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12-04-2012 at 11:39 AM
KR250222
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KR250222 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 10:58 AMNewbie

Dealing with disappointment

I've been trying to conceive since April with no luck yet. I was *really* hoping this would be the month but yesterday at day 23, 6dpo, I began to feel slight twinges and heaviness in my right ovary which is signaling to me AF is coming soon. 

 I just feel so sad, like there is something wrong with me. I hear from so many co-workers, friends, family, that I shouldn't get upset or worried and that my time will come. It's just really difficult sometimes when I see how for some people it's much easier. (1st, 2nd, 3rd try.)

 I know it hasn't been that long and there are others in more serious situations than mine but it doesn't make these feelings from going away! I don't have anyone to talk to in my social circle who truly understands. I was wondering if anyone out there had any advice in regards to dealing with disappointment?

  


TTC since January 2012
Me: 30, All clear, DH: 32, Dx December 2012 low count and low motility
IVF with ICSI#1: Retrieval 4/18/13~ 20R 16F & 7 blasts
Transfer canceled due to OHSS and FET #1 in June Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 11:45 AM
Slapalicio...
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I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...
12-04-2012 at 11:47 AM
KR250222
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KR250222 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 10:58 AMNewbie

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 


TTC since January 2012
Me: 30, All clear, DH: 32, Dx December 2012 low count and low motility
IVF with ICSI#1: Retrieval 4/18/13~ 20R 16F & 7 blasts
Transfer canceled due to OHSS and FET #1 in June Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 11:48 AM
jgolladay
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I feel your pain! I wish I had some great wisdom for you to deal with your disappointment! I, unfortunately could use that wisdom myself. My husband and I have been ttc since January and still have not had any luck. We really have buckled down lately and have been trying to do EVERYTHING to help in the possibility of conceiving to no avail. I too am due to start AF soon, Monday to be particular and yesterday got very sore breasts not uncommon for me as I have fibrocystic breasts and felt slight cramping whenever I sit still. I was really hoping this was the month after doing everything right. We can commiserate together hun. I hope you find a way to deal with your disappointment. And GOOD LUCK ttgp!!
 
12-04-2012 at 11:49 AM
MrsM507
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Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

This. Get some new hobbies to keep you busy, too.

Slaps, I can't stop watching the gif in your siggy. Amazing!


TTC#2 Since July 2011
Me: 29, had two blocked tubes - left was cleared during lap&dye, right was unable to be cleared. PCOS & Stage 2 Endo. DH: 31, SA = perfect.
CLOMID: 4 rounds, 50mg + TI = BFN's.
FEMARA: 1 round = no response.
12-24-2012 : Laparoscopy, Softball sized cyst/endo/scar tissue removed.
Cycle #14 - Feb 2013 : 50mg clomid. Ovidrel Trigger. IUI on 2/14/13 = thin lining, multiple cysts.
Cycle #15 - no meds, still have cysts, no follicles. Boo!
Forced break. Continuous BCP for 6 weeks to give my jacked up ovaries a break.
Cycle #16 actively trying: May/June plan: Femara, Ovidrel Trigger, IUI! Bring iiiiit!

MY BLOG -- About DD, TTC and everything in between.

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12-04-2012 at 11:51 AM
nlscroggin...
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Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

 

i agree with this. good luck! 



me: 26 - DH: 29
ttc #1 since june 2012
-dx: PCOS & hypothyroidism-
-Dec '12-SA: normal & HSG: all clear-
-Jan '13- clomid 50mg = BFN-
-Feb '13- clomid 100mg = BFN-
-March '13- clomid 150mg = BFN- 
12-04-2012 at 11:59 AM
deelopi9
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After one year of TTC is when I really started to feel the disappointment of thinking something has to be wrong. It does take a healthy couple 1 year to get pregnant (i didn't know that either until I came on this board). In the first year is when you start increase your odds each month of getting pregnant - you can try seeing that way in that perspective. There are so many variables that come into play, family reproductive history, your and SO health, relationship stability, etc. Getting a hobby, starting a blog, yoga helps for some people.

Although some couples get very lucky and get that BFP within the first months, I will truly appreciate what a miracle that child will be. Whether it is through adoption, IVF, IUI or regular BFP. GL


*** TTC since 10/2010 (no planned bc since 2007) Me (31) Sept 2012 - DX Luteal Phase Defect. HSG 8/2012: both tubes are open, cervix and lining look good; hypothyroidism; DH (35) SA Normal Clomid 50mg, trigger
10/2012 BFFN 1st cycle on clomid 50mg w/trigger shot, progesterone level 19.7, cd28 - hcg level 0.
***12/2012 Cycle #25 TTA break until March 2013***
3T Jan2013 Siggy Challenge - Favorite Thing About Winter
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OB/GYN=expertise in pregnancy/labor; RE=expertise in getting pregnant. (read this on someone's post, feel free to PM me to give you credit) I'm so glad I have a RE on my team. Consult a RE after 1 year under 35yo; 6 months 35yo+  
12-04-2012 at 11:59 AM
krptcmschf...
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krptcmschfmkr128 is online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 8:05 AMSilver
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

Until you get your period, you don't know if it is. It could be ovulation pain, it could be implantation pain, it could be random.



Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
12-04-2012 at 12:00 PM
Slapalicio...
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Slapalicious is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 7:51 AMSilver
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

It may just be part of your 2WW.  PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are the same.  The 'pain' you're feeling could be anything. 

PMS is caused by an increase in Progesterone in your system.  Progesterone makes your body more hospitable for a fertilized egg to implant.  It peaks from about 7 - 9 DPO - which is around when implantation may occur.  If the egg was fertilized and implantation occurs, your body starts producing HCG, which continues the same symptoms that you had with progesterone... increased temperature, swollen boobs, bloating, etc.

12-04-2012 at 12:07 PM
KR250222
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KR250222 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 10:58 AMNewbie

jgolladay:
I feel your pain! I wish I had some great wisdom for you to deal with your disappointment! I, unfortunately could use that wisdom myself. My husband and I have been ttc since January and still have not had any luck. We really have buckled down lately and have been trying to do EVERYTHING to help in the possibility of conceiving to no avail. I too am due to start AF soon, Monday to be particular and yesterday got very sore breasts not uncommon for me as I have fibrocystic breasts and felt slight cramping whenever I sit still. I was really hoping this was the month after doing everything right. We can commiserate together hun. I hope you find a way to deal with your disappointment. And GOOD LUCK ttgp!!

 

Thank you for your kind words and good luck to you too! :) 


TTC since January 2012
Me: 30, All clear, DH: 32, Dx December 2012 low count and low motility
IVF with ICSI#1: Retrieval 4/18/13~ 20R 16F & 7 blasts
Transfer canceled due to OHSS and FET #1 in June Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 12:10 PM
KR250222
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KR250222 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 10:58 AMNewbie
Thank you so much! I have been telling myself that the BFP will be so much more exciting as more time goes on. 

TTC since January 2012
Me: 30, All clear, DH: 32, Dx December 2012 low count and low motility
IVF with ICSI#1: Retrieval 4/18/13~ 20R 16F & 7 blasts
Transfer canceled due to OHSS and FET #1 in June Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 12:12 PM
princessis...
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princessisadora is not online. Last active: 02-27-2013, 11:24 AMNewbie

All I can say is it happens to all of us. Every cycle I go through a whole array of emotions from hopeful, to frustrated to bitter to acceptance. You just have to buckle up and try again and again. I know its hard specially when everyone and their mothers seem to be pregnant, but this is my journey and what I have to experience and hopefully I will learn something from it. So far I think I am learning patience.

 

12-04-2012 at 12:19 PM
ChancieMar...
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ChancieMark is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 2:46 PMGold
princessisadora:

All I can say is it happens to all of us. Every cycle I go through a whole array of emotions from hopeful, to frustrated to bitter to acceptance. You just have to buckle up and try again and again. I know its hard specially when everyone and their mothers seem to be pregnant, but this is my journey and what I have to experience and hopefully I will learn something from it. So far I think I am learning patience.

 

Nicely said! 


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Amazeballs drawing of me by CLECyclist
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
BFP#2 1/8/2012 ~ EDD 9/20/2012 ~ M/C 2/7/2012 @ 7w5d
BFP#3 8/25/2012 ~ EDD 5/10/2013 ~ D&C 10/19/2012 @ 11w0d
Lots of love and motorboats to my TBBFF Jessuhmarie ~ JILLY IS HERE!!!!11
~ Cleared to TTC w/ a plan ~ TTA until whothefuckknows, probably 2014 or later ~
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12-04-2012 at 12:25 PM
rmcgibbon
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Slapptastic:
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

It may just be part of your 2WW.  PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are the same.  The 'pain' you're feeling could be anything. 

PMS is caused by an increase in Progesterone in your system.  Progesterone makes your body more hospitable for a fertilized egg to implant.  It peaks from about 7 - 9 DPO - which is around when implantation may occur.  If the egg was fertilized and implantation occurs, your body starts producing HCG, which continues the same symptoms that you had with progesterone... increased temperature, swollen boobs, bloating, etc.

Omg your siggy gif is flippin amazing!

OP, my suggestion is to definitely find a hobby to keep your mind busy. TTC is a tough journey and until you get that BFP, it will drive you crazy if you continually think negatively. Just try to keep in mind that it can take up to a year. When AF comes for me, I just tell myself it can take up to a year to get pregnant, and it helps.


TTC #1 since 10/14/12 // 1/2013: 7DPO blood work revealed low progesterone/luteal phase defect // 2/2013: DH's SA - Normal // BFP 2/25/13 - EDD 10/30/13
Pregnancy%20ticker
 BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers My blog! 
12-04-2012 at 12:27 PM
Twinkie061...
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If you really are only 6 DPO it is too early to count yourself out. 

I deal with disappointment by allowing myself one day to be sad and throw a pity party, then I force myself to move on.  Before I hit the year mark, I liked to focus on what I can do to "improve" our odds for the next cycle.  If you haven't started yet, I recommend temping and using OPKs.  I also tried things like green tea or just increasing water intake to increase my CM and tried pom juice to help implantation.  While I doubt that most of these things really helped us TTC, they did give me something to focus on other than being disappointed.

I've also tried to focus on hobbies and work to keep my mind off being disappointed.  I have started reading more and last summer crocheted a baby blanket for my new nephew.  DH and I have also been remodeling our house (which I am pretty sure will never be finished until we decide to sell it :) ).





TTC #1 since August 2011
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH: SA is good
Me: CD 3 blood work is good, HSG all clear, 7 DPO blood work shows low progesterone
October 2012: Clomid + IUI = BFN
December 2012: Consultation with RE#1. Not impressed with RE#1.
January 2013: Consultation with RE#2
January 2013: CF screening shows that I am a carrier of CF. Thankfully, DH's screening shows that he is not a carrier of CF. Sperm antibody tests are negative for both of us. According to our RE we are Unexplained IF
March 2013: Post coital tests show possible hostile CM. So, maybe not so unexplained?
April 2013: Unmedicated IUI after yet another bad bad PCT. = BFN
Cultures find a bacterial infection that could harm fertility, DH and I both start antibiotics.
May 2013: Clomid + Trigger + IUI 
12-04-2012 at 12:28 PM
KR250222
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Everyone's words help a lot. It's great to hear from people who have been in the same spot and "get it". 

TTC since January 2012
Me: 30, All clear, DH: 32, Dx December 2012 low count and low motility
IVF with ICSI#1: Retrieval 4/18/13~ 20R 16F & 7 blasts
Transfer canceled due to OHSS and FET #1 in June Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 12:44 PM
krptcmschf...
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krptcmschfmkr128 is online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 8:05 AMSilver

KR250222:
Everyone's words help a lot. It's great to hear from people who have been in the same spot and "get it". 

When we first started TTC, I didn't realize how it "worked". I used to have 35ish day cycles before I had my daughter. When I went off BC after her, the first 35 days came and went, no AF. I was SOOO positive I had gotten KU that first cycle. I was feeling sick, sore boobs, everything. Took a test. Nothing. Took another a week later, still negative. AF showed up on day 50 I think it was. The disappointment definitely sucks. GL. Hopefully this is your month, but if it isn't, stick around, continue to learn, and get to know the ladies on here. It makes it go so much faster. I've "skipped" cycle days because of this board (as in didn't realize I was on day 20, not day 18, etc), because reading about each others stories took the focus off mine during waiting to O and such.



Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
12-04-2012 at 2:35 PM
Nichole022...
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I feel the same as you do. It hasn't gotten easier for me. I started to crochet again that takes up some time but it just is so discouraging to look around and see all these pregnant people all around me. I am due to start my period Friday and this week prior is always hell for me. I get so angry and I know I shouldn't but I do. :/ so hugs to you friend I hope you find strength
 
12-04-2012 at 3:40 PM
Lue94
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Slapptastic:
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

It may just be part of your 2WW.  PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are the same.  The 'pain' you're feeling could be anything. 

PMS is caused by an increase in Progesterone in your system.  Progesterone makes your body more hospitable for a fertilized egg to implant.  It peaks from about 7 - 9 DPO - which is around when implantation may occur.  If the egg was fertilized and implantation occurs, your body starts producing HCG, which continues the same symptoms that you had with progesterone... increased temperature, swollen boobs, bloating, etc.

 I never understood how I could be feeling PMS symptoms and still possibly be KU. Thanks for that great explanation.


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12-04-2012 at 5:36 PM
darjeeling
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krptcmschfmkr128:
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

Until you get your period, you don't know if it is. It could be ovulation pain, it could be implantation pain, it could be random.

Yes, this x 1000.  My last BFP, I was 100% convinced I was getting my period.  I was wrong.

My main advice would be don't assume there is something wrong with you.  Sometimes it just doesn't happen right away.  GL!   

12-04-2012 at 6:27 PM
kali55
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darjeeling:
krptcmschfmkr128:
KR250222:

Slapptastic:
I don't know what you're looking for, but if you're truly 6DPO, then it's REALLY too early to even count yourself out of this cycle...

I guess I am just looking for people's experiences with dealing with disappointment. If it's too early then why would I feel pre-menstrual pain? 

Until you get your period, you don't know if it is. It could be ovulation pain, it could be implantation pain, it could be random.

Yes, this x 1000.  My last BFP, I was 100% convinced I was getting my period.  I was wrong.

My main advice would be don't assume there is something wrong with you.  Sometimes it just doesn't happen right away.  GL!   

well said!

I have a gratitude journal that keeps me remembering and thinking about all the positives in my life too and I find that helps me when I want to change my thinking around 


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