I'm so sorry for your loss and for the uneducated, insensitive comments you recieved. It most certainly DID count. ::hugs::
As for waiting - I was given the go-ahead to start right away on that next cycle. Part of me wonders if I should have waited a month but I felt more proactive by jumping straight back in. If it happens again, I plan to take a mental health break for at least a cycle. So I guess my answer is is that if she gives you the go-ahead to TTC, start as soon as you feel physically and mentally prepared.