I am going to take a dump on DH's pillow and when he comes to bed he will, ideally, place his face in it.
he will then jump up and yell "Banker! Did you poop on my pillow again?!?"
I will then say, "the baby I have growing in my belluah made me do it"
I will then wipe the feces off his face and we will embrace. I am super stoked about my plan.