Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > April 2013 Moms

Sort:
12-03-2012 at 3:30 PM
DebbieCake...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2012
49 Posts
1,131 Points
DebbieCakes77 is not online. Last active: 03-21-2013, 1:58 PMNewbie

Officially settled on a name, but omitting part until after shes born..

Ive been wanting to include my mothers middle name in the babys name, if she were a girl but when we were all going over names, my mother in law was offended that i didnt want to include her or her mothers names. And then went on with all the combinations of names that included those names.

Ive always said Im not one for naming after someone. My other girls are not named after anyone.

So when we found it was a girl, we agreed on Rilynn Arabella. Love the name(i realize not everyone will, but thats ok)

I want to add Christeen. Its my moms middle name. She passed away in Feb at 53 years old. Before she knew i was getting married and was pregnant.

My husband and I thought we would continue saying the baby will be Rilynn Arabella, and then when shes born, slip the Christeen in there. Im not sure I could handle 3+ months of my mother in law bugging me to add Betty or Gertrude.

Having 2 middle names is a stretch even, but to have 3 or more, no way. lol

Am i being an ass? lol
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:35 PM
colleenh01
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-30-2011
359 Posts
6,701 Points
colleenh01 is not online. Last active: 04-03-2013, 7:32 AMNewbie
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom.

I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:38 PM
DebbieCake...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2012
49 Posts
1,131 Points
DebbieCakes77 is not online. Last active: 03-21-2013, 1:58 PMNewbie

Thanks.

Hormones arent helping me right now, lol

I love my MIL to death but shes not the think before she speaks type.

She once said how excited she was that she didnt have to share this baby with any other grandparents...(My dad passed 2 years ago as well)

Its easier for me to not mention it until its done. Im just hoping there isnt backlash for keeping it to ourselves.

 
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:39 PM
Raven01
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-26-2012
814 Posts
10,337 Points
Raven01 is not online. Last active: 05-12-2013, 11:01 PMBronze

colleenh01:
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom. I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.

Absolutely this Yes. If she can't understand your reasons, then that's too bad.
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:41 PM
DebbieCake...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2012
49 Posts
1,131 Points
DebbieCakes77 is not online. Last active: 03-21-2013, 1:58 PMNewbie

Thanks.

Thats what i love about the boards. Getting to talk to people that arent attached to the situation.
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:43 PM
JSS1002
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-07-2012
4,328 Posts
84,880 Points
JSS1002 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:42 AMSilver
Raven01:

colleenh01:
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom. I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.

Absolutely this Yes. If she can't understand your reasons, then that's too bad.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:43 PM
JSS1002
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-07-2012
4,328 Posts
84,880 Points
JSS1002 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:42 AMSilver
Raven01:

colleenh01:
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom. I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.

Absolutely this Yes. If she can't understand your reasons, then that's too bad.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:44 PM
Enigma11
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-14-2007
Kingston Ontario
404 Posts
6,782 Points
Enigma11 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie
I don't think you are being an ass at all, I think your MIL is. Of course you'd want to honour your mother by naming your daughter after her, she is being insensitive even bugging you about it.

I'm sorry for your loss. I lostmy dad when I was 17, it isso hard to lose them so young and know they can't be here for all of our big life events.

ETA: what does your husband think?
Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:44 PM
JSS1002
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-07-2012
4,328 Posts
84,880 Points
JSS1002 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:42 AMSilver
JSS1002:
Raven01:

colleenh01:
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom. I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.

Absolutely this Yes. If she can't understand your reasons, then that's too bad.

Yep, I agree wiht all of this as well. 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:45 PM
kimmarie11...
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-16-2012
933 Posts
18,511 Points
kimmarie1105 is not online. Last active: 05-09-2013, 12:05 PMBronze
DebbieCakes77:

Thanks.

Hormones arent helping me right now, lol

I love my MIL to death but shes not the think before she speaks type.

She once said how excited she was that she didnt have to share this baby with any other grandparents...(My dad passed 2 years ago as well)

Its easier for me to not mention it until its done. Im just hoping there isnt backlash for keeping it to ourselves.

 

 

Jeeeeeez! God bless your patience! Im very sorry about your parents. That has to be tough. I feel that you are using the name as a namesake, a way to honor your mother. Your MIL is still here. Having her grandaughter in her life should be enough. If she doesnt like it or understand it, it's her problem not yours.

BTW, very pretty name! 
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:45 PM
TroopT45
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-20-2012
107 Posts
1,869 Points
TroopT45 is not online. Last active: 05-02-2013, 7:10 PMNewbie
I think that your MIL needs to back off! It isn't her's or anyone else's place to tell you what you should or should not name your child. I think using your mother's middle name is a lovely idea.  I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that your MIL takes a breath and get's over herself.
Pregnancy Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:45 PM
whitneylau...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-02-2011
753 Posts
14,709 Points
whitneylauren is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 12:05 PMBronze
It does sound like she can be insensitive. She got to name her babies and you get to name yours.
BabyName Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:48 PM
efujan
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-10-2009
286 Posts
5,442 Points
efujan is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 12:38 PMNewbie

I don't think you're being an ass.  I can completely understand where you're coming from.  I'd probably hold back from sharing the second middle name info until after baby is born if it were me. 

Plus - I love that it's a way to sort of give your mom a little tribute and have her still be a part of this little one's life in some way.  Your MIL gets the joy of holding the baby & having that baby get to know her in return.  I'm thinking she'll understand (or come around to understanding) when she realizes that she definitely not getting the short end of the stick in this situation . . . .


BIG GRIN!! ~~~~~~~~~~~ Mookie loves her little brother
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:51 PM
DebbieCake...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2012
49 Posts
1,131 Points
DebbieCakes77 is not online. Last active: 03-21-2013, 1:58 PMNewbie
Husband is on board. Hes also for waiting to fill her in after its done.
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:54 PM
DebbieCake...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-17-2012
49 Posts
1,131 Points
DebbieCakes77 is not online. Last active: 03-21-2013, 1:58 PMNewbie

Thanks for the input everyone.

Im finding with the hormones, the missing parents, the upcoming holidays, that im less trusting of my reactions lol

I was thinking it was worth checking in case I was actually the problem. I wasnt sure I was, but Im definitely sensitive at the point in the pregnancy.

 

 
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:55 PM
tondraluv
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-24-2008
Covina,Ca
1,969 Posts
37,477 Points
tondraluv is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 12:46 AMBronze
colleenh01:
First of all, I am really sorry for the loss of your mom.

I don't think you're being an ass at all. It's a way for you to honor your mother, and MIL should really understand given the circumstances. I would hope if you explain that to her, she would be understanding! If she doesn't, oh well.


Completely agree
updated w/ reviews & some pix Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 3:59 PM
NativeFlor...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-22-2010
4,921 Posts
82,312 Points
NativeFloridian is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:39 PMSilver

I don't think you're being an @ss, I think your MIL is being presumptuous.  If you and your husband agreed on adding your mother's middle name, then continue as planned.  She can't do anything about it.

As I see it, your only choice now is whether to tell your MIL, point blank, that you will not be using her names and deal with her being butthurt, or just ignore her and deal with the persistent suggestions.  I'm thinking that either way she's going to have something to say.  Something about pregnancy does this to people (especially grandmas).

Good luck! 

"Those abs do not say I'm precious. They say I'm about to wreck you six ways from Sunday, so I hope you have some vacation time to use at work." -BADBetty


 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 4:04 PM
EyeStoneFl...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-29-2012
34 Posts
618 Points
EyeStoneFlowers is not online. Last active: 03-18-2013, 9:35 PMNewbie

I don't believe you're being an ass at all. You want to honor your mom, who passed away (by the way, my condolences). If your MIL doesn't understand then she needs to check herself. 

This is the exact reason why my husband and I chose not to share our baby naming process for our twins that are coming in late March/ early April with our family members. We didn't want random names being thrown out at us by random family members.
Pregnancy Ticker Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 4:04 PM
DarlingNIk...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-18-2012
1,301 Posts
23,077 Points
DarlingNIkki1028 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 1:05 AMBronze
First of all, I'm so very sorry for the loss of both your parents. My dad passed five years ago, and we're naming our daughter after him the feminine version of his name. I personally wouldn't name a child after someone still living, and I think your choice is absolutely fine. For me, giving my baby my father's name is a chance for him to be a part of her life always. Your MIL already gets to be in your LO's life, that should be enough for her. And the whole "sharing with other grandparents" comment? Ouch. I would have lost it!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Anniversary
BFP #1: 5/10/12; 5/22/12: pregnancy deemed not viable (probably CP)
BFP #2: 8/2/12; Due date: 4/14/13 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 5:37 PM
bethelon
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-13-2002
Delaware
1,186 Posts
1,423 Points
bethelon is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 2:18 PMBronze

Sorry for your loss!

We always keep the names of our children private (strictly private...as in, only the two of us know!) until birth.  Too many opinions and it's our child to name, everyone else had their chance with their own kids ;)  So don't feel bad at all about keeping names private 


 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 6:10 PM
Trish&Pete...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-20-2006
Burlington
1,253 Posts
24,035 Points
Trish&Pete07 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 6:10 PMBronze
This is our 3rd and every time I've been pg my FIL has bugged the entire time for us to name it after him if it is a boy (Arie). NOT going to happen. DH wants a miny-me (Peter) and if it is a boy it will be named Peter Theodore, after DH and my father who passed away when i was 17. My FIL can shove it! He has bugged me so much about naming the kid Arie that we have told him what the baby's name will be if it is a boy and he thinks we should give the baby a 2nd middle name. Sorry NOT going to happen. Besides his DAUGHTER gave one of her sons Arie as a middle name. He says it doesn't count because the boy has his father's last name so it isn't the same. 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 6:11 PM
letranger
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-30-2010
Philadelphia
4,404 Posts
70,302 Points
letranger is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 9:31 PMSilver
I think it is very sweet. And your mil has already named children.
photo 0B5784BC-2243-42B1-8B4D-444BA9B2FFF3-2926-000001D09DCEA319_zps512e6cc9.jpg

m 1/2011 & j 4/2013 Bike Mama Blog 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 7:22 PM
jsaltz82
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-11-2010
121 Posts
2,372 Points
jsaltz82 is online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 1:26 AMNewbie
Some cultures find it to be a bad omen or bad luck to name a new child after someone who has not yet passed.  Just an idea....
Together happily for 7 years, Married March 2012--Buckle up! BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-03-2012 at 10:25 PM
lifesadanc...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-04-2009
Illinois
2,984 Posts
14,367 Points
lifesadance is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 11:37 AMSilver

Do what you like, it's your child.  I think it's a beautiful name (with either middle name) and a wonderful way to honor your mother.  I am so sorry for your loss of her.

DS's names are all family names and we ended up with 2 middle names but that was our doing not because of outside pressures from people.

I HATE when people are pushy about names.  We are name undecided and I'm very open to name suggestions but if someone were to become pushy about "why not my name? "Why did you name after your mom and not me?" etc, that person's opinions would automatically be tossed aside.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board