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11-30-2012 at 1:09 PM
RussianMom...
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RussianMommy is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 3:59 AMSilver

Pre-partum depression???

I am having such a hard time with this pregnancy! This is my first and I did not expect it to be like this. I thought it was going to be this great, beautiful thing and I would only gain weight in the belly area, bond with my baby and feel great! This is definitely not the case. I'm not sick anymore, but the first trimester was HORRIBLE. All day sickness, couldn't eat/drink, was put on medication, didn't feel like doing anything. My belly isn't a "bump" it's the entire belly - like Winnie the Pooh. My face has gotten chubbier/rounder, my boobs have gotten huge and are covered in stretch marks. Plus, I am not bonding with this baby. Everyone is asking "isn't it such an amazing feeling when you feel him move??" and I cannot relate. I just think of it as I'm supposed to feel the baby move, but it's not this "amazing" feeling. I knew I would have a bit of gender disappointment when if this baby turned out to be a boy, and it is. I really wanted a girl. I have so many girly things I wanted to pass onto my potential daughter and now I won't be able to - yes, we want 2 kids, but after dealing with all of this, I don't know if I could do it. I feel so sad and depressed that this isn't going the way I expected.

The body thing is a really had one to deal with. I used to be really fit, and into working out/eating healthy and now I just feel like a blob. My H compliments me and says how beautiful I am, how I'm "glowing", how my skin looks great, how he loves my new curves.. but I've never been someone to take compliments.

I don't know what to do. I do not enjoy being pregnant and I feel like I should. 


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11-30-2012 at 7:43 PM
christinas...
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christinasullie37 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:23 PMBronze
I felt exactly as you did while I was pregnant. I am a FTM and I hated every minute of being pregnant.  I have a symptom free pregnancy but I hated what it did to my body, and it took away my ability to do certain tasks.  I hated being told I couldn't do things I was used to.  When people asked me if I am excited, I would tell them excited for this preganancy to be over.  I did not have the overjoyed feeling that I though I would have.  Furthermore, we wanted a boy and instead got a girl.  It took a while to get over the dissappointment as well.  She is now one month old and I am still not feeling the type of attachement I thought I would.  There is little connection and the depression I am certain is to blame. 

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12-01-2012 at 12:16 AM
RussianMom...
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Joined on 06-05-2012
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RussianMommy is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 3:59 AMSilver

christinasullie37:
I felt exactly as you did while I was pregnant. I am a FTM and I hated every minute of being pregnant.  I have a symptom free pregnancy but I hated what it did to my body, and it took away my ability to do certain tasks.  I hated being told I couldn't do things I was used to.  When people asked me if I am excited, I would tell them excited for this preganancy to be over.  I did not have the overjoyed feeling that I though I would have.  Furthermore, we wanted a boy and instead got a girl.  It took a while to get over the dissappointment as well.  She is now one month old and I am still not feeling the type of attachement I thought I would.  There is little connection and the depression I am certain is to blame. 

what can be done?? I don't know what to do!!


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12-02-2012 at 3:08 PM
PayolaCray...
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PayolaCrayola is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 3:00 PMNewbie

I didnt have this feeling but my best friend did. Tbh she didnt bond at all her whole entire pregnancy and even after her daughter was born she wanted nothing to do with her. Her daughter is almost 4 and she still struggles to bond with her. BUT she is a good mom and she loves her child. Also she always said she never wanted to do it again but she is now trying for another. All i can say is it takes time and maybe you wont be as connected as you thought but you can still be a good mom! I think society puts a lot of pressure on us to look perfect while pregnant and its just not that way.

I had an eating disorder for a huge part of my life and it was very hard for me to gain 75lbs while pregnant...it was also hard to hear ppl comment on it like i had a choice..."God youre huge!"...like its a compliment. I just told myself that as long as the baby was healthy i could always lose the weight and that helped.


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