hopefully it's a short visit.


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11-22-2012 at 1:17 PM
sugargal
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Glad you are taking it in such stride!  And I love some of the comebacks from PP's.  I have an aunt who says very similar things for very similar body image issues. At my shower she was standing beside me and said "wow I feel so much better now that I don't have the biggest stomach around" and everyone at the shower jumped at her and said "She's PREGNANT!"  like back off and she hasn't said anything since.  It's hard when you know they say things to make themselves feel better but doesn't mean they should hurt you by it.   Send some of your patience my way!!
 
11-22-2012 at 2:07 PM
Runaway22
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You are taking it exceptionally well. Those are some seriously rude comments. Especially the penguin one. I don't even know what I'd do.

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11-22-2012 at 3:29 PM
PatsyGK21
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I got the 'ol, "I dont know what's more stuffed, the turkey or Patsy!" by my aunt, who is notorious for having no filter. Followed by her saying, "I only gained 17 lbs with your cousin, you looked like you gained twice that already!," which she loves talking about how she only gained 17 lbs, she has said it like 48 times since i've been here and says it everytime me or one of my cousins get pregnant!...then, "Are you sure he is gonna hold out till january?" Gotta love the holidays! Hang in there.


 
11-22-2012 at 5:05 PM
imnoemilyd...
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Wow that is so mean. I hope I never treat my daughter like that no matter what issues I have.

 
11-22-2012 at 5:30 PM
BLuvsE
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Ooh...me too!

'Even your nose looks pregnant.'

'You can't walk the dog, you're top heavy.'

'My dog weighs 8 lbs. Imagine her inside you.'

'I read pain in childbirth registers on the pain chart second only to burning alive. So when it gets really bad, just think to yourself this could be worse. I could be burning alive.'

While I was bouncing on my exercise ball 'That baby's going to fall out. And be born with shaken baby syndrome.'

To my brother on the phone checking on me 'I don't know how she feels, but she looks rough. Way worse than yesterday.'

'What's that crap on your chin?' I always break out on my chin if I drink milk. And she always asks what it is in front of at least five people.

 
11-22-2012 at 7:38 PM
LittleLuvB...
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imnoemilydickinson:
Wow that is so mean. I hope I never treat my daughter like that no matter what issues I have.


This.

"Wow, talk about HEAVY with child!"
My grandmother, who I seriously hope gets run over by a reindeer this Christmas.

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11-22-2012 at 8:33 PM
abbieaggie
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You are taking it very well, I'm mad all day when my MIL sees me and every time she says, wow you are even bigger than last time I saw you.  Um yeah, its called pregnancy, I believe you are suppose to get bigger and bigger until the end.  There is a human being growing in there.  Ugh
 
11-22-2012 at 8:35 PM
mejane123
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BLuvsE:
'What's that crap on your chin?' I always break out on my chin if I drink milk. And she always asks what it is in front of at least five people.

My mom ALWAYS points out crap like this.  

I broke out majorly, too, and she just likes to say things like, "You need to make sure you're washing your face" (I've done this since I was 14 religiously) or "You have to make sure you're not eating crappy food" when she sees me drink a soda, because that indicates I eat nothing but crap.  

She also likes to point out to DH how swollen I look, too.  My toes and fingers are SLIGHTLY swollen, but to her I've blown up like a blowfish.  

But with her it's even when I'm not pregnant.  I'm very small-chested, and instead of just realizing this fact, she likes to tell me I "have to actually LIFT the breast and put it IN the cup" when it comes to putting on a bra or bathing suit top.  It's like she can't wrap her head around me being boob-challenged and thinks I just don't know how to dress myself.  

 
11-23-2012 at 2:03 AM
kristenhda...
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That sucks that she's saying that stuff to you. I'm getting comments too but most of them are fun. My friend called me a double wide last weekend, but he's a big ol' queen and that's how he expresses his love.

Try not to let it get to you too much. Just remember you're doing something amazing!

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11-23-2012 at 8:44 AM
amdagny
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I guess I should cut my mom some slack.  All she's done to annoy me is try to shake up the baby to get her to kick.  Seriously?!  Now she is barred from touching my belly. 
 
11-23-2012 at 10:04 AM
eleventhir...
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I can't believe your mom would say things like that too you.  I'm so sorry you had to deal with it.  Last night, as I was getting ready to leave my inlaws, MIL and H's niece were watching me wrestle to put my shoes on and laughing hysterically.  I was livid just at that, (and I accept that I probably did look ridiculous) and I'm sorry you had to deal with such horrible comments.

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11-23-2012 at 5:09 PM
firewife19...
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I don't let the "you're getting so big" or "you're bigger than when I saw you two days ago" comments bother me, because I know they are related to my growing belly and not my overall physique.  Besides, they are true :)

 However, if anyone in my life made the kind of comments your mother has, I would NOT spend time with them.  Rude behavior, especially from those who are supposed to be loved ones, is a dealbreaker.  Eventually she will learn that if she wants to spend time with you, she has to keep her nasty comments and looks to herself.  If she refuses to do so, frankly, I think you're better off without her.

My own mother is very limited and we do not have a close relationship, so I consider my MIL to be my surrogate.  She does all the "mom" stuff I wish my own mom would do.  Sometimes life is funny that way. 

11-24-2012 at 11:57 PM
weddedwife
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Indifferent



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