For lots of reasons, not the least of which is the below, I think the problem may be *you*, not the doctor.

amilynndoe:

I am seriously considering stopping by his office on the way to the hospital and slashing his tires so he wont be there to deliver my child.

This may sound harsh, but your "financial woes" are not the doctor's problem. Your back pain may be his problem, but I would trust him if he thinks the best thing to do is to let the baby come when he's ready and not to rush things because you're in pain.

PS, can I be the first to call MUD? Fellow 3rd-tri-ers, we have lots of issues here: the OP hints that she wants to be induced early because she's in pain (her doc says no, so she thinks he's a jerk); apparently she wishes the doctor was more concerned about baby's size; and then she claims that she's 35+ weeks but doesn't know (and won't research) how to tell if she's going into labor. I mean, how do you get to 35+ weeks and not get curious enough to google labor symptoms? I smell a troll.

drewiekc:

I'm not really understanding this.  You are asking him questions, and he wont answer, or evades your questions?  Or is he just not giving you the answers you like?  If you are telling him you have back pain and he's telling you it's "normal", thats a pretty standard answer.  Because....its normal.  How far along are you?

I took it as, he's not giving her the info that she hasn't yet actually asked him for. But I could be reading wrong.  

OP, if you had true concerns, like bleeding, horribly painful and timeable contractions, etc., I would hope you would press the issue.  But if your concerns are back pain, BH, etc., don't expect much more than a "that's to be expected, drink lots of water" from him.  And any other OB/MW you talk to. 

Um....chill.

Your doctor sounds normal.  You sound cracked.

ggatlanta:

For lots of reasons, not the least of which is the below, I think the problem may be *you*, not the doctor.

amilynndoe:

I am seriously considering stopping by his office on the way to the hospital and slashing his tires so he wont be there to deliver my child.

This may sound harsh, but your "financial woes" are not the doctor's problem. Your back pain may be his problem, but I would trust him if he thinks the best thing to do is to let the baby come when he's ready and not to rush things because you're in pain.

PS, can I be the first to call MUD? Fellow 3rd-tri-ers, we have lots of issues here: the OP hints that she wants to be induced early because she's in pain (her doc says no, so she thinks he's a jerk); apparently she wishes the doctor was more concerned about baby's size; and then she claims that she's 35+ weeks but doesn't know (and won't research) how to tell if she's going into labor. I mean, how do you get to 35+ weeks and not get curious enough to google labor symptoms? I smell a troll.

amilynndoe:

When I ask questions in relation to my bipolar depression, or hyperventilation attacks he gives a general answer saying sunlight or there is nothing that can be done. Nothing about how it will affect the baby or if I can possibly hurt her with my physical symptoms. As for my due date i was told the twelfth the first time i went in so I've nbsp;been planning my meticulous maternity leave around this date until i found out it was a week earlier. nbsp;Even after my ultra sound no one told me I had a different edd. Other than an your ok at every appointment I don't receive any upcoming informations like when to go on maternity leave, what I need to expect in relation to what is going on ie what contractions feel like the best thing to do if I have an attack and how to relieve symptoms if at all. I don't even know what type of shots are required or recommended for baby. I keep being told by my coworker that I am going to get diabetes or iron deficiency from being pregnant and I know I shouldn't listen to it but it all effects me. Even people on here random strangers that don't fully grasp my concerns for fears that call me crazy or overreacting make me feel horrible. I can't take medication for my bipolar because he feels that it wouldn't be good, which I understand but other than get sunlight he has no other solution or compromise to help.nbsp;

saturdaynightdoubletree:

I think you'll find all OBs to be the same. Talk to your primary care or mental health doctor about nonpregnancy issues, and how it will effect you being pregnant... That's more their territory. As for the u/s showing an earlier due date, my u/s have been plus or minus a few weeks every time, and the doctor doesn't change your due date for that, although you might see different dates on your charts. HTH. Seek alternate help, your OB isn't responsible to explain how things are going to feel and happen, it's pregnancy, everyone is different and there is no way to know how your contractions are going to feel or if you'll need to be induced, which is part od the reason they dont come to you and tell you. Read a legitimate book on pregnancy and infants, tell your coworker to F off, and if the Internet is causing stress don't go online.

amilynndoe:

When I ask questions in relation to my bipolar depression, or hyperventilation attacks he gives a general answer saying sunlight or there is nothing that can be done. Nothing about how it will affect the baby or if I can possibly hurt her with my physical symptoms. As for my due date i was told the twelfth the first time i went in so I've  been planning my meticulous maternity leave around this date until i found out it was a week earlier.  Even after my ultra sound no one told me I had a different edd. Other than an your ok at every appointment I don't receive any upcoming informations like when to go on maternity leave, what I need to expect in relation to what is going on ie what contractions feel like the best thing to do if I have an attack and how to relieve symptoms if at all. I don't even know what type of shots are required or recommended for baby. I keep being told by my coworker that I am going to get diabetes or iron deficiency from being pregnant and I know I shouldn't listen to it but it all effects me. Even people on here random strangers that don't fully grasp my concerns for fears that call me crazy or overreacting make me feel horrible. I can't take medication for my bipolar because he feels that it wouldn't be good, which I understand but other than get sunlight he has no other solution or compromise to help. 

He does not support any other methods to help with your mental issues so my suggestion is to see a therapist.

As far as the rest of this goes, that is completely normal.  My ultrasounds measured diffrently but they said they would not change my due date unless it was a 10 day difference.  Due dates are not concrete anyway so you really cannot plan your exact maternity leave on that anyway.  Also, I never got a play by play of what contactions will feel like, but I am sure I will know when it happens.  And as far as shots (I assume you mean immunizations) are something you discuss with the peidatrician you chose, not your OB.

amilynndoe:

When I ask questions in relation to my bipolar depression, or hyperventilation attacks he gives a general answer saying sunlight or there is nothing that can be done. Nothing about how it will affect the baby or if I can possibly hurt her with my physical symptoms. As for my due date i was told the twelfth the first time i went in so I've  been planning my meticulous maternity leave around this date until i found out it was a week earlier.  Even after my ultra sound no one told me I had a different edd. Other than an your ok at every appointment I don't receive any upcoming informations like when to go on maternity leave, what I need to expect in relation to what is going on ie what contractions feel like the best thing to do if I have an attack and how to relieve symptoms if at all. I don't even know what type of shots are required or recommended for baby. I keep being told by my coworker that I am going to get diabetes or iron deficiency from being pregnant and I know I shouldn't listen to it but it all effects me. Even people on here random strangers that don't fully grasp my concerns for fears that call me crazy or overreacting make me feel horrible. I can't take medication for my bipolar because he feels that it wouldn't be good, which I understand but other than get sunlight he has no other solution or compromise to help. 

Babies generally come on their own sometime between 38 and 42 weeks. You can't plan it out like you'd like, and there's really nothing your OB can do to help the unpredictability of pregnancy and childbirth.

Many medications used to treat mental health issues are unsafe during pregnancy. He is probably giving you the best advice he knows of. If you are having trouble with bipolar or anxiety, seek the help of a psychologist who is familiar with treating pregnant patients. Your OB may have a recommendation.

Take a childbirth class or get a book from the library about birth. It will explain contractions (which can feel different depending on the position of the baby), when you should go to the hospital, what to expect during the different phases of labor. IMO, it is your responsibility to educate yourself on this - your doc doesn't have the time to take several hours explaining it all to you. That's why there are classes. Check with your hospital for one that would include a tour of L&D so you can see it and be more comfortable when you show up to have your baby.

A pediatrician will tell you what shots are recommended for baby. It has nothing to do with your doctor.

Your doctor has almost certainly screened you for diabetes and iron deficiency. So long as you have been doing the recommended testing, no news is good news. The diabetes thing was a test where you drank a sugary drink and they drew your blood an hour later. My iron levels were also checked with a 2nd vial of blood at the same blood draw as the diabetes test (which is called the glucose tolerance test, in case you've seen that on here).

It sounds like your doctor is doing his job. If you need more from him, ask him very specific questions to get the answers. Take a deep breath and relax.

Okay, then, if this IS real (and I can believe the BpD thing actually), you need your psychiatrist, not your OB, to help you with meds. They may choose to work together, but if not, keep MH questions for your regular psychiatrist. If you live near a major teaching hospital, you should try to get a referral to a psychiatrist in a women's clinic there. Your OB's office might have a name for you or your regular psychiatrist might. A specialized women's psych clinic will have experience in dealing with neuro and psych issues in women particularly, and they will likely have a combo OB/psych on staff. He'll be up to date on the safest, most useful, best researched treatments during pregnancy, and he can advise you about the best ways to reduce your symptoms. But if there's not a psychiatric women's clinic close to you, at least be sure your regular psych knows what's going on. If you're really as wound up as all that, the risks of medication may be outweighed by the risks of your untreated illness.

So, to answer your OP again: no, your OB is not wrong, except that he may not be appreciating how sick you could get - but then again, neither are you since you have let it get this bad, and your health is ultimately your responsibility, even moreso with a disease that a doctor can't "see". Since you know your issue well enough to explain it to us, you know it well enough to explain it to a doctor, which you need to do - preferably five minutes ago, not weeks from now. Your OB was not the correct doctor to ask, because that's not what he does. (You wouldn't ask your psychiatrist to deliver your baby or treat a yeast infection either.)

You will feel better. You just need some help, and you have to go get it. If you feel like no one is listening, that just means you are still sick. So tell someone, someone who can help - your family doctor, your psychiatrist, your SO if he or she can handle setting some appointments to get you started. Then force yourself to follow the rules the psychiatrist lays out (SLEEP!), and it'll get better.

1.  Sign up for a prenatal class -- some you can do in an intensive weekend, some are a series of lectures over the course of several weeks.  These will answer most of your questions about your pregnancy, the nature of labour and delivery and your options for pain management.

2.  Do not fixate on your EDD -- remember, it is an estimated due date, not a guarantee.  Babe can come any time: early, late, very late.

3.  Write down 3 questions for your next OB appt -- ask you OB 3 things: perhaps glucose and iron are on the list, perhaps back pain or breathing problems, if he is reluctant or unable to provide guidance, ask for a referral to a specialist.

4.  Stop fixating on everything -- you are pregnant, not ill.  Your body is going through normal and natural changes but your body can cope.  Ease up on the worry, it is counterproductive and frankly damaging.

amilynndoe:

When I ask questions in relation to my bipolar depression, or hyperventilation attacks he gives a general answer saying sunlight or there is nothing that can be done. Nothing about how it will affect the baby or if I can possibly hurt her with my physical symptoms. As for my due date i was told the twelfth the first time i went in so I've  been planning my meticulous maternity leave around this date until i found out it was a week earlier.  Even after my ultra sound no one told me I had a different edd. Other than an your ok at every appointment I don't receive any upcoming informations like when to go on maternity leave, what I need to expect in relation to what is going on ie what contractions feel like the best thing to do if I have an attack and how to relieve symptoms if at all. I don't even know what type of shots are required or recommended for baby. I keep being told by my coworker that I am going to get diabetes or iron deficiency from being pregnant and I know I shouldn't listen to it but it all effects me. Even people on here random strangers that don't fully grasp my concerns for fears that call me crazy or overreacting make me feel horrible. I can't take medication for my bipolar because he feels that it wouldn't be good, which I understand but other than get sunlight he has no other solution or compromise to help. 

1.  An OB is not a therapist or a psychiatrist.  If you need help emotionally you need to seek help from a professional in that field  

2. What do you mean hurt your baby with your physical symptoms?

3. Meticulously planning your maternity leave is a joke.  Babies don't come on a schedule.  

4.  What kind of "attacks" are you having or do you think you will have?  

5.  Your OB is not going to tell you what shots to give your child.  They are not a pediatrician.  Find a pediatrician and pick up a parenting book that goes into detail about newborn care. 

6.  Your coworker sounds just as lost as you.

7.  Once again, if you are truly having emotional issues that you feel are not normal or are out of control you need to seek help from a professional in their field.  You OB cannot help you.  

LoisLane23:

Seriously? You are an adult. Do the damn research if you want to be an informed parent. It's not the doctor's job to give you step by step instructions on how to be a parent.

This.  Seriously.  Do some freaking research.  Ask specific questions.  It's called being proactive.  Quit waiting for someone to baby you.

And get off the EDD issue.  It's an ESTIMATE.  Babies come early/late all of the time.  No one can tell you when to take maternity leave.  I can't believe someone has to explain this to you...   

amilynndoe:

I am seriously considering stopping by his office on the way to the hospital and slashing his tires so he wont be there to deliver my child.

Well. That's mature. 

amilynndoe:

When I ask questions in relation to my bipolar depression, or hyperventilation attacks he gives a general answer saying sunlight or there is nothing that can be done. Nothing about how it will affect the baby or if I can possibly hurt her with my physical symptoms. As for my due date i was told the twelfth the first time i went in so I've  been planning my meticulous maternity leave around this date until i found out it was a week earlier.  Even after my ultra sound no one told me I had a different edd. Other than an your ok at every appointment I don't receive any upcoming informations like when to go on maternity leave, what I need to expect in relation to what is going on ie what contractions feel like the best thing to do if I have an attack and how to relieve symptoms if at all. I don't even know what type of shots are required or recommended for baby. I keep being told by my coworker that I am going to get diabetes or iron deficiency from being pregnant and I know I shouldn't listen to it but it all effects me. Even people on here random strangers that don't fully grasp my concerns for fears that call me crazy or overreacting make me feel horrible. I can't take medication for my bipolar because he feels that it wouldn't be good, which I understand but other than get sunlight he has no other solution or compromise to help. 

I feel for ya, and I have a friend with bipolar so I can understand how frustrating this must be for you. (Well, I can't completely understand, but I can sympathize.)

Your coworker is right. You "could" get diabetes, and you just might need to get more iron in your diet. (My midwife keeps telling me to get more iron since I'll be loosing a lot of blood during labor... like everybody else.)

But in regards to dealing with your doctor, doctors don't just load you up with information. You HAVE to ask these questions.

I'm not sure I follow what happened with your due date, but that sounds wack. However, it's completely your responsibility to figure out how much leave you want to take, not your doctor's. I told my midwife during my last appointment that I wanted to take more than the 4 weeks prior to my due date, and she was on board with singing the papers saying that I needed 5 weeks before my due date. I made the call. No one else. It's MY life, MY pregnancy, and one thing this experience has taught me is that if I'm not on top of MY PREGNANCY, then no one will be.