There is no such thing as being too young to go to counseling... that's a weird argument.
I would try to sit down with him when you are both calm and present your worries... ie that he is valuing his friendships more than your relationship, and that while you do not expect him to give up his friendships, he might have to make a few sacrifices now that you are trying to build a family together.
I also find that my husband does not help out with things unless I am very specific about what I need him to help out with.
I don't quite understand how it is that men just don't notice what needs to be done, but they don't. It sometimes doesn't feel fair that I have to completely manage the family and household, but directing him on what he needs to do is easier than doing it all myself.
I agree that you both need to sit down and talk when you're both calm. Let him know that you understand his side of things. With a new baby he might be feeling like he's losing his youth, his friends, his identity, so the constant friends thing may be him trying to get that all back.
You only get what you give... if you're dishing out harsh words and accusations, you're going to get negativity returned to you. Think about what it is that his friends are giving him that he's missing....(and I'm not trying to point fingers here), but they are probably pumped when he gets there. Do you make it clear that you're excited to see him? Do you remind him you love him? With all the focus on a new baby, he might not feel wanted by you anymore.
And I agree that too young for counseling is not any sort of reason not to go. Maybe he's too scared to admit that the relationship has gotten to the point of therapy...