Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > Baby Showers

Sort:
12-04-2012 at 11:04 AM
graciesmur...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-30-2009
1,185 Posts
11,256 Points
graciesmurf is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 12:45 AMBronze

"It's NOT a boy" banner

There is a Friends episode with Rachel's shower/coming home that has a banner that says, "It's NOT a boy".  Phoebe bought an "It's a boy" banner and added the "NOT".

My sister and mom are hosting my baby shower.  My sister is a big fan of the show and plans on having a similar banner displayed at the shower they're hosting for me.  I know this because my mom told her it was in bad taste and she and my sister are fighting over it--I got put in the middle but have only listened to both sides, but gave no imput.  Basically I said, "Whatever you two decide is fine with me".  They are both still pushing me to join a side though.

Truthfully, I agree with my mom.  I'm not a big fan of the show and it's been over for about 10 years now.  I don't think the guests will understand the joke. 

Also, my DH is a 3rd and when we announced the pregnancy to his family everyone started talking about carrying on the name.  When we found out we're having a girl a lot of people were disappointed at first then came back with a, "well, the next one will be a boy" attitude.  DH and I are not disappointed this LO is a girl, we love her exactly how she is.  I don't want to give the impression that we are upset she's not a boy.  I also do not want to deal with more of the "wish it was a boy" comments and I feel like this would bring it up.

As the guest of honor, am I allowed to tell my sister that I don't like the idea?  I don't want to be ungrateful.  I'm prepared to grin and bear it if that's what is expected.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:09 AM
MelRC117
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-27-2012
5,322 Posts
73,397 Points
MelRC117 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:44 PMSilver
I don't think anyone will get it and I think it would also be in poor taste.  Your DH's might see it as everyone else was hoping it was a boy, too and bought the banner and then when you found out you were having a girl they had to add the "not".  I think the only one that will get it are people who watched Friends and are big fans of the show that will connect the two.  It might be funny for your SISTER'S shower, but I don't get why she is stuck on it for yours.  I know how you feel kinda as fair as one family being almost disappointed the baby is of one sex and not the other, so I see where you are coming from. 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:11 AM
ordinary1
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-16-2011
521 Posts
8,565 Points
ordinary1 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 4:22 AMBronze
Personally I think the only input you should give is date and guest list. However, since they asked I would think you could say you would prefer that a different banner be used.
Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:30 AM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
31,757 Posts
40,980 Points
EastCoastBride is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 6:30 PMPlatinum

Tell her what you said here.  Just tell her that you don't think guests will understand the joke, and past that, tell her about DH's family and their attitude.  You REALLY don't want to perpetuate any issues and you're concerned that this banner will eithre come across as a jab at them OR an admission that you aren't happy you're having a girl.

I would hope she could understand this.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:48 AM
milkergirl...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-05-2010
743 Posts
14,122 Points
milkergirl1 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 11:06 PMBronze
I think you have the right to say "no" to the banner.  I watched Friends and I didn't get the connection until you mentioned the show and remembered the episode.  So I don't think the guests will get it, or even that it's that funny. 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:49 AM
rubber duc...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-28-2012
91 Posts
1,836 Points
rubber ducky07 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:55 PMNewbie
I really don't think anyone could even make that connection. I'm a huge Friends fan and I would never have made that connection. She's your sister, just be honest. Just don't make it seem like you are taking sides with your mom or she'll probably feel mad or defensive about it. Maybe talk to her about it in private and let her make the decision not to use it.
Cranbabies DSC_0241 BabyFetus Ticker BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 11:51 AM
aeh72
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-05-2008
874 Posts
10,630 Points
aeh72 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:54 AMBronze

I agree with you and pps that the banner is in poor taste and, if it were me, I would worry that guests would think it's how I felt and not just a silly decorating idea of the host.  While I'm usually of the line that the guest of honor shouldn't have much say in the details of the party, I think it would be perfectly appropriate for you in this circumstance to ask you sister not to display the banner for the reason you gave about DH's family (although they need to get over being disappointed!), and also because people make take it the wrong way - either (as you suggested) that you're upset she's not a boy, or I think it could even be taken as some sort of celebration that you aren't having a boy - i.e., "thank goodness we're not having a boy!"  I wouldn't want to have to spend my shower explaining it to everyone!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:04 PM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,911 Posts
44,467 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:43 AMSilver

milkergirl1:
I think you have the right to say "no" to the banner.  I watched Friends and I didn't get the connection until you mentioned the show and remembered the episode.  So I don't think the guests will get it, or even that it's that funny. 

This.  I'm a big fan of the show and watch re-runs all the time.  I don't remember it.  I wouldn't find it funny and all around just think it's in poor taste.  Just no. 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:04 PM
Joy2611
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-02-2009
6,452 Posts
53,130 Points
Joy2611 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:01 PMGold
Honestly, I think the "It's not a boy!" banner is funny and silly.  I'd laugh at it.  I was okay with it being at your shower until you brought up the namesake/boy debacle.  That would be in poor taste.  I feel like some guests could definitely misconstrue the humor of the banner.  Just tell your sister no.
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:12 PM
Mrs E in O...
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-06-2012
370 Posts
5,813 Points
Mrs E in Oregon is not online. Last active: 03-29-2013, 11:43 AMNewbie
The first thing I thought from the title of this post was that after 3 boys maybe you were finally having a girl or your hubby is one of 10 boys. That would make sense to me, but that reference is so dated. If you were having a baby 9 years ago when Friends was still relevant, maybe. But she's going to have to explain that to everyone coming in and they won't get it. I'd go with "It's a girl" or if you've chosen a name make a banner with the name of your baby on it.
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:17 PM
Disneygeek...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-14-2003
7,071 Posts
21,876 Points
Disneygeek77 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:26 PMGold
I personally think this is an occasion when it is ok to speak up and give your opinion. Let sis know you get the joke, but a lot of people might not and might even offend some. 
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:28 PM
a13049
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-29-2012
723 Posts
12,821 Points
a13049 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:48 PMBronze
When I read the title, the first thing I thought was about the Friends episode.  However, even as a huge friends fan I wouldn't really like it at my shower.  I think, since they have asked you can politely give you opinion without sounding like the controling momzilla.  Especially with the issues on you DH side, it could be taken wrong and that isn't the point of the joke/banner.
IAmPregnant Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 12:54 PM
jnjmommy06...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-14-2009
massachusetts
1,169 Posts
8,346 Points
jnjmommy0609 is not online. Last active: 03-25-2013, 1:30 PMBronze

Being a HUGE fan of that show I find it funny and would love it if someone did that for me..but that is me. If I were to host a party for someone I would try my best to bring their personality into the party. Not my own.

 

You were asked for your opinion. Go ahead and give it in a polite manner. If your sister can't take the truth even if it's polite then that is her problem
Visit The Nest!  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 1:17 PM
kari5186
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-11-2008
New Hampshire
2,208 Posts
26,110 Points
kari5186 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:52 PMSilver

I am a fan of the show and watch the re-runs all the time.  That said, I don't remember this banner.  I don't think people will get it and I do not think it's appropriate considering the excitement your DH's family felt at the idea of a little boy (even though I think it's crap that they acted less than thrilled you are having a girl...).

Since they asked, I'd veto it.  It's not cute.  It's not funny.   
Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 1:51 PM
526SadieSa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-06-2009
Hope, RI
6,493 Posts
34,926 Points
526SadieSadie is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 2:30 PMGold

I think its silly considering you're not a fan of the show and its been off the air for so long.  If it were still a current show the older guests might not get it but your contemporaries might.  It's just bizarre to make such a specific reference now.

Don't bring the personal politics into it, it's just not funny anymore.  Most of your guests would require an explanation - or they'd take a offense and not ask for clarification.  When/if your sister is having a girl you can give her the banner instead.
Anniversary  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 2:39 PM
JenniD2
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-22-2012
373 Posts
3,690 Points
JenniD2 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 1:35 PMNewbie

I agree with the PPs. Since your mom and sister asked you for your input, I would give it and say no to the sign. From the guest's perspective who didn't watch Friends, the reference would go over my head, and I would feel that it would be in poor taste.

If your sister feels this strongly over the Banner, you can suggest to her that she can have it for her own baby shower.

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 2:54 PM
teralane
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-28-2012
172 Posts
3,015 Points
teralane is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 4:42 PMNewbie

ordinary1:
Personally I think the only input you should give is date and guest list. However, since they asked I would think you could say you would prefer that a different banner be used.

 

This! 
Pregnancy Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 3:41 PM
highlights
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-30-2012
597 Posts
11,900 Points
highlights is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 10:20 PMBronze
I think it would be more appropriate for your sister's baby shower.
BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 4:03 PM
cgiles1208...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-30-2012
2,174 Posts
36,151 Points
cgiles120812 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:12 PMSilver

Joy2611:
Honestly, I think the "It's not a boy!" banner is funny and silly.  I'd laugh at it.  I was okay with it being at your shower until you brought up the namesake/boy debacle.  That would be in poor taste.  I feel like some guests could definitely misconstrue the humor of the banner.  Just tell your sister no.

This. 
Anniversary BFP#1- April 24th. M/c-April 30th. BFP#2-September 11th. EDD: May 25th. It's a girl!!! (: Madison arrived on May 19th at 6:35 am (:  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 4:33 PM
TX-Bride
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-10-2006
Austin, Tx
7,340 Posts
14,607 Points
TX-Bride is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 9:23 PMGold

I used to watch the show, but don't remember the episode, if you have to explain a joke, you lost the crowd, so I vote, no, too. As someone else mentioned that banner is more appropriate for your sister's shower, not your shower!!

 
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 8:24 PM
graciesmur...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-30-2009
1,185 Posts
11,256 Points
graciesmurf is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 12:45 AMBronze
Thanks everyone!  I called my sister this evening and explained why I don't love the banner idea.  She's a little upset with me, but I think she understands. :)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-04-2012 at 9:14 PM
rhubarb123
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-03-2010
3,343 Posts
12,812 Points
rhubarb123 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 7:39 AMSilver

I'm not a friends fan but have seen some of the episodes...but obviously not that one.  If I came to a shower that had a banner like that I would be thinking "wow, they bought the wrong banner and instead of forking over a couple more dollars for a new one they slapped a 'not' on it!"  I don't think a LOT of people would "get it".

Tell your sister you'd rather not have that banner.  If she has already purchased it just tell her it is OK not to have any banner at all...no need to buy a new one.  You can mention your DH's family and it would kind of look like a slap in the face to them...sort of a "neener neener...we are NOT having a boy!!!!  So take your name and ??? it!". 

BTW...I know the pressure from the hubs family to have a boy to "carry on the name".  I had a girl frist and they couldn't wait until I had a boy...he is the 5th!
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-05-2012 at 1:25 PM
PunkyBoost...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 11-03-2008
28,704 Posts
26,800 Points
PunkyBooster is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 12:17 AMPlatinum

I was an avid Friends watcher back in the day and that went right over my head. 

I also think, given the "disappointment" of his family that the banner would be tacky.

 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-05-2012 at 2:20 PM
Lexy and C...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-19-2011
296 Posts
5,410 Points
Lexy and Cole is not online. Last active: 04-04-2013, 12:21 PMNewbie
EastCoastBride:

Tell her what you said here.  Just tell her that you don't think guests will understand the joke, and past that, tell her about DH's family and their attitude.  You REALLY don't want to perpetuate any issues and you're concerned that this banner will eithre come across as a jab at them OR an admission that you aren't happy you're having a girl.

I would hope she could understand this.

This!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Pregnancy Ticker
Anniversary 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-06-2012 at 12:54 PM
MzCurnett8...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-17-2010
313 Posts
7,276 Points
MzCurnett8886 is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 12:06 AMNewbie
It's been ten years since the show ended, the connection is lost. If this was over a decade a ago then yes it could be considered cute. As much as your sister loves the show the decor and party is about you and your baby not her preferences. You are not even a fan yourself so I don't understand why it would be at your shower especially if it could cause issues with your in-laws. When she gets a shower then you can use it for her.
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-06-2012 at 6:31 PM
Krisands
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-06-2012
209 Posts
3,933 Points
Krisands is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 2:10 PMNewbie
At first while reading your story I thought no big deal just a banner, but getting to the part about your DH family I feel like it would be inappropriate. I feel like it could be taken that your upset or that your trying to rub it in your face. I would explain it to your sister using the family as an example. Then tell her you'll do it for hers :
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-08-2012 at 7:00 PM
sthomas122...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-10-2012
621 Posts
11,053 Points
sthomas1222 is not online. Last active: 04-07-2013, 6:30 PMBronze
Yeh I own the whole show on DVD and don't remember this... I'd explain the whole thing with the in-laws wishing it had been a boy and that you don't want your day filled with talk about them being sad that it's NOT a boy...
photo be1a8386-23ff-434a-beaf-1408a16593dd_zpsd844a7d8.jpg Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board

most active posters
BPaws
1,006 posts
sunlavende...
994 posts
linzeek44
611 posts
minicheezb...
413 posts
Nest Cayla
388 posts
sheacox
347 posts
NotElsie
306 posts
*Mrs*Rohrb...
222 posts
Love4Labs3...
203 posts
jertie
112 posts

connect with these online bumpies
mnbv9502! Jallen811
Samanthaashley93 shephotogs
Brittlentz GirlWithAnchors
celestialnyte linzluvsgzuss
Brendamndz JulieMarie21
thegoodpotato Alissa2515
Cherelle21 KraneRN
Cstepien09 MonekyStar
ggandlee FamBam12143
monalisa577 heathermaher09
berly917 marisabeth23
atysowski Eileen0311
WashingtonQueen Meggiemuggins
Aunt Edna Soozerella
yayamag liannemarie82
From The Nest Boards:
"Female friend too close for comfort?"
cate1st on Relationships

"Do your single friends not 'get' it?"
Rwilsonny on Family Matters