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12-04-2012 at 9:32 AM
Mr&MrsMTA
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12yr age gap...is it ok to have Baby Shower??

I will try to keep this short, I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage that I had when I was very young. I am re-married and my DH and I now expecting his first and my 3rd child. I know this is so early in my pregnancy to be asking, but my friends are like me VERY early planners lol. So my question is my BFF whats to throw my baby shower mostly just DH family and close friends my youngest daughter is 12yrs old so I have absolutly no baby stuff left over. Is it ok for me to accept a shower or will this look tacky?? I would not ask for anything big like crib or dresser/changing table just small things and clothes I guess.

 What do you think?


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12-04-2012 at 9:45 AM
JordynLeig...
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Technically a shower is given to welcome a NEW mother into motherhood. Being that you are already a mother to two children, I would side eye it. But since someone offered, that is up to you. If you're wanting to "celebrate every baby" I would suggest to your host having a meet the baby, which doesn't include gifts.

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12-04-2012 at 9:55 AM
highlights
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I absolutely would not side eye a shower in this situation. I think you are okay with another shower.

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12-04-2012 at 10:01 AM
twister22
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I would definitely not side eye it. If I were your friend, I would enjoy going to a shower for you and I would WANT to get you a gift, especially knowing that you had nothing left, not to mention baby equipment and items have changed drastically in 12 years!
 
12-04-2012 at 10:23 AM
Estwd2
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The only exception I give to second showers is if it's the father's first baby and it will be a shower for his family. Since they have yet to welcome you into motherhood, sure, let them. But if it's a shower for your friends and family who have already attended one, then I'd think it's tacky.

Here's a good rule of thumb for these kinds of questions: think of the guest list. Of the people who would be invited, how many of them have ever attended, thrown, or been the guest of honor at showers for subsequent children? If it hasn't been done, I wouldn't be the first!


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12-04-2012 at 10:29 AM
KateMW
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I have no issue with a shower for a gap larger than 5 years, so 12 is a-ok with me. Have fun and enjoy it!

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12-04-2012 at 10:32 AM
526SadieSa...
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I'm going to say it's fine because your children have different dads.  If this is the first child for your husband, it's fine to have a shower for his side of the family.


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12-04-2012 at 10:45 AM
Helenahhan...
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If someone offers to throw you a shower, I think it is OK for you to accept.

I personally might roll my eyes a little, but if it were a very close friend of mine in the same situation, I would attend.


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12-04-2012 at 12:01 PM
Joy2611
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I think it's fine to have a shower when your youngest is twelve and this is your husband's first child.
12-04-2012 at 12:32 PM
a13049
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My family would not attend a second+ babyshower but would still bring gifts when they visit LO.  My friends, especially younger friends, have second+ baby showers all the time. So I would take into consideration the social circles that would be invited to the shower.   I think its okay if you invite DH family and close friends who didn't come to your first baby shower.  With the 12 year age gap, I wouldn't judge you. 

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12-04-2012 at 12:43 PM
5LittleBea...
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12 years is a large gap and I personally in no way would side-eye this.

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12-04-2012 at 2:19 PM
amcourt09
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5LittleBears:
12 years is a large gap and I personally in no way would side-eye this.

Same. Especially since this LO is your H's first. I wouldn't side-eye you either. 

12-04-2012 at 2:20 PM
jvaeth2012
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My first is 15 yrs old ( I was also really young), I'm remarried, and this will also be DHs first baby. My mom, MIL, and BF are hosting a shower for us. In our families and circle of friends it is acceptable to have a second shower depending on the circumstance. We are more than capable to provide everything that we need and have already purchased all the big stuff. However our family and friends have made a point to tell us to STOP purchasing things.

 

So if they are offering I say go for it and enjoy it!


 
12-04-2012 at 2:43 PM
JenniD2
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I'm usually in the camp of "one shower for the first baby" unless it is DH's first and/or a huge age gap. I would be ok if you had a shower with DH's family. But I would only limit the guest list to his side of the family as it is his first.

 
12-04-2012 at 4:31 PM
TX-Bride
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Totally fine!
 
12-04-2012 at 9:06 PM
rhubarb123
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a13049:
My family would not attend a second+ babyshower but would still bring gifts when they visit LO.  My friends, especially younger friends, have second+ baby showers all the time. So I would take into consideration the social circles that would be invited to the shower.   I think its okay if you invite DH family and close friends who didn't come to your first baby shower.  With the 12 year age gap, I wouldn't judge you. 

My family feels the same.  My friends are more like my family...rarely do they have second showers.  I did have a friend who remarried and her DH did not have any children...so it was his first.  She invited people she didn't know when she had her first shower and her DH's side of the family.  If someone wants to host a shower for you then it is fine.

 
12-04-2012 at 9:17 PM
cinderin
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I would side eye it. 

But an invite is not a mandate - so I probably would not attend.

I *would* attend a "welcome baby" party - which I think is a better option for you.  


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12-07-2012 at 9:14 AM
mhickey426
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Due to the age gap of your children and the fact that it is his first child I don't see anything wrong with having a shower.  I think it is perfectly acceptable. 

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12-07-2012 at 9:38 AM
Liz4444
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I've never understood why a larger age gap would make a difference, you aren't less of a mother because your kids are 12 years apart instead of 2.  However, if someone offered, fine.  Just be very cautious with the guest list.

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12-07-2012 at 8:07 PM
soaringflu...
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I think it's fine to have a shower, no matter what the age gap difference is, but then I'm an older mom to be, and not prone to be bound by what's politically correct.  Babies can always use new stuff and clearly you are in need.  Congratulations on your pregnancy!
 
12-09-2012 at 7:11 AM
LadyDelila...
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Im of the camp that every baby should be celebrated in some way. 12 years is a whole other family and its his first so I wouldnt side eye that his family wants to do something or your friends want to do something to include you I think its nice.

Have fun. Dont worry too much and GL


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12-09-2012 at 5:01 PM
stephanien...
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I do not think its a bad thing.... My SIL had a "sprinkle" shower for her son when she was pregnant 2 yrs after having my niece.... to each their own.. my friends are having a little gift exchange for me because I have an almost 4 yr old and have nothing... 

 

 
12-10-2012 at 11:52 PM
sherriebab...
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I would not side eye it one bit.each baby is different and special and your closest friends who love you want to celebrate with you! That is beautiful. That's what you send out invitations for. You invite those you feel would be happy to join in the party and who ever does  not want to come. Don't. But please don't feel bad for accepting gifts from the heart. 12 year gap? Your practically starting all over again. New baby needs new essentials. Let your loved ones show their love. Be great full. And ENJOY. 
 
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