community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
12-04-2012 at 10:17 PM
AMarie10
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-19-2008
90 Points
AMarie10 is not online. Last active: 12-04-2012, 11:03 PMNewbie

Opinions please! :)

When I was pregnant with my daughter, who is now one year old, her father and I had discussed giving her both of our last names (we are now no longer together). Due to out of state work obligations he was not able to be there the day she was born so I was not allowed to put his name on the birth certificate. I was saddened by this and after being all emotional over him missing the birth, I only gave our daughter my last name. (Walker) 

He and I still want her to have both of our last names, he and I for different reasons, but I am just curious as to how this should all work. If we hyphenate her last name to Walker-Nolasco could she still continue to go by Walker like we've been doing? Or do I need to be prepared to teach her to use both last names on everything? 


 IAmPregnant Ticker 
12-04-2012 at 10:26 PM
magnoliabl...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-18-2010
14,865 Points
magnoliablossom00 is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 3:40 PMSilver

This might sound bitchy, but I'm truly not meaning for it to. Please do NOT make her have a hyphenated name just because you're trying to "share" the honor.

She is named. It is done. I would absolutely not change it now. Having a hyphenated last name will only create more legal hassle for her than good.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
12-04-2012 at 10:32 PM
JLGY
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-03-2010
11,292 Points
JLGY is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 12:16 AMBronze
If you legally change her name to the hyphenated version she's going to have to use it for everything. You can't just use half of your last name when you choose. If you want that option maybe consider adding her dad's last name as a second middle name (not hyphenated) so that your last name is still her last name.

Photobucket Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
12-04-2012 at 10:42 PM
AMarie10
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-19-2008
90 Points
AMarie10 is not online. Last active: 12-04-2012, 11:03 PMNewbie

I understand that legally she will have to use both. What I really meant to ask, is would be okay "acceptable" to just use my last name for basic day to day stuff, like when a child when a hyphenated last name starts school, is he or she required to write both last names on their schoolwork? Does my question make any sense? 

 

I had thought about giving his last name as her second middle name also, but it sounds funky lol then I thought about giving her my last name as her second middle and his for her last...Hmmm.  

He plays an active role in her life and I do want her to have "a part" of him...I figure that if Im going to add his name to her birth certificate now that he is back in California and can sigh a declaration of paternity, I might as well change her name too. 

 


 IAmPregnant Ticker 
12-04-2012 at 10:56 PM
doeie04
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-04-2010
18,519 Points
doeie04 is online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 1:18 PMBronze
AMarie10:

I understand that legally she will have to use both. What I really meant to ask, is would be okay "acceptable" to just use my last name for basic day to day stuff, like when a child when a hyphenated last name starts school, is he or she required to write both last names on their schoolwork? Does my question make any sense? 

 

I had thought about giving his last name as her second middle name also, but it sounds funky lol then I thought about giving her my last name as her second middle and his for her last...Hmmm.  

He plays an active role in her life and I do want her to have "a part" of him...I figure that if Im going to add his name to her birth certificate now that he is back in California and can sigh a declaration of paternity, I might as well change her name too. 

 

She can go by any name that she wants to for personal things. Legally she will have to use her hyphenated name. I don't see an issue with changing her name if that is what both of you want. I am not a fan of hyphenated names, but it is your choice.


Chad and Fawn
~~~IT'S A BOY~~~Due April 30th!  BabyFetus Ticker  BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary 
12-04-2012 at 10:58 PM
g8trkim
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-18-2007
Tampa, Florida
21,534 Points
g8trkim is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 8:26 AMGold
I have had a lot of students with hypenated last names. It's freaking annoying. They have to use it for everything important (standardized tests, computer program logins, etc.) which they hate. It causes issues with things because their are too many letters. Some of them use just one last name on day-to-day stuff like classwork which is certainly understandable. I say make dad's LN another MN or keep her name the way it is.

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
12-04-2012 at 11:14 PM
Washington...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-07-2011
101,150 Points
WashingtonQueen is online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 1:21 PMGold
If you two are no longer together then there is no issue. Her name should stay the way it is.

Adopted DS #1- Daniel Alan 12-8-05
Adopted DS #2- Sterling Michael 11-7-07
Xander Kobe born August 1, 2011 at 8:37am 8 pounds 4.4 ounces 20 1/2 inches
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Our second little August sunshine!! Due Date 8/24/13
 BabyFetus Ticker 
12-05-2012 at 1:49 AM
Lue94
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-21-2012
25,929 Points
Lue94 is not online. Last active: 05-13-2013, 11:27 PMBronze

WashingtonQueen:
If you two are no longer together then there is no issue. Her name should stay the way it is.

This!!! 


Image and video hosting by TinyPic
TTGP May Siggy Challenge
 
12-05-2012 at 1:53 AM
mamainsept...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-15-2010
11,846 Points
mamainseptember is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 6:17 AMBronze
WashingtonQueen:
If you two are no longer together then there is no issue. Her name should stay the way it is.

Agreed, keep it the way it is.

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
12-05-2012 at 7:20 AM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
39,618 Points
EastCoastBride is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 6:48 AMPlatinum

Don't give her a hyphenated last name. I have a friend who in high school decided to take her dads name and  hyphenated her own name. When she got married, I asked if she was going to keep her name or change it.  She couldn't wait to change it to get rid of the hyphen!  She HATED it.  It was a pain to spell.  These are literally experiences she had:

"My name is Smith hyphen Jones"

"How do you spell hyphen?".

Then she started saying "Smith dash Jones" and her name would end up spelled "smithdashjones".

Not kidding.

People are idiots and your DD will always have to spell/ correct her name. 


"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

12-05-2012 at 7:23 AM
hisboops81...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-25-2008
Rahway, NJ
3,457 Points
hisboops813 is not online. Last active: 03-29-2013, 7:22 AMNewbie
Doing a legal name change isn't the easiest thing to do. As much as it would be nice to add her father's name to hers at this point I'd leave it and down the road if its important to her she can change it to what she wants.

Jenn  IAmPregnant Ticker  BabyFruit Ticker 
12-05-2012 at 7:26 AM
JNCPro3130
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-18-2008
Lawrenceville, GA
4,086 Points
JNCPro3130 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 6:30 AMNewbie
I'm a teacher and I have a student with a hyphenated name.  She uses both on her papers and for everything printed for her.  We are legally required to make children use whatever the legal name is.

Anniversary 
12-05-2012 at 8:01 AM
dee12807
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-30-2010
20,772 Points
dee12807 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 8:55 PMSilver
If you want to add his name, add it as a middle name. Please. Soper long hyphenated last names are not just hard for childhood, but what if she wanted to do it when she marries? She would have 3 last names!

 photo 928560AF-AAA0-4036-A0DB-1781F180055B-8057-000009B95DF7BAAA_zps4aeff975.jpg Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
12-05-2012 at 8:06 AM
SuperDeDup...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-27-2011
75,858 Points
SuperDeDuper is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 10:04 PMGold

IMO I wouldn't change her name.  Hyphenated names are a PITA and changing a name legally is a PITA too.  She isn't any less his daughter because she has your LN.  And did he play a part in naming her?  (Her FN and MN?)  If so then he is already intimately involved in her name and you place emphasis on that.

If he is involved with her and is an active father then that's the best thing for her and will make a world of difference in her life.  Having his LN added is insignificant in comparison and not worth the trouble.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

 
12-05-2012 at 8:32 AM
plunderb
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-22-2010
Boston
36,142 Points
plunderb is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 4:41 PMSilver

I'm actually contemplating changing my DD's name as well (adding my maiden name as a second middle).

It's true that hyphenated names can be a pain, but if it feels like the right way to honor your family, I say do it. When I got married, I decided to go with a hyphenated middle name rather than a hyphenated last name, but I sort of regret the decision and have been thinking about changing it back or going by the hyphenated name informally. For me, the importance of including my family name (and ethnicity) in my own name is worth the hassle.

12-05-2012 at 9:08 AM
blush64
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-14-2009
23,399 Points
blush64 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 12:44 PMSilver

People make such a huge deal out of hyphenated names. They are not hard to deal with and I can't imagine someone in real life not understanding what a hyphen is and actually spelling it out. That would be out of the ordinary. My oldest is almost 17 and my youngest is 14 and I have not run into this issue yet. No one at school or anywhere else has been confused or had an issue. (and to make things even more "confusing" I don't have a hyphenated name, so our names don't match)

My sons have hyphenated names and my futures kids will too. (I am pregnant right now) I have not run into any issues at all. No one has had difficulty with there being too many letters. There are many people with incredibly long names and they aren't hyphenated. 

Use the name you want to use. If you want to hyphenate it, go ahead. If I wasn't with the father I wouldn't hyphenate but that's me.  

I find that people make this out to be much worse and harder than it is in real life. And if a teacher is annoyed that my child has a longer name than they would like, perhaps they need a new profession or a long vacation. A long name is not a big deal. 

 
12-05-2012 at 9:35 AM
pas1224
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-03-2012
35,572 Points
pas1224 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 3:49 PMBronze

I would keep it the way it is. 

ETA:  If you do change it, I think she needs to use it on everything, schoolwork included.  It would be her last name, so I don't see why you wouldn't.  If you just want her to use Walker on her schoolwork because it's easier, then I would leave her name as Walker.  It's kind of like your last name being McDonald, but only using Mc as your last name.  Ok, it's a little different, but still :)



Anna Catherine 7/23/2012, 35 weeks 5 days, 5lbs 5 oz
IT'S A BOY!!!
 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-05-2012 at 7:00 PM
beachcombe...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-20-2008
Seattle/Los Angeles
4,934 Points
beachcomberbride is not online. Last active: 03-01-2013, 12:23 AMNewbie
blush64:

People make such a huge deal out of hyphenated names. They are not hard to deal with and I can't imagine someone in real life not understanding what a hyphen is and actually spelling it out. That would be out of the ordinary. My oldest is almost 17 and my youngest is 14 and I have not run into this issue yet. No one at school or anywhere else has been confused or had an issue. (and to make things even more "confusing" I don't have a hyphenated name, so our names don't match)

My sons have hyphenated names and my futures kids will too. (I am pregnant right now) I have not run into any issues at all. No one has had difficulty with there being too many letters. There are many people with incredibly long names and they aren't hyphenated. 

Use the name you want to use. If you want to hyphenate it, go ahead. If I wasn't with the father I wouldn't hyphenate but that's me.  

I find that people make this out to be much worse and harder than it is in real life. And if a teacher is annoyed that my child has a longer name than they would like, perhaps they need a new profession or a long vacation. A long name is not a big deal. 

 

This.

 Do whatever you want - fluck what other people think. :)  


Feb siggy challenge: Kissing Animals  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Premature Ovarian Failure
 
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board