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11-25-2012 at 10:51 PM
chucktgirl
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Joined on 06-01-2006
Michigan
1,072 Posts
19,963 Points
chucktgirl is not online. Last active: 04-18-2013, 4:43 PMBronze

What's wrong with me?

We've had this big dilemma about whether or not we want to proceed with IVF#2 doing a 3 Day Transfer (if there is anything to transfer) and skipping the PGD. My husband and I strongly want the PGD, so we have not commited to this yet. BUT...while waiting until the end of December to start my next cycle, we just tried to conceive naturally. Basically the same thing as proceeding without PGD. What is wrong with me that I am still hoping for a natural miracle baby?! Ugh. Makes me mad at myself.


My (old) BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com
TTC since Jan 2010 with OPKs. Me: 41, Hypothyroidism, hetero MTHFR C677T, hetero Factor V Leiden (no previous clots) Dx: DOR due to AMA. Rx: 100mg Levothyroxin, FaBB tab, Spring Valley Prenatal Vitamins, Vitamin D. Hubby: 34, Hyperthyroidism, Fragile X carrier, Great swimmers!
Natural PG 9/27/11; MC at 8wks. Used Cytotec to expel: 1/20/12 (unpleasant)
First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12(4cm unknown mass in upper left of uterus) 2nd Saline Sonogram: 10/2/12 (mass disappeared!) IVF injection class: 10/11/12
IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Progesterone- 0.3. 6 follicles in my right ovary & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in AM. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ in PM. 10/26/12: hCG Trigger IM. ER 10/28/12: 13R, 7M, 6F. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. PGS: All 5 have "severe abnormalities." Devastated. Begged RE for back-to-back IVFs; Started Provera 11/2/12. AF said FU and came anyway, destroying any chance for a Dec IVF. Maxed out lifetime IF meds insurance. I can barely breathe, waiting to get through this process, hoping for my take-home-baby.
IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right ovary & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. 1/16/13: hCG Trigger IM. ER 1/18/13: 9R, 5M, 5F. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. PGS: All embryos have "multiple severe abnormalities." RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the repeated extremely poor quality of my eggs. I don't even know what to do with that.
IVF #3- NEW RE! 100% OOP: 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Progesterone- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ. 3/11/13 ER: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0. 3/16/13 Five day ET: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 Started period a day before beta. BFN.
IVF #4 (FINAL) (Added acupuncture to this cycle.): 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Progesterone- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle & 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ. 4/5/13 ER: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). 4/10/13 Five day ET: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) 4/18/13 Beta: 2.5 BFFN.
No DE or adoption for us, FIRM.
That’s it for us. I am beyond devastated and have no idea how to proceed from here. My life has been forever altered by this experience. Best wishes to all in their journeys! 
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11-26-2012 at 6:44 AM
Shea202
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Joined on 10-17-2012
59 Posts
1,305 Points
Shea202 is not online. Last active: 02-14-2013, 2:36 PMNewbie

We all hope for a natural pregnancy... Don't be mad for having the same feelings alot of us do.  I know i wish i could concieve naturally... it would save on alot of money!  Money i could use to start a college fund for.  I will say this... you should take the time you need to.  Don't rush if your not ready.

Good luck to you!!
 
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11-26-2012 at 9:33 AM
rrdiva1
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Joined on 08-30-2011
5,478 Posts
22,035 Points
rrdiva1 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:33 AMSilver
Awe, don't beat yourself. Big hugs, I hate big decisions!
Married BF 6/29/2002/ TTC Since Aug 2011/ ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/ IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2) IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29 stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan Antagonist protacol again Everyone welcome!! My Chart//> Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
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11-26-2012 at 10:19 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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Joined on 06-15-2009
7,149 Posts
32,671 Points
Mrs.McIrish is online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 2:57 PMGold
Nothing is wrong with you.  You never know when a "good egg" will drop and it can be naturally just as much as it can be with IVF. Unfortunately, that is what happens with age. I've seen plenty of natural pgs with ladies around 40 that failed IVF.  

TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
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11-26-2012 at 11:03 AM
Julie21613
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Joined on 06-05-2012
1,331 Posts
22,319 Points
Julie21613 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:49 AMBronze
I agree with pp.  I'm in between cycles now and I was still hugely disappointed when AF arrived, right on schedule.  There is nothing wrong with hoping for a natural pregnancy.  We all do.  I won't be cycling again till the first of the year.  I know I will be just as disappointed again when AF arrives in December.  Don't beat yourself up.  IF sucks. 
Me 31, DH 32 TTC summer 2008 Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days Mental health break for 10 months IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever) 7 fertilized transferred 3 Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521 First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12 IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13 3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet. PAIF/SAIF always welcome!  
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11-26-2012 at 11:44 AM
Scoop77
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Joined on 08-10-2011
1,032 Posts
10,380 Points
Scoop77 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 3:10 PMBronze
Everyone's right, there's nothing wrong with you. Of course you'd prefer a natural pregnancy that comes thousands of dollars cheaper and with no medication and lower stress. You have a month so you're using it. Don't be so hard on yourself!

TTC #1 for about 3.5 years
ME: 37, PCO, immune issues?, teflon uterus (my added diagnosis)
HIM: 38, Perfect. (Showoff.)
Month before starting Clomid, spontaneous pregnancy. m/c at 7 weeks and D&C.
Four months of Clomid, one IUI, with Intralipid each cycle: BFNs all
IVF 1.0 July 2012 -- Lupron, bravelle, menopur, estrogen, progesterone supps, intralipid. 14 ER, 14 fertilized, 1 blast transferred, 2 on ice. BFN
FET 1.1 -- 10/2, transferred our 2 blasts. Lupron, PIO, estrogen, baby aspirin, prednisone. BFN.
IVF 2.0 December 2012 -- Bravelle, Menopur, Ganirelix, Prednisone, Metformin, estrogen, progesterone supps. 22 eggs retrieved on 12/14, 17 mature, 15 fertilized. OHSS anticipated so ET cancelled. 3 embryos frozen.
Broke up with old RE. Moving on to new dude. Maybe the change of scenery will be just the trick for our frosties. On BCPs for possible April FET.

P/SAIF welcome 
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