community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
11-30-2012 at 10:32 PM
cinderin
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-16-2003
Bellevue, Washington
41,355 Points
cinderin is online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 12:08 AMSilver

Who is it OK to accept the offer of a shower from?

I have read it is not OK for a relative to throw a shower for you. Mother, sister, etc. 

I was wondering if that included MIL, SIL, etc. ? It seems to me like it would, sine the reason you don't have family member throw it is that it is "gift grabby".

http://living.msn.com/life-inspired/miss-manners-advice/miss-manners-on-throwing-a-baby-shower-for-mom-zilla

 So is it just friends who should throw you a shower?  


"How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

BFP 11/24/2012 with EDD 8/07/2013
Baby Boy - Martin Robert
FTM & High Risk PG
 
12-01-2012 at 5:06 AM
ungraceful...
Top 500 Contributor
Joined on 05-21-2008
Northern Kentucky
49,813 Points
ungraceful13 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:49 PMPlatinum
My SIL's are throwing me a shower today. My SIL threw a shower for the other SIL when she was pregnant. Really as long as you don't throw one for yourself I feel like it is ok. My aunt threw my other one but if she hadn't volunteered my mom would have. We have a very small family and there aren't a lot of options for who could throw a shower. (Literally I have one aunt, my mom, 2 grandmas, and a 15 year old female cousin). Honestly if someone offers and you would like a shower from them I say accept.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-01-2012 at 5:54 AM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
40,440 Points
EastCoastBride is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 7:09 PMPlatinum
Family can throw it - including your mom or sister.  The only people who should NOT are yourself or your DH.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

12-01-2012 at 7:58 AM
jobiann
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-09-2007
Iowa
52,378 Points
jobiann is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 8:51 PMGold

EastCoastBride:
Family can throw it - including your mom or sister.  The only people who should NOT are yourself or your DH.

This exactly! 



Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Anniversary
 
12-01-2012 at 9:27 AM
mccall35
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-17-2012
3,722 Points
mccall35 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 8:34 PMNewbie
Like PP have said, anyone but you or your DH can throw the shower. My sisters are throwing one of my showers. 

- A  
12-01-2012 at 10:19 AM
PrimRoseMa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-13-2012
178,262 Points
PrimRoseMama is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 11:44 PMGold
In my area it's considered bad form for any family member to throw a shower. However, the practice of female family members throwing showers is becoming more common and acceptable.

I have only had friends offer because its understood that family doesn't throw them here. I've been to one or two family hosted ones and its fine.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
 
12-01-2012 at 11:29 AM
ordinary1
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-16-2011
8,481 Points
ordinary1 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 1:33 AMBronze
I agree with PPs.  It is  becoming more common and acceptable for family to throw showers.  If my mom were here, she would throw mine and no one would side-eye it.  In my area, it's pretty common.  I think the only tacky showers are showers thrown by the MTB for herself or if her h throws it.

Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Anniversary  BabyFruit Ticker 
12-01-2012 at 2:50 PM
cmhicklin
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-11-2010
30,331 Points
cmhicklin is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 11:19 PMGold
My 2 best friends are my cousin and my SIL, so if that was tacky I would just be a tacky person : )

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  photo 6fe3dd51-927b-450f-b353-462308b0a4f5_zps4a6429bf.jpg  photo 0ddb8b1b-d16a-424c-8847-9ceabe602147_zps27cf215f.jpg 
12-01-2012 at 6:05 PM
lauraliz24
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-27-2011
5,246 Points
lauraliz24 is not online. Last active: 02-14-2013, 11:11 PMBronze
I had only heard that you couldn't throw your own until we were talking about it with MIL.  She said when she grew up, it was considered rude to have mother/MIL throw the shower because they would be benefiting as well.  Not really sure how, but that's what she said.  My mom said she vaguely remembers this when she was younger as well, but doesn't abide by it.  :)  Anyways, my SIL officially hosted at my MIL's house and my mother helped.  So, those are all the "rules" I've heard.

Brought home an extra special souvenir from vacation!  BabyFruit Ticker
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
12-02-2012 at 12:00 AM
rhubarb123
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-03-2010
12,806 Points
rhubarb123 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 8:29 PMSilver

PrimRoseMama:
In my area it's considered bad form for any family member to throw a shower. However, the practice of female family members throwing showers is becoming more common and acceptable. I have only had friends offer because its understood that family doesn't throw them here. I've been to one or two family hosted ones and its fine.

This is true for me...although I've attend many that are thrown by the MIL, or MTB's mom or sister, etc.  In my family (and I thought proper etiquette - according to my mom) is that no close family members (meaning mom, sisters or SIL, MIL) should host it.  My second cousin hosted my bridal and baby shower.  A coworker hosted another and a friend from church hosted the third one.  Same with my bridal showers...I had 3 (second cousin, bridal attendants, and my DH's step-sisters).

 
12-02-2012 at 11:26 AM
wittyschaf...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-16-2008
Twin Cities Metro, Minnesota
22,414 Points
wittyschaffy is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 1:12 PMSilver
Most of the showers I've been to recently have been thrown by the Siblings or siblings in law of the Mom.  To echo pps, I think most anything goes save for YOU throwing yourself a party.
 
12-02-2012 at 5:56 PM
KateMW
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-16-2008
Here...
142,235 Points
KateMW is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 10:07 PMGold
I've always heard Mother/MIL can't host a wedding shower, but a baby shower is fine. The reasoning behind it is that the parents typically pay for the wedding, so it would be rude to ask for gifts for an event they're hosting. 

Lilypie Pregnancy tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
12-03-2012 at 11:31 AM
ggatlanta
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-01-2012
11,555 Points
ggatlanta is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 9:25 AMBronze

lauraliz24:
She said when she grew up, it was considered rude to have mother/MIL throw the shower because they would be benefiting as well.

The idea was that since families should take care of their own, the mother throwing her daughter a shower was no different than the daughter doing it herself. (If the daughter couldn't afford it, the mother would have to help, so throwing a shower to "avoid" that obligation was rude.) Obviously this wouldn't apply to a cousin or a sister-in-law, since that relationship carries no dependency burden, so I wouldn't agree that showers wouldn't have been hosted by *any* family - just that they wouldn't have been hosted by family on which the MTB or FTB had ever been dependent.

Nowadays, with families more spread out and less reliant on one another, the no-mothers-hosting rule may be a little outdated. Still, my family is so close - physically, financially, emotionally - that I would be very uncomfortable having my mother host my shower. I know she wouldn't even consider doing so. My shower(s) have been / will be thrown by people like god-parents, old family friends, cousins, etc.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-08-2012 at 3:25 PM
Sporatygir...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-31-2007
3,913 Points
Sporatygirl26 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:12 PMNewbie

EastCoastBride:
Family can throw it - including your mom or sister.  The only people who should NOT are yourself or your DH.

 This...my mom, MIL & sister are throwing me the shower but that is because they all offered and my BFF is in another state.


Anniversary Westin Hayes S. <3  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-08-2012 at 3:25 PM
Sporatygir...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-31-2007
3,913 Points
Sporatygirl26 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:12 PMNewbie
EastCoastBride:
Family can throw it - including your mom or sister.  The only people who should NOT are yourself or your DH.

Anniversary Westin Hayes S. <3  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-08-2012 at 7:06 PM
sthomas122...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-10-2012
11,053 Points
sthomas1222 is not online. Last active: 04-07-2013, 6:30 PMBronze
My mom, MIL, and sister threw a shower for family. Then 2 friends from RN school threw a shower for friends. 

 photo be1a8386-23ff-434a-beaf-1408a16593dd_zpsd844a7d8.jpg  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board