community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
11-27-2012 at 2:11 PM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie

I know I should just be thankful

So my sister and my mom have offered to host my shower.  I am having twins and everything I have read says that earlier is better to have the shower.  I am due on April 4th but I know that I will probably have them no later than mid-March.  I explained this to them and suggested we have the shower Jan 19th (Matrin Luther King Weekend) I would be about 30 weeks.  Well, they both called and said that they would like to push the shower out to maybe February 16th (President's Day weekend),   I feel like that is way too late to be having my shower.  I know I should just be thankful that they are having this party for me but I am so worried that I will be miserable. 

I told them to choose another date if they want and worst case my husband will go in my place. 

 Do I sound unreasonable?


 Pregnancy Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 2:22 PM
pnutg
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-15-2012
42,938 Points
pnutg is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 11:22 AMSilver
No, you should definitely have a say in that decision. Im sure you dont want to risk not being there. Its being held for you, the mother to be!

-1st BFP 5/24/12, EDD 1/25/13, MMC 6/19/12 at 8 weeks, D&C 6/29/12 -2nd BFP 9/15/12, EDD 5/20/13, It's a boy! C's birthdate is 5/22/13 www.peanut-gallerie.blogspot.com 
11-27-2012 at 2:23 PM
mabenner1
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-23-2008
64,415 Points
mabenner1 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 2:53 PMGold
To me personally, yes. I was 36 weeks at my shower, and was HUGE, but had a blast. Honestly, you sit in a chair, eat food, talk, and open gifts. It isn't strenuous. February is plenty of time.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 2:36 PM
jasminelor...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-12-2012
4,607 Points
jasminelorraine20 is not online. Last active: 06-13-2013, 5:59 PMBronze
I agree with a PP that you sound unreasonable. I agree that February is plenty of time, and most likely you will enjoy yourself- don't worry about anything.

It's been an amazing year with my pride & joy, Elijah Michael Houston.

 
11-27-2012 at 2:39 PM
MelRC117
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-27-2012
73,681 Points
MelRC117 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:23 PMSilver

Comfort is eh, if you aren't comfortable sitting at a chair, then it doesn't really matter where you are.  However, since you are having twins, you may have to give them the heads up you might not be there.  I don't know details about your preg or your age, but one of my coworker friends had BP problems towards the end of her pregnancy suddenly with her twins and at week 30 was put on bed rest.  2 weeks later she went into labor.  Again, your pregnancy could be completely different and you could last until week 40, you just never know! 


Image and video hosting by TinyPic  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 2:42 PM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
41,473 Points
EastCoastBride is online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:51 PMPlatinum
For the fact that it's twins, I get where you're coming from.  I'd talk to them more about it and just explain that twins are higher risk and often go early.  while you clearly HOPE mid-march at the earliest, you have no clue. If you do the Feb date, there is a higher chance that you might not be able to actually be there.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

11-27-2012 at 2:44 PM
Amanda&Eri...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-17-2011
11,869 Points
Amanda&EricB is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:00 PMSilver
Even with twins, it's unlikely that Feb 16th will be too late. I'd just go with it, with everybody having the knowledge that you may not be able to go, if things get dicey with the pregnancy.

Wyatt 9/6/2011 Expecting #2 July 2013!!!
 BabyFruit Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 3:15 PM
Ladiebug71...
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-21-2011
41,580 Points
Ladiebug710 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:08 PMGold
I think February is plenty of time.

BFP#1 10 wk missed mc BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12  
11-27-2012 at 3:28 PM
aeh72
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-05-2008
10,831 Points
aeh72 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 2:19 PMBronze
I don't think your concerns are unreasonable (I would be feeling the same way in your place), but mid February should still give you plenty of time assuming you don't go on bed rest or deliver early.  Are they trying to plan the shower specifically for a holiday weekend?  If so, one school of thought with showers and other "events" is to avoid holiday weekends because people frequently already have other plans - sometimes travel plans - for long weekends. So, perhaps another weekend between those two dates might be a good compromise if you find a day that works for you and your mom and sister.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 3:29 PM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie

mabenner1:
To me personally, yes. I was 36 weeks at my shower, and was HUGE, but had a blast. Honestly, you sit in a chair, eat food, talk, and open gifts. It isn't strenuous. February is plenty of time.

 

I guess I was just more concerned since I am having twins and my doctor told me she won't let me go past 37 weeks (38 if I am lucky but very doubtful).  Hopefully, I will just be huge and not on bed rest. 


 Pregnancy Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 4:11 PM
CougFan
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-06-2012
7,510 Points
CougFan is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 2:37 PMBronze
Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

 BabyFruit Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 4:44 PM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie
CougFan:
Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

 Pregnancy Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 4:44 PM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie
CougFan:
Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

 Pregnancy Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 4:52 PM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie

CougFan:
Is there a reason it needs to be on a holiday weekend? I would be annoyed if a friend's shower was in the middle of a 3 day weekend and I had to choose between that and taking off for a few days.

 

Sorry my computer went crazy.  I chose a holiday weekend because I have a few friends that are coming from out of town that it would be easier for them to fly in and not have to worry about having to leave the next day.  I let my sister and my mom know that if they wanted to change the date it was fine and it didn't have to be on a 3 day weekend.  What also bothers me is that we discussed having the shower in January starting in late August and I have told many of my friends to save the date since they would have to buy a plane tix or make other travel plans. 

 I know it is not the end of the world and everything will turn out fine.  I guess I am just a little hormonal and I have a bad cold to top it off.


 Pregnancy Ticker 
11-27-2012 at 10:20 PM
Shel79
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-10-2008
3,025 Points
Shel79 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:21 PMNewbie
I posted this exact same question on the multiples board a few weeks ago. . . I'm due with twins April 8. The general consensus over there was that the best shower timing for a mom of twins is between 24 and 28 weeks. The risk of complications goes way up in 3rd tri, and lots of women felt that they didn't have energy for even a shower past 30weeks. I have no experience with it, being a FTM, but they all told me that 33 weeks was too late!

 BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
11-27-2012 at 11:55 PM
MelleTX
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-23-2010
Dallas, TX
4,807 Points
MelleTX is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 4:10 PMSilver

I am currently 35 weeks with twins. My showers were at 22, 25, 27, and 30 weeks. I felt good for all 4 but I was definitely slowing down a lot by the last one. Then at 32 weeks, iw as put on hospital bed rest due to pre-ecclampsia (where I remain). 

27-29 weeks was the ideal time for me. 


Single Mother by Choice.
Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own.
IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN
IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies
BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187
1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!!
Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema.
Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d

My IVF Journey

 photo 088e9b5e-eefc-43dd-a17f-f39fd7a40532.jpg 
11-28-2012 at 10:40 AM
Helenahhan...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-20-2012
65,499 Points
Helenahhandbasket is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 12:32 PMSilver

It's hard to say, since I only had a singleton.  My shower was at 29 weeks and I was pooped by the end of it so I think maybe you have legitimate concern.

You might get a better feel for what you should do if you xpost on the Multiples board.

 

Good luck!  


Married 11/23/07 BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
11-28-2012 at 12:25 PM
ggatlanta
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-01-2012
9,443 Points
ggatlanta is not online. Last active: 06-11-2013, 11:05 AMBronze

Your title says it all: you should be thankful.

With the twins thing, it's possible you go early, it's possible you won't make the shower. But you are right, you should still be thankful.

Plus, it sounds like your overriding concern is comfort. You write:

I know I should just be thankful that they are having this party for me but I am so worried that I will be miserable.  

And I simply cannot understand why you would be too "miserable" to attend a baby shower at 34 weeks!

Yes, you will have to be in at least a semi-upright position for a few hours. You will get hot and you will be tired and you will be ready to get it over with. BUT you will feel that way at work and at home too! What are you planning on doing when you're not at the party? Will you recline in bed down 24 hours a day? So yes, you might be miserable. But you might be miserable all the time.

Bottom line, you should thank your friends and enjoy your party.

Sorry to pick on you, OP, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again: all these "my baby shower is too laaaaaaate" threads are nothing but code for "it's sooooooo unfair to have to wait to get my presents".


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
11-28-2012 at 12:26 PM
PunkyBoost...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 11-03-2008
26,767 Points
PunkyBooster is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 2:04 PMPlatinum

You expect to have them mid-March (with an EDD of 4/4). Why is a month prior to that cutting it to close?

My EDD was 12/2. My last shower was 10/31 and DS came 11/18. Though I had a nasty case of swollen feet, I enjoyed that shower immensely and was fine throughout it once I got my shoes off :)  

And FWIW re: holiday weekend, my last 2 places of employment did not give us time off for either of those holidays.  


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
11-28-2012 at 8:50 PM
rhubarb123
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-03-2010
12,812 Points
rhubarb123 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 12:24 AMSilver
I have never gotten either of those days off so some of your friends might not either.  My DH gets MLK day but it can be taken anytime in Jan or Feb.  I think it is their way of combining MLK with President's Day so the company only actually "pays" for 1 day.
 
12-01-2012 at 10:25 AM
Checca23
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-29-2012
549 Points
Checca23 is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 11:33 PMNewbie
Thank you all for your responses.   Given the fact that I had to go to L&D yesterday, I think my sister and mom understand my concern for pushing the date back.

 Pregnancy Ticker 
12-08-2012 at 7:14 PM
sthomas122...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-10-2012
11,053 Points
sthomas1222 is not online. Last active: 04-07-2013, 6:30 PMBronze
I personally don't think you're being unreasonable. Babies are unpredictable but twins especially! You may end up on bedrest, have them early, be in the hospital for many reasons... Some may call me crazy and unreasonable as well but we're due 2/4/13 and I told mom & sister and then the friends who hosted showers  that my only condition was it be done before Christmas. I have had complications, no one makes it to their due date in my family and I didn't want people to be "partied out" from the holidays. Also, January comes with snow and ice and I didn't want to be 36 weeks pregnant at my shower... I wanted enough time to return/exchange things, wash all the clothes, set up any toys & whatnot, and have plenty of time to fill in the gaps of stuff we still needed. I needed more than 2-4 weeks to do all that... And I'm not having twins...

 photo be1a8386-23ff-434a-beaf-1408a16593dd_zpsd844a7d8.jpg  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board