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12-06-2012 at 8:50 AM
amberhoon
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Coping with weight gain - a little long

Hi everyone - I don't post often, I tend to just read through topics usually. But at 35w 1d pregnant, I'm really struggling with this and am wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing. I've been lucky and have had a fairly easy pregnancy with the only issues being some back pain, being very sleepy, and having to retake the 3 hour glucose test twice! The part that's been the hardest for me is dealing with the weight gain! I think we are all obviously aware we are going to gain weight pregnant and I've only gained 25 lbs, so I know in the pregnancy standards I'm doing fine! My doctors/nurses, however, make sure to tell me each week if I'm gaining too fast and to watch my weight (I had gained nothing until almost 5 months, so I gained the rest the past 3.5 months). I feel like I get on the scale and worry about what I eat more now than I did before I was pregnant! Also, having some self confidence issues, I look at the non-pregnant women around me and feel so jealous! My husband is not the most "emotional" guy and doesn't quite understand why I feel so bad, but at the same time our daily sex has changed to once a week if I'm lucky. Sorry for the long post, but I'm curious if others are feeling like this and what you guys are doing to help you feel like a beautiful/sexy pregnant woman?! Thanks!  IAmPregnant Ticker

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12-06-2012 at 9:00 AM
CherylAnn7...
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I can totally relate.  I don't like that your docs and nurses are giving you a hard time.  I have gained 32 pounds and my midwives say I am fine.  Every body is different and sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you're going to gain what you're going to gain.  I try to tell myself this but last night I was really down about it.  And before Thanksgiving I had to take my rings off beause my hands were swollen, but it didn't help.

At this point, with five weeks left (we must be due around the same time!) I figure all I can really do is wait until I am able to work out and hit the gym. I have heard stories about women losing even more than the baby weight, especially through breastfeeding, so I try to focus on the fact that I will lose it. But I know, some days are tougher than others.  At least you know you're not alone!


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12-06-2012 at 9:02 AM
bearkatjen
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I don't care about feeling sexy or beautiful right now, especially sexy. I just want to feel like a normal human again. My goals are basic hygiene and some makeup to hide my pregnancy uglies.

I do care about weight gain, and I was pretty scared today to get on the scale this morning because I've been feeling so much bigger since I weighed myself over a week ago. Much to my surprise it was the same number as last week, but yeah, I get anxious over each pound. My OB's office never discusses my weight, I'm always the one to bring it up. I'm sure they know its an anxious subject for me, and since my weight gain is in an acceptable range, there's no reason to bring it up. I'm not sure why your OB's office is hounding you about your weight when you are doing well. Maye you should ask them about that.


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12-06-2012 at 9:02 AM
Bethbsn06
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I have worked in a variety of high stress environments... Nursing, emt, law enforcement. My coping mechanism is humor. So I poke fun at myself. I gained 60lbs with dd1 and I'm up 52 so far this pregnancy. I know it's temporary. My shirt today says "Santa ain't got nothing on this belly".

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12-06-2012 at 9:14 AM
amberhoon
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CherylAnn789:

At this point, with five weeks left (we must be due around the same time!) I figure all I can really do is wait until I am able to work out and hit the gym. I have heard stories about women losing even more than the baby weight, especially through breastfeeding, so I try to focus on the fact that I will lose it. But I know, some days are tougher than others.  At least you know you're not alone!

 We must be! I'm due January 9th. And that's what I'm doing, just thinking about when I can finally get back to the gym and feel a little more like myself again. I know another pp said that they just want to feel human, which I relate to as well, but it's hard to go from a very strong physical relationship with my husband to feeling like he doesn't look at me the same! I guess it's half hormones and half the weight at this point. Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone!


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12-06-2012 at 9:17 AM
CocoR04
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I can also relate.  I was at my highest weight - ever - when I got pregnant and my weight gain has been pretty high.  I don't know how high because I'm not looking at the scale when they weigh me, but I know from the rate that I've had to buy larger sized maternity pants.

I feel like a stranger in this new, pudgy body, so I'm trying to keep what little shred of confidence I still have left.  I use makeup to help make my puffy face a little more attractive, but at this point, I'm just focusing on my "comeback" after baby.

I'm also setting small goals for myself - such as signing up for Weight Watchers (nursing moms program) by the time I go back to work at 12 weeks.  I also want to start walking with baby as soon as I physically can and move onto my old activities of tennis, zumba, and yoga within a few months.  Breastfeeding itself should be very helpful, too.  

I also like to look at the new moms that I know for inspiration.  All of them look amazing, some sooner and some even a year after baby.  If they can do it, I can do it.

Stay positive and focus on life after baby :)


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12-06-2012 at 10:22 AM
lakreuz
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Bethbsn06:
I have worked in a variety of high stress environments... Nursing, emt, law enforcement. My coping mechanism is humor. So I poke fun at myself. I gained 60lbs with dd1 and I'm up 52 so far this pregnancy. I know it's temporary. My shirt today says "Santa ain't got nothing on this belly".

I love this!! Gotta keep your sense of humor.. pregnancy is temporary!

 
12-06-2012 at 11:33 AM
tiff012982
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I'm not as far along as you, but I have always been curvy and weight conscious and with DD I only gained 24 lbs.  I was so proud of myself and the weight did come off pretty naturally within 4 months and that was with 2 weddings and not working out most of that time due to cs.  This time around, I started out at the same weight as my first but gained very slowly.  I thought wow this is great.  Well starting at 22 weeks I started gaining nearly 2 lbs a week and it hasn't stopped!!  I am now up 17 lbs and am really scared that it will stay 2lbs/week until the end.  Being pregnant during the holidays is starting to be a downside for me :(  I do feel much better though when still teaching my spin and kb classes 3X/week.  It really does help to keep active.  You're not alone

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12-06-2012 at 11:40 AM
Ndv523
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I can completely relate as well.  I am a STM so I'm handling the weight gain a little better this time around because I know what to expect.  I"m used to being a thin person and never really dealt with weight issues.  With my first,  I gained 30 lbs.  Right around the 7 month mark my husband and my sex life went down to one day a week and I could just tell he didn't find me nearly as attractive.  I understood because I felt big and definitely didn't look like myself but it was still hard dealing with it.  After my son was born, I lost 20 lbs. within the first six weeks, I think mainly due to breastfeeding.  The last 10 was harder for me to take off but I ended up losing it months later after diet and exercise and ended up losing an additional 5 lbs. 

This time around I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have gained 25 lbs. so I 'll probably be gaining a little more than last time.   Sex life slowed way back down again.  I do know though since I went through this before, that my husband will find me attractive again and our sex life with improve dramatically again. :)  Hang in there, this is temporary and in the end it will be completely worth it!


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12-06-2012 at 2:33 PM
BLPL101
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I've gained about 30 lbs and I started at 100 lbs. That's a lot of weight for me!

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12-06-2012 at 3:19 PM
FutureMrsT...
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ok, I can't help much with the weight gain(I'e managed to lose weight actually), but the whole sex once a week thing you are so lucky! any time I feel like I'm in any kind of mood I end up being in too much pain, or something goes wrong and I get scared it'll hurt... so, once a week is awesome!

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"Why do I do it?.... because nights alone aren't permanent, missing him reminds me that I'm lucky enough to have someone to miss, and because I'm not afraid to make sacrifices for true love"

 
12-06-2012 at 5:28 PM
amberhoon
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Ndv523:

Right around the 7 month mark my husband and my sex life went down to one day a week and I could just tell he didn't find me nearly as attractive.  I understood because I felt big and definitely didn't look like myself but it was still hard dealing with itP>

This is exactly how I feel! It's just hard to deal with knowing they don't find you as attractive, but it's hard to blame them! It's a difficult thing to cope with, especially when the sex life reflects how you already feel! Good to know things went back to normal after the baby came! I started feeling a little selfish after posting this because I know it should be all about the baby and I am SO excited for him! But I don't think I'm completely wrong for still wanting to feel like a hot mama! :) This is my first so I'm hoping next time I'll handle it better!

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12-06-2012 at 10:36 PM
sararn2004
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how do you all know the decreased activity is because they don't find you as attractive. I feel huge, but hubby seems just as attracted to me. We usually don't end up doing "everything" b/c I don't feel well most of the time. Plus, if my partner felt huge, tired and felt icky, I'd definitely not ask for it as much either, just as a courtesy.

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12-07-2012 at 9:59 AM
Chappy_jr
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I agree with the last poster that we shouldn't assume that our partners don't find us attractive.  I wish our sex was down to once a week - it has been a few months and I keep asking for it but DH is too scared of hurting me or the baby.  He still finds me attractive and talks about how beautiful I am but no action in the bedroom.  I have to believe him that is is fear or it would affect my self-image. 

As for weight gain, I'm up a total of 22 lbs at 34 weeks and I'm happy with that but I didn't have weight or self-image issues before pregnancy.  I know I'll gain a bit more but I also know that it is being put on for a good reason and from healthy foods (and because my hormones are encouraging my body to "save up") and that it will come off ... eventually.  



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12-07-2012 at 3:17 PM
ashcody2
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You're right, we all know going in we will gain weight but that doesn't mean we have to like the #'s on the scale! I HATE seeing how much I weigh @ each appt. but my Dr. hasn't said a word to me about gaining too much and I am 35w5d & up about 30 lbs. I initially didn't want to gain more than 20 but apparently my body had other plans. We used to have sex almost daily pre-pregnancy & are now down to once a week...it's kind of depressing but I don't feel sexy either. Some days I do feel better about myself than others, I've continued to wear make-up & dress 'cute' (I have to wear professional attire to work anyway) on a daily basis, I've had people tell me that I've really taken care of myself so that's a nice confidence booster. The only things I can suggest is maybe do something for you, like get a pregnancy massage or mani/pedi...anything that's for only you to make you feel pampered! I'm not the best at giving advice, but we're almost done--only 5 weeks to go if we're lucky! In the end, it will all totally be worth it :)

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