Deciding whether to try a VBAC is a difficult decision, so I can see how you feel like your best-laid plans are now up in the air. I had a cs with my first, but really wanted to try for a VBAC because I was so scared of the thought of trying to take care of a newborn and a toddler while recovering from a cs. I felt a lot of pressure from my husband and our families to have a repeat c-section because it was easier for THEM to plan. I was frustrated, because I felt like no one was thinking about what it would be like for ME after the birth. But when a friend of mine went into labor a few days before her planned cs and rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, I was reminded that even planned c-sections aren't always easier or go as planned. So if you want a VBAC and think it's the best for you, I would look into your options. I wish I'd had a doula, so I second others' suggestions of looking into one, even if it's a student. If you don't want your ex at the hospital, can he be relied upon to take your daughter in the middle of the night? Can he take her full-time for some length of time afterward so you can recover? (Especially if you end up with a repeat cs.) You still have time to think about this. Even though I wanted a VBAC, I scheduled a cs for two weeks after my due date so that if I didn't go into labor before then, I already had something on the calendar with the date/time/doctor I wanted. My doctor was super supportive of me changing my mind. I could have scrapped the VBAC plans at any time if I had wanted.
I know this is a difficult time for you on top of preparing to have another child, so hang in there and know that there's a community here supporting you.