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11-22-2012 at 8:28 PM
mary35699
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Update on my lovely cousins Baby Shower (long)

So some of you might remember a little while ago I posted about how I was lucky enough to get one the the prestigious invites to my cousin baby shower. Yes just me and her other 80 odd closest facebook friends. Its was branded as cocktails and Hors d'oeuvre.

Well I attended it the other night and I though I should give you ladies an update. This will be long which is why I haven't posted it yet even though I attended Sunday evening.

What to say oh what to say, it was nothing more then I expected. 

My poor mother spent hours baking and cooking things to bring,  so we went not only with gifts but a ton of food to boot. We got there and were greeted by a stranger. I had to ask where to hang my coat (I had never been to the hostess house before). I carried my gift and other guest (some whom were elderly and others who have physical disabilities) down the stairs to where the gifts where to be placed (upon instructions from the stranger). I ran into my aunt (the mother of the MTB) down there, her major concern seemed to be did anyone place a sign on the downstairs toilet about not flushing paper. Ok.

Next we waited in the living room upstairs  with someone else none of us knew to be instructed to write messages on diapers. ? Then we over heard from another guest that there was a door prize we should put our name in so I set out to find that. The entire evening I was not introduce by the hostess or the MTB to anyone.

Once I returned from locating the door prize entry bag, the place was already getting a bit over filled. They invited over 90 people to a house.

It was time to eat, everything was cold, cold spring rolls, cold wings, cold sausage rolls, cold chili (apparently someone forgot to turn it on), cold chicken bits,  oh wait there was hot meatballs. And at the end of the night we found out there was hot food covered up in a slow cooker in the corner. There was at least a lot of food (sandwiches, cheese, meats, crackers, dips, sweets, etc) mind you my mother and other aunts of the MTB brought a fair amount of it.

While eating I went to get drinks for myself, mom and some aunts. The selection was soda, wine, or various strange concoctions in punch bowls that no one was informed what they contained. I settled for soda and brought it back to the rest. It was not cold which is fine for me and my sensitive teeth but was not a hit with the others. One aunt wanted ice water so I set off to find some, I found the mother of the MTB in the kitchen and asked about ice water for her SIL. She looked at me "Ummmm, maybe tap water." Ok, keep in mind this is her other daughters house she know where everything is. But fine I brought back a glass of tap water that was anything but cold even thought I let it run.

So we are sitting in the living room eating and its opened concept so we can see into the kitchen when the hostess comes to open the window as her friends in the kitchen are  warm. My mother and another aunt are sat right in front of the window on the limited seating, so mom says if you open that we are going to be cold. My cousin "the hostess" tells mom and my aunt if they are cold then they will have to move. My sister jumps in and say that she doesn't think thats very fair, the hostess screws up her face "...." facial expression varies and walks away. Another side note is there are windows and a door in the kitchen.

 So I went downstairs at this point as there was less people down there and no family members (read hostess, MTB or mother of the MTB).  Apparently when I was downstairs the hostess and the MTB started playing secret games in the kitchen that my mother had to interject herself into as no-one not the hostess and MTB friends were invited to play. Oh I mean no-one not in the kitchen was invited to play.

Then came gifts where everyone who wanted to watch (almost everyone) had to squeeze into a narrow room, the MTB got a *** load. While she opened we played baby gift bingo (you know where you write down what you think she will get and play bingo as she opens the gifts) well the top of the sheet said there was one prize for straight line, one for four corners and one for a full card. But when a close friend of the hostess got the second four corners there was an extra prize. 

At the end of the shower mom (and me cause I was her ride) had to stay to clean up a bit so we did. I was happy to leave.

The next day my mother got a call from the MTB to thank her for coming and bring food, and for the gifts. Then she was asked to pass it on to me and my sister. 

So to summaries I was out $30+ for my gift (mom and sister gave there own) and 3 hours of my life.  I love have to attend family functions.

 
11-22-2012 at 8:33 PM
mary35699
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Sorry guys don't know why it posted twice and the bump won't let me delete either.
 
11-23-2012 at 1:30 AM
rhubarb123
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Wow...do you think the phone call to your mom is supposed to be a "thank you" for ALL of you?  Not even from the MTB?  Weird.
 
11-23-2012 at 8:42 AM
mary35699
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rhubarb123:
Wow...do you think the phone call to your mom is supposed to be a "thank you" for ALL of you?  Not even from the MTB?  Weird.

The call was from the MTB and I know it is for all three of us. I was not expecting a thank you card/note, because no one around here does those. However I was expecting my own call, though I should have known it was unlikely since the MTB said less then 6 words to me the whole evening.

 
11-23-2012 at 11:38 AM
Crispity
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Sorry, but I don't see anything that terrible about this shower. So your mom and other aunts made food for their niece's shower (gasp!), and there was lots of food and a variety of drinks (although you didn't like any of it, apparently). And there were people you didn't know there?! And one of them spoke to you and directed you where to put the gifts?! How awful!

It does sound like there were a lot more people there than I would have personally wanted to host, but it doesn't sound like there was a huge space issue from your very detailed litany of complaints. You must really dislike this cousin to be this bent out of shape about her shower.

As for the phone call, I would think the phone call was an extra thanks to your mom for helping out so much with the food, assuming she was going to write thank you notes later. If she truly isn't going to write thank you notes, than yes, it is definitely rude to expect your mom to pass thanks along rather than thanking you herself. This is your only legitimate complaint, IMO.

 


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11-23-2012 at 11:42 AM
mabenner1
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It sounds to me like you spend the entire time looking for things to complain about.


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11-24-2012 at 3:38 PM
TwilightMV
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Agree with pps. You sound hard to please.

 
11-24-2012 at 4:12 PM
mrsmcdonal...
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I agree with PP - it seems you were looking for things to complain about. it sounds like a typical shower. Seriously - you complained about the temperature of the tap water, for goodness sake. Just put some ice in it. And that you had to get your own food and talk to people you didn't know - the horror! Imagine that almost everyone wanted to watch her open presents - isn't that what the shower is about? And I don't think I've ever expected a MTB to have an in depth conversation with me at her shower - there's a lot going on.

If the MTB knew how petty you are/were being, she probably would have wished you stayed home. 


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11-25-2012 at 8:45 AM
Tpippins01
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I disagree. I don't think you were looking for things to complain about. In my opinion it sounds like you weren't very welcomed by anyone at that shower. Yes there were probably something's that may not have been that big of a deal, but by then it sounds like you were already so annoyed that anything would have bothered you. Personally I do expect the MTB to have a conversation with her guests. You didn't have to come, bring a gift, or help clean up. Not saying a convo where you are reminiscing about your childhood, but more than six words would have been nice for your cousin. 
 
11-25-2012 at 9:08 AM
kimmarie11...
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You sound bitter and jealous. The shower sounded nice and relaxing. How nice of your mom to bring food for her niece. How sweet of you to help clean up. She must be a nice girl if so many people wanted and did attend her shower and bring such lovely gifts!

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11-25-2012 at 11:53 AM
Runner1981
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I'm not saying that I think this was a perfect shower, but yeah, it sounds like you don't like your cousin much to begin with so you probably should have declined and done both of you a big favor. If you acted half as annoyed as you sound over every thing that didn't go right or didnt live up to your standards, I'm not surprised she didn't talk to you. 

Cold food, moderately temped beverages, limited seating- all annoying. But you don't come across as liking your cousin much to begin with, and the feeling might be mutual. Which might have had something to do with her attitude towards you. 

  


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11-25-2012 at 7:01 PM
laurakaz13
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mabenner1:

It sounds to me like you spend the entire time looking for things to complain about.

This is exactly what I was thinking while reading this.  I can't really see anything horrible about this shower at all. 


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11-26-2012 at 12:30 AM
Damask23
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It sure doesn't sound like the most intimate and inviting shower. However, at the same time, if it were my cousin, I'd be looking for ways to make the best out of it instead of taking notes of how much I hated it the whole time. I don't understand people who attend parties with expectations of what they should get out of it. If it was what your cousin wanted, be happy for her and get your favorite foods on your own dime later.

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11-26-2012 at 2:42 PM
ggatlanta
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Other than the 90-person FB invite list (from which I gather there were no printed invitations), none of this is rude. From your description, it wasn't the best-planned shower in the history of mankind, but since there was enough food and drink it couldn't have been the worst either.

To me, this shower falls into the category of "not a blast but not the worst".  Even if all you say is true I would not have been upset enough to write such a long post about it. I think there must be more to the story. Do you have an issue with your cousin in general, I wonder?


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11-26-2012 at 7:16 PM
Spacebunny...
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It does seem like you were looking for problems.

Yes, having games where not everyone is included is rude, but that was all I thought was problematic.  Honestly, I'm not a fan of huge showers, but most of the other "issues" sound secondary to having a lot of people in a small space.  

I think the phone call to your mom was nice, and last I heard, you have a little time to send a thank you note, right?  Before complaining about not getting personally thanked, I'd give it some time to see if a nice card arrives. 


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11-27-2012 at 8:02 PM
mary35699
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Sorry I haven't checked back lately been a busy week. For those of you who say I don't care for my cousin I will be perfectly honest that is a bit of an understatement. We never have gotten along but I felt obligated to go.

I understand some of you might not find it rude, but I do. I go to a place that I have never been before the person at the door is not someone I know or who knows us. Neither the MTB or the hostess greeted us or said "XXXX so nice of you to come" or vertually anything else. And we were pointed told by the hostess if we were cold we should move. Which would be fine if we had choose to sit where a window was already opened, but I don't feel its acceptable when she opened the window in the living room so that the people in the kitchen could be comfortable . 

I find it rude that when asked for ice water I was told that there was tap when later they were using ice from the dispenser (I didn't pry when I asked for ice and was told tap, I did not ask again for ice. After all who knows maybe the ice-maker in the fridge is broken or not connected)

One last note I don't think it was fair that there was not enough room for everyone to be in one place, but then to start playing games in one room without telling anyone else that there were games being played in the kitchen.

I would also like to say that I would never be rude to my cousin or criticize her function around her friends. I was polite and civil throughout the evening even through the highlight was a rousing game of balloon catch I played with a 3 year old. However I am entitled to my opinions and I feel that my attendance was not appreciated and that overall there was a lack of consideration from the MTB and hostess over how the guest (at least myself and my family) were treated.

 
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