Eh- I personally don't see a problem w/ adults creating wish lists.  Because that's the point- they are WISH lists.  Putting expensive stuff on there doesn't obligate anyone to buy it.  So no, I don't see it as greedy.  It's just a list out there on the web for people to look at.  You can choose to buy something off the list or not, and you still decide how much you want to spend.

ETA: I'm o.k. w/ this as long as they aren't running around TELLING people "Oh- go look at my wish list!".  If it's more of a "Hey- what do you want?" and then they tell you "if you want, you can look at my wishlist", I don't see the big deal.

I think any kind of "registry" whether it be for Christmas, birthdays, etc. is SUPER gift-grabby/greedy. The only reasons to use registrys are for weddings and baby showers. If people ask what your LO wants, go for it, tell them but please do not make a formal "wish list." It's one thing to make a list of what everyone's already bought to keep track of who bought what...it's something entirely different to post a formal list online. Gag-me.

...and don't even get me started on adults making their OWN "wishlists..."

Okay, now I'll go back to lurking.

Lgamache90:

I think any kind of "registry" whether it be for Christmas, birthdays, etc. is SUPER gift-grabby/greedy. The only reasons to use registrys are for weddings and baby showers. If people ask what your LO wants, go for it, tell them but please do not make a formal "wish list." It's one thing to make a list of what everyone's already bought to keep track of who bought what...it's something entirely different to post a formal list online. Gag-me.

...and don't even get me started on adults making their OWN "wishlists..."

Okay, now I'll go back to lurking.

 

Oh, the idea of doing it for birthdays puts me off, too.  For Christmas (for the kids only!), I guess I just see it as an online version of his letter to Santa Claus. I should say that none of them send it out proactively, but if you ask what so-and-so wants this year, they'll direct you there.  

PeanutR1:

Lgamache90:

I think any kind of "registry" whether it be for Christmas, birthdays, etc. is SUPER gift-grabby/greedy. The only reasons to use registrys are for weddings and baby showers. If people ask what your LO wants, go for it, tell them but please do not make a formal "wish list." It's one thing to make a list of what everyone's already bought to keep track of who bought what...it's something entirely different to post a formal list online. Gag-me.

...and don't even get me started on adults making their OWN "wishlists..."

Okay, now I'll go back to lurking.

 

Oh, the idea of doing it for birthdays puts me off, too.  For Christmas (for the kids only!), I guess I just see it as an online version of his letter to Santa Claus. I should say that none of them send it out proactively, but if you ask what so-and-so wants this year, they'll direct you there.  

Eh, that's not so bad then.

I think it may depend on the family.  My parents outright ask us for a list each year and the more detail, the merrier!  If we don't come prepared, my Mom gives us a little good hearted grief.  Nobody goes so far as to put an online "registry" together so to speak but it could maybe be for their own use?  I obviously don't know them so that could be totally wrong though too!  

This definitely depends on family, but I married into a family that does this. All the adults make Christmas lists and we do a Secret Santa with a $75 limit. Then whatever is not bought off the list, my MIL and FIL typically buy. They spend outrageous amounts of money on us each year and it makes me very uncomfortable. I hate, hate, hate telling people what to get me, and they get really frustrated when I ask for gift cards. I'm sorry, but I need to physically go to a store to try things on, so you're not ever going to see clothing or shoes on my list. There's very few movies I'd buy myself, so DVDs are rarely on there. And I have an e-reader, so I can't tell you specific titles; just give me a gift card. They seem to think it's boring, but for me, I love gift cards. I like selecting things myself.

I dread the holidays when they start asking "Did you make your list yet?" What am I, five? I hate to sound ungrateful; they are so, so, so generous. But I grew up in a very not wealthy family where you give gifts to the kids, not adults. It makes me very uncomfortable making a list knowing that DH's parents will likely buy everything on it. I've tried explaining to them that I feel uncomfortable making such a detailed list, but they don't care. For them it's literally a shopping list, not a wish list. Okay, enough ranting. Christmas is almost here and then I can move on with my life. Until June when they ask me "Did you make your birthday list?" Not kidding. They expect birthday lists, too.

I think it depends on the family. Mine will ask for lists from everyone every year. I don't feel obligated to buy off of anyone's list. 

 

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

PeanutR1:

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

Yet who is buying this for them? Are you sure they didnt purchase it themselves? I have a wish list on amazon full of stuff I want for DS or myself (it's not shared though) and I use it to keep track of what I want to buy, for example, puzzles or the art easel for DS or a book for myself).

I can't imagine buying someone a $400 or $700 gift for Christmas. But I also lost my job this year and was never rolling in dough to begin with.  

I would bother me if they offered the information up without me asking for it. If I actually asked that person what they wanted and they said, "Oh, well we made a wishlist...." then it probably wouldn't bother me.

PeanutR1:

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

From the perspective of "Oh, I know if I put it on the list, I WILL get it", I can more understand your feeling that it's greedy.  I too would have a hard time putting something on there that was really pricey if I know it would in turn make my parents feel they "have" to get it.

PunkyBooster:

PeanutR1:

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

Yet who is buying this for them? Are you sure they didnt purchase it themselves? I have a wish list on amazon full of stuff I want for DS or myself (it's not shared though) and I use it to keep track of what I want to buy, for example, puzzles or the art easel for DS or a book for myself).

I can't imagine buying someone a $400 or $700 gift for Christmas. But I also lost my job this year and was never rolling in dough to begin with.  

I know for a fact the furniture was bought by my mom... And the TV was purchased around the same time.

 I cant see it being a running list when every year, all the items get added in November...  Very few of the items are small.  Each persons list has about $700+ worth of merchandise on it.  Which is what brought on my original disdain for it. 

My parents aren't rolling in dough, but they never want to say no to their children. So why would you even ask?  You know how they are. I haven't asked for a single thing this year, knowing that my mom will want to buy baby stuff 

EastCoastBride:

PeanutR1:

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

From the perspective of "Oh, I know if I put it on the list, I WILL get it", I can more understand your feeling that it's greedy.  I too would have a hard time putting something on there that was really pricey if I know it would in turn make my parents feel they "have" to get it.

 Sometimes I don't express my thoughts on writing well...

 

Yes, if the lists were filled with books, perfume, small gadgets, inexpensive jewelry, etc, it probably wouldn't bother me so much. But it's all big stuff that THEY should be providing for their home. Lighting fixtures? Blinds? Furniture? tvs? Stereo systems? 

 Gifts are supposed to be fun, not a way to get people to furnish your house.  

Ugh. Then that is really frustrating. Sounds like they are clueless and yes, probably a little greedy. 

PeanutR1:

Thanks for all the replies. I guess I'm just crazy.  I look at SIL putting a $300 piece of furniture on the list, and my mom buying it, and shake my head, considering just 2 years ago, they got a $700 electronics piece. 

 Oh, and I just looked - my brother (same household) is getting. $400 TV. 

I just don't know where you get the gall to ASK for that in a year when my dad lost his job... 

I wouldn't be bothered by it if there were some reasonably priced things on there i.e. $30-50.  If everything is $100+, then I do think it looks a little grabby.  Just be happy knowing your not the one stretching your own mother's generosity. 

My husband and I both have Amazon wishlists--but we're also the only people who ever buy anything off of them.  I have two--one for him to shop for me for Christmas (very short and reasonably priced), then a longer one that has kitchen items, books, movies, etc.  I basically use the long one as a way to remind myself of that cool book I saw reviewed and want to pick up sometime, and exactly which kitchen aid attachment I wanted, and when the next JD Robb book comes out, or which stroller I had my eye on but need to research more.  They're useful tools. I certainly don't expect anyone but myself and maybe DH to look at either of my lists; my parents don't shop from them and likely don't know they exist-but if they asked I'd tell them (mom thinks I wear the same size clothes I did in high school...)

I am VERY glad my husband keeps up a list, because he is impossible to shop for otherwise.  He's very picky about games and books, and has the annoying habit of buying what he wants JUST before I order it 

I'll admit it, I have an Amazon wish list.  I keep it for myself, so I can add things that catch my eye and make me go "Oh, I'd really like to get that when I have more money," because if I don't make a note of it somewhere I won't remember what it was I wanted to get when I finally do get that extra splurging cash.  It comes in handy when someone asks me for gift ideas, because then I can pop over to the list and pick a few things in the appropriate price range so they have some options.  I also use it to make shopping lists over the holidays since I do most of my shopping on-line and I get super cheap shipping.  The list is viewable if someone wants to look for it, but I don't advertise its existence.

I don't really see how simply having a list makes someone gift grabby, unless they're e-mailing it to people unsolicited or waving it around under people's noses without being asked for suggestions.

As to your mom spending too much money on your siblings... that's really on her.  Yes, your siblings could make more of an effort to come up with some less expensive gift suggestions, but your mom is the one in control of her gift giving budget and your siblings aren't twisting her arm to force her to spend $700 on them.

If it makes her happy to spend that much money giving her family what they want, and she's not coming to you asking for extra cash to cover the mortgage payment that month, then why is it any of your business trying to dictate what she gets someone else as a gift?  My husband and I know that if we asked for it, my parents would probably be willing to buy us a very expensive gift or two for Christmas, but it makes me uncomfortable asking for things like that, so we don't. However, I don't police what my parents chose to give to my sister and her boyfriend because it's none of my business if my mom were to decide to spoil my sister with a nice TV because it's my mom's money to spend how she chooses.

PunkyBooster:

I think it depends on the family. Mine will ask for lists from everyone every year. I don't feel obligated to buy off of anyone's list. 

 

 

this.. Also DH and I use the wish list feature for each other as well, so it does have more expensive things but there's also a range. We send them to those that ask. It's not like I only have expensive items on mine

Like many others, my husband and I have wishlists. I use mine mostly to keep track of awesome things I see that I want someday, but don't feel like spending the money right now.Or I put several of one type of thing on there while I decide between them.

Our families are really different about gift giving. My mom might ask me what I want and I will tell her she would go out and pick it out herself. My husband's mom needs specifics and will keep calling and emailing until I give her a detailed list. His family also does a lot more gift giving than we do. So, once MIL starts asking, we direct her to the wishlists and she loves it. I do feel bad when she chooses to buy something on the pricier side on the wishlist though. MIL has even gone so far as to tell my husband "go buy something that you want and I will give you money for it", for a gift. I think that is weird.

I think wishlists would only be "gift grabby" if people are using them solely as a registry to give out to people unsolicited. 

We have wish lists for each family member on amazon, that is ongoing, all year long. Mainly it is a "holding spot" for things I want to eventually get. But it is handy that family members know about it--they can buy from it or get ideas.  DH has a TV on his right now, but it is so he can track the price. He doesn't think anyone would buy it for him.

tricia560:

My husband and I both have Amazon wishlists--but we're also the only people who ever buy anything off of them.  I have two--one for him to shop for me for Christmas (very short and reasonably priced), then a longer one that has kitchen items, books, movies, etc.  I basically use the long one as a way to remind myself of that cool book I saw reviewed and want to pick up sometime, and exactly which kitchen aid attachment I wanted, and when the next JD Robb book comes out, or which stroller I had my eye on but need to research more.  They're useful tools. I certainly don't expect anyone but myself and maybe DH to look at either of my lists; my parents don't shop from them and likely don't know they exist-but if they asked I'd tell them (mom thinks I wear the same size clothes I did in high school...)

I am VERY glad my husband keeps up a list, because he is impossible to shop for otherwise.  He's very picky about games and books, and has the annoying habit of buying what he wants JUST before I order it 

This sounds like DH and me.  We add items throughout the year that we see and might like, some super expensive "wish items" and a bunch of smaller items.  I also have a seperate list for MP3 downloads so I don't forget the song and download it when I have some extra money or a gift card.  Even though other friends and family could look at these lists, no one ever does, and we don't promote them.

I does really annoy me when adults give out a birthday list.  We're adults, unless we're really good friends, I'm not buying you a b-day gift.  But for Christmas, I always ask for gift ideas, and if someone I asked for ideas had an Amazon wish list, I would view it just as that, a wish list or suggestions like any other registry. 

My sister does the Amazon lists for her kids at Christmas, and honestly it's really helpful.  I don't get to see them often, and the kids have a half-dozen aunts and uncles spread out around the country.

 I don't like it, but we do wish lists for my parents and ILs to use.  I've suggested a no-gifts-for-adults Christmas, but finally stopped since my Mom got really upset at the idea.  We have 3 - 5 things each, in the $50 neighborhood.

I don't have a problem with making a "kid's" wishlist at all.  I use them for both Christmas and birthdays (it saves time when shopping).  As for adult wish lists...ehh...maybe they are hoping their spouse will look at it!  My brother, etc. always ask me "what do you want for Christmas/birthday/etc"...and I hem and haw and finally think of something.  I'm kind of put on the spot.  So...I guess if I made a wish list for myself it would be helpful.

Lol! Go buy them a cheaper version of the watches and stereos, maybe they will get the idea! They are too old for this... It is a great idea for the kids. Remember the Toys R Us Christmas catalog with the stickers?  

I think it's kind of obnoxious that you think it's any of your concern in regards to who/what your parents spend THEIR money on.

I created a "wishlist" for myself on pinterest in order to keep track of the purchases I would like to either someday save for and then of course I did throw in some cheaper items. This list is more of a mental note for myself. But there are times when people have come up and said I have NO idea what to get you then I tell them my pinterest website. I don't expect one single person to buy me anything over 20. Hell anything over 5 bucks is generous.

Is your sibling known for being kinda spoiled, entitled, or gift grabby? If not then relax. 

 

tacky- if they want 200$ bed sheets, they can buy them themselves. This year we're winging everyones gift, and not spending more than 30$ a person because of baby on the way, and im unemployed. I didn't ask anyone what they wanted, although i might call my dad and ask him, since i have no clue what to get him. 

DH and I each did an Amazon wish list for Christmas last year at the specific request of both of our families.  They prefer to do online shopping instead of going in-store and prefer us to open gifts on Christmas Day instead of opening gift cards.  Don't ask my why, as adults, we need wrapped presents (or any gifts at all) under the tree, but it's their choice, I guess.

I did think it was weird at first, but the specifics on size and color is to make it very, very easy for the gift-giver to get you exactly what you want and not have to guess on the specifics.  I have to say, I did appreciate not having to return/exchange items for correct sizes or colors/patterns and my MIL especially loved knowing she wasn't making a stab in the dark shopping for a girl (she has only boys).

I would love it if adults in my family would create wishlists. My FIL does and it helps me a lot to know that I am getting him something he would appreciate. I have an amazon wishlist which my mom and husband find helpful. It's just a wishlist if you can't afford something on there don't get it.