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11-30-2012 at 12:48 PM
tmwishful
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told DD there's no such thing as Santa

Ok she's 16m old and doesn't understand, but DH and I decided we're not going to bribe her with gifts for the month of Dec. in order to get her to be "good".  As Christians, we feel she should know about God and the whole point of the holiday, not being about getting gifts and food and shopping for a whole month, so we're not doing it.  Am I the only one?  Anyone else out there? 


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11-30-2012 at 12:58 PM
dairygirl1...
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We focus on the Christian aspect more, but we also do Santa. I have no problem with the fun he brings.

 I however don't use it as bribery tool (Santa won't come if you're not good!). We explain the concept, take her to see him, do some fun stuff and tell her he brings presents, but we don't focus on the good vs. bad part.

Christmas is a big deal for us though. We don't do anything gift wise the rest of the year really..so it all balances.

 
11-30-2012 at 1:12 PM
KC_13
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I suppose I should give the disclaimer that I'm not exactly Christian but this doesn't make any sense to me. If you're trying to teach your child about Christianity, it should be engrained in her throughout the whole year--not just at Christmas time for one day which signifies the birth of Christ. If you're doing a good job at that, the magic of Santa/presents shouldn't take away the teachings of Christ.

I'm with you on the idea you shouldn't use Santa as a bribe to get children to behave for one month of the year--I just don't get how you can't celebrate both the secular and non-secular aspects of the holiday together. It can have the magic of Christmas/Santa with still keeping Jesus/family as the main focus. It doesn't have to be one or the other.


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11-30-2012 at 1:12 PM
LalaMama81
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We do all of it, too. I did both growing up. Santa was part of the fun as kids, but the overall meaning, family time, church time, birth of Christ, etc. was emphasized more. We don't go crazy with gifts, but it is part of our celebration. It's fun. It's magical. I love Christmas, both the religious and secular aspects. We give to others less fortunate as well. 

We don't bribe anyone w/ Santa. Our expectations for behavior are the same now that they are every month.  

Are you just not doing Santa or not doing anything non-religious related?

I'll be honest, I get why the Jesus part is more important, b/c I agree, but I don't get why some people think you can't do both.  



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11-30-2012 at 1:14 PM
LalaMama81
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KC_13:

I suppose I should give the disclaimer that I'm not exactly Christian but this doesn't make any sense to me. If you're trying to teach your child about Christianity, it should be engrained in her throughout the whole year--not just at Christmas time for one day which signifies the birth of Christ. If you're doing a good job at that, the magic of Santa/presents shouldn't take away the teachings of Christ.

I'm with you on the idea you shouldn't use Santa as a bribe to get children to behave for one month of the year--I just don't get how you can't celebrate both the secular and non-secular aspects of the holiday together. It can have the magic of Christmas/Santa with still keeping Jesus/family as the main priority. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

I am a Christian, and I totally agree. You said it a little more clearly than I did. It doesn't have to be either or.  



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11-30-2012 at 1:14 PM
memali26
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We're Christians, very active in our church, and the main focus of Christmas for us is Christ's birth. But that doesn't mean we can't do Santa. We haven't really made a big deal out of it and have not at all introduced the "naught or nice" side of it. Most of their gifts will be from mom and dad, with a stocking and a few other things from Santa. But I have no problem taking them to see Santa or writing letters to Santa, and just letting them have some of those magical childhood memories.


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11-30-2012 at 1:14 PM
mabenner1
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Why can't you have Santa and God?  Why does Santa need to be about bribing good behavior with gifts?  It can be about sharing, and giving, and fun.

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11-30-2012 at 1:14 PM
Xcrisscros...
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I agree. How does making your kid a skeptic add to learning about Christ? I agree that you shouldn't bribe your kids and I agree that you should focus on more than gifts and cookies... but Santa is exciting and whimsical and fun.

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11-30-2012 at 1:16 PM
lkm2006
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I consider myself very religious and absolutely want my kids to know the importance of Christmas, but I LOVE Santa.

 Kids are kids for such a short, short amount of time.  They have their whole life to be a grown up and "not believe" so I want to make the most out of this special time in their lives.  

I guess I'm in the camp that you can have both, the fun of Santa and the knowledge/recognition of Jesus.


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11-30-2012 at 1:27 PM
tmwishful
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Bah humbug.  I guess I don't see the point.  My parents had me going until I was in 4th grade.  They had to break the news to me.  I didn't trust them as much after that.  I don't want my child to feel the same heartbreak.

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11-30-2012 at 1:30 PM
CPBP
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While we will do both (Jesus and Santa), every one gets to make their own decisions in life.

 I am more confused about the fact you told you 16 month old.  Literally spoke to her and converyed that Santa doesn't exist?  Does she have any concept whatsoever about "bribery" or the fantasy of Santa.  I am pretty sure my 21 month old would not have a clue if I mentioned that.

If LO was older and you wanted to go that route, then it would make more sense to me.

 
11-30-2012 at 1:31 PM
LalaMama81
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tmwishful:
Bah humbug.  I guess I don't see the point.  My parents had me going until I was in 4th grade.  They had to break the news to me.  I didn't trust them as much after that.  I don't want my child to feel the same heartbreak.

So, then it isn't b/c of religious reasons. You are still upset about this? I didn't know people really distrusted their parents b/c they created a the magical illusion of Santa. I think that your experience is rare. Most kids naturally suspect and figure it out, pretend to believe a bit longer b/c it's fun and then just slowly let go. 

Did your parents really go overboard w/ the Santa stories? 



Ellie 9.08, Violet 8.11 
11-30-2012 at 1:42 PM
elmoali
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I'm always amazed that people who feel so strongly that God is all powerful and they live their lives to show their children how to be Christian, think a fun made up character has the power to derail that.  Santa is fun.  Don't give him the power to rock what you feel is the center of your belief system but let him bring a toy.  It's not that big a deal lol

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11-30-2012 at 2:26 PM
DaisyJanie
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One other thing to consider, when your child gets older, she's going to tell her friends that there's no Santa, and they and their parents are going to be upset. 

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11-30-2012 at 2:28 PM
mabenner1
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tmwishful:
Bah humbug.  I guess I don't see the point.  My parents had me going until I was in 4th grade.  They had to break the news to me.  I didn't trust them as much after that.  I don't want my child to feel the same heartbreak.

Don't blame it on jesus then. Also, there's a huge difference between 16 months and 4th grade. You can find a middle ground. And, you were seriously scarred by finding out there's no Santa?  Major side eye.


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11-30-2012 at 2:39 PM
krptcmschf...
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DaisyJanie:
One other thing to consider, when your child gets older, she's going to tell her friends that there's no Santa, and they and their parents are going to be upset. 

Seriously! I'd be pretty upset if my daughter came home crying in kindergarten because she was told Santa wasn't real and I had to explain it to her at such a young age. I found out on my own at an older age (3 or 4th grade) and I didn't hold it against my parents. I had younger siblings, and I didn't want to ruin it for them. My nephew is the same way. He knows Santa isn't real, he figured it out on his own, but keeps it going for his little sister and cousins.



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11-30-2012 at 2:41 PM
janinekrau...
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Sorry. This is the funniest thread ever to me.  I love Santa and for some reason I don't think a 2 year old is going to see the magic of christmas through Jesus' birth. Sorry to be a skeptic but seriously? All good with teaching your child to be a good Christian and explaining the meaning of Christmas.

To me, there is nothing at all like watching your child wake up (when they start understanding) and realize Santa came. It is pure joy. I almost cried when I watched her right before she was 3- the excitement, the wonder....

Wait until your 3 year old is having tantrums and what you resort to :)  Yes, I threaten Santa, candy, parties, tv, etc. Somehow the be a good girl thing doesn't always have the same power at 3.

 Good luck.


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11-30-2012 at 3:39 PM
skio
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XcrisscrossX:
I agree. How does making your kid a skeptic add to learning about Christ? I agree that you shouldn't bribe your kids and I agree that you should focus on more than gifts and cookies... but Santa is exciting and whimsical and fun.

Agree with this and the others. I think it's sad that your kid will be deprived of Santa and the magic of believing in the fun of it all.



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11-30-2012 at 3:47 PM
Duffgurl
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I totally agree with KC.

I think just because your parents took that magical experience of Santa from you does not mean you should not let your LO experience it.

Yes maybe Santa is fictional but isn't Elmo, Mickey, or any other character. Do we take them away from our children too? Ya I don't think so.


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11-30-2012 at 5:02 PM
shanado
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tmwishful:
Bah humbug. nbsp;I guess I don't see the point. nbsp;My parents had me going until I was in 4th grade. nbsp;They had to break the news to me. nbsp;I didn't trust them as much after that. nbsp;I don't want my child to feel the same heartbreak.
Um, I think it's time to get over it, yes?

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11-30-2012 at 5:04 PM
shanado
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I can't tell you how many years I spent in therapy once I realized the Toothfairy wasn't real. :::eye roll:::

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11-30-2012 at 5:22 PM
agytay
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At 16 months I guarantee your LO has no clue what Santa means...or what it means to be a Christian (and I too am Christian). No need to even have the conversation at this point, and not sure why you are making a big deal about it at this point.

We are not big gift givers, and LO will get 1 to 2 gifts max...with tons of boxes and wrapping paper to play with since that is his preferences.

 
11-30-2012 at 5:40 PM
magpiebrid...
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We're doing Santa this way: He exists and is magical and wonderful (because even now the memories of Santa make me so happy I could cry). BUT... The holiday is about God and Jesus, and Jesus is even more amazing than Santa. Santa brings 3 gifts on christmas eve, just like the 3 wise men brought to baby Jesus.

 

Never are these gifts going to be rewards for good behavior. Discipline and Santa have nothing to do with each other. 

 

But that's just how we're doing it. Follow what you think is best and in your heart.  


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11-30-2012 at 6:03 PM
ladybugpjb
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DaisyJanie:
One other thing to consider, when your child gets older, she's going to tell her friends that there's no Santa, and they and their parents are going to be upset. 

That's not necessarily true unless you raise your kids to be jerks. I didn't believe in Santa (figured it out really early), and I never spoiled it for my friends. My brother and I kind of played along and my mom always labeled some of the gifts as being from Santa, but we didn't believe it.

OP, we're not doing Santa, but I'm not going to tell DS that he doesn't exist - he has no clue right now. When DS asks, then we'll talk about it. I don't see any reason to start on it before he even cares.


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11-30-2012 at 6:03 PM
PurpleDrew...
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KC_13:

I suppose I should give the disclaimer that I'm not exactly Christian but this doesn't make any sense to me. If you're trying to teach your child about Christianity, it should be engrained in her throughout the whole year--not just at Christmas time for one day which signifies the birth of Christ. If you're doing a good job at that, the magic of Santa/presents shouldn't take away the teachings of Christ.

I'm with you on the idea you shouldn't use Santa as a bribe to get children to behave for one month of the year--I just don't get how you can't celebrate both the secular and non-secular aspects of the holiday together. It can have the magic of Christmas/Santa with still keeping Jesus/family as the main focus. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

KC isn't a Christian and can see that including Santa in Christmas does not exclude Christ.

If you don't want to do Santa, find don't do it but don't say that you can't do Santa and teach your kid about Jesus' birth. 

We have/will throughout the Christmas season set up our small nativity scene and let DD play with it. Sing Christmas carols, some about Christ, some not. We will drink hot beverages and watch wintery movies. We will go to Christmas eve service and participate in the Christmas talent show. We will wake up on Christmas morning and open our stockings(from Santa) while the cinnamon rolls are baking. After breakfast we will  read the Christmas story from the Bible and talk about Jesus. Then we will open the rest of our gifts.

Santa is magical and wonderful for children. Jesus is our Savior. We (along with many others) can celebrate both during the Christmas season.

 
11-30-2012 at 6:13 PM
Margaret L...
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shanado:
tmwishful:
Bah humbug. nbsp;I guess I don't see the point. nbsp;My parents had me going until I was in 4th grade. nbsp;They had to break the news to me. nbsp;I didn't trust them as much after that. nbsp;I don't want my child to feel the same heartbreak.
Um, I think it's time to get over it, yes?

AGREE!

Santa is so much fun!  I would be sad for my kid not to have this fun.

Be careful. Wait until she finds out Elmo is not real either. Let kids have fun! 


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11-30-2012 at 6:27 PM
rosesandpe...
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LalaMama81:

We do all of it, too. I did both growing up. Santa was part of the fun as kids, but the overall meaning, family time, church time, birth of Christ, etc. was emphasized more. We don't go crazy with gifts, but it is part of our celebration. It's fun. It's magical. I love Christmas, both the religious and secular aspects. We give to others less fortunate as well. 

We don't bribe anyone w/ Santa. Our expectations for behavior are the same now that they are every month.  

Are you just not doing Santa or not doing anything non-religious related?

I'll be honest, I get why the Jesus part is more important, b/c I agree, but I don't get why some people think you can't do both.  

 I totally agree with this.  I am Catholic and even at my girls Christian preschool they do of course mostly focus on the Christian aspect, but even in there Christmas program they have non religious songs.  I guess I just enjoy the excitement that believing in Santa brings.  I think you can do both and I also don't believe in saying they aren't going to bring gifts, etc. if they arent good.  To me that is not what Santa is about.  Santa is just about the magic of the season.  That is my thoughts but I completely respect everyone's individual opinions.
11-30-2012 at 6:40 PM
Estwd2
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janinekrause:
Sorry. This is the funniest thread ever to me.nbsp; I love Santanbsp;and for some reason I don't think a 2 year old is going to see the magic of christmas through Jesus' birth. Sorry to be a skeptic but seriously? All good with teaching your child to be a good Christian and explaining the meaning of Christmas.
To me, there is nothing at all like watching your child wake up when they start understanding and realize Santa came. It is pure joy. I almost cried when I watched her right before she was 3 the excitement, the wonder....
Wait until your 3 year old is having tantrums and what you resort to :nbsp; Yes, I threaten Santa, candy, parties, tv, etc. Somehow the be a good girl thing doesn't always have the same power at 3.
nbsp;Good luck.
LOL. I know. Teaching kids to be good without bargaining? Ha! Good luck ladies.

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11-30-2012 at 6:48 PM
dairygirl1...
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For the record, I bribe all the time! Just now with Santa. It's NMS/I never think of it at the time. My parents never did it either, so I never got the habit I guess. It doesn't bother me that other people do..I have nothing against it.

Also, OP, Santa possibly can't be the only thing your parents lied to you about? What else are you still upset about. I love my parents but they told way worse lies than Santa to us. Time to move on.

 

 
11-30-2012 at 7:27 PM
MammaBear8...
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While I do believe that this holiday is over commercialized we do let the children believe in Santa.  We do have an "elf on the shelf" and it probably does make them behave a little better, but we stress good behavior all year, not just at Christmas.  The children only (and I say only because everyone I know thinks I'm being stingy) get three presents a piece and one of those is a "Secret Santa" from one of their brothers or sisters (this is our way of saying the holiday is also about giving), and yes, two of them got one piece of coal in their stockings last year because they did not listen as well as they should have.

I guess I don't see the harm in believing in Santa as long as you set the "limits".  Santa isn't what makes Christmas about presents, it's the adults that lead the children in that direction, which was the direction I was lead in, and that is not what I want for my kids.

Its fine not to believe in Santa, but I don't want to be you when your daughter is 3 or 4 and tells her friends there is no Santa.... You might have some upset parents on your hands for a bit.

ETA: I'd like to add that we are christian, and go to church.  The kids also know why we have Christmas, and it's about celebrating the birth of Christ.  It's possible to have your cake and eat it too here.


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