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12-07-2012 at 8:41 AM
AshleeR20
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Being plus sized and pregnant

I'm 20 years old, and i'm a plus size(5'3 size 22-24 pants) I am also 16w3d pregnant with my first child. She was an oops but that doesn't change how I feel about her, I have a hard time buying clothes, since my body looks the same, my weight is getting lower but my uterus is getting bigger so I look like I always do. Well I have a full time job and am trying to save money to buy a better place with my fiance (whom also is a big guy, 6'3, 260lbs) and well he makes me feel like a million bucks, like just because i'm a big girl doesn't mean i'm not a beautiful pregnant woman. Anyway, I don't buy much clothes, I can wear what I have but not all the time do they make me look pregnant. Well yesterday I was with the godmother/my best friend and we were at the store and one of her co-workers came up to her and started talking to her, she told them I was having a girl (I found out yesterday) and her co worker's husband who was a very big guy started rubbing his belly saying "I'm having a boy" I laughed a bit and then kinda let my mind wonder seeing as it was a akward conversation. Then he says "Oh, you were serious... you're pregnant?"  I have never felt more sick to my stomach in my life, it hurt my feelsing bad, alot of people keep telling me because i'm big i'll have all these problems and no one will know i'm pregnant just think i'm fat, and It's not fair. Why can't I enjoy my pregnancy like everyone else?

Sorry I have a bit of depression, just wish I knew I was going to get pregnant so I could have prepared myself... like lose a ton of weight..


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12-07-2012 at 8:49 AM
StarBe
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sorry he said that.. really not cool. Keep in mind 16 weeks is still really early to show, I did not start showing till about 21 weeks. Honestly, it seems like size does not matter and that every body/pregnancy is different - you still have time to really pop!

Try not to let a$$hole comments get to you, I know easier said then done. Focus on the positive like your wonderful fiance and as long as you keep eating healthy for you and baby you will feel 100%!


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12-07-2012 at 8:56 AM
AshleeR20
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Thank you, that really means a lot to me :)

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12-07-2012 at 8:58 AM
highlights
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He's a jerk. Ignore him.

 But pp was right- 16 weeks is early to show. I'm 19 weeks and really not "showing" yet, so don't feel bad- actually, my husband is still probably showing more than me!


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12-07-2012 at 9:03 AM
lovingmygi...
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I'm a plus size girl whose majority of the weight concentrates on my midsection...don't let anyone's stupid, ignorant comments make you feel bad.  I've learned people will put their foot in their mouths and it's how you let them make you feel that truly counts.

I didn't start showing with my DD until later on too, so keep in mind you might now show yet for a bit.

Enjoy it and don't let anyone spoil what should be a beautiful time in your life!


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12-07-2012 at 9:08 AM
LCP2006
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I'm plus sized (5'9 size 18/20) and 25 weeks with my first.  I'm still not showing, I keep waiting for my belly to pop!!

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12-07-2012 at 9:11 AM
ConnieRob
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I'm a big girl to and (with DS at least) I carried transverse so I just looked bigger. I never got a true bump until the very end. Luckily, that meant fewer stretch marks for me Stick out tongue.

I'm really sorry he said that to you. Some people just don't think.


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12-07-2012 at 9:18 AM
HZ2012
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Don't let those things get to you. You are embarking on one of the most beautiful times of your life - ENJOY IT! No matter what size you are, you have created a little life inside you, don't let anyone take that away from you. I am almost 17 weeks and am not showing either. I am about 15 lbs overweight and can't button my pants - I wear leggings literally everyday. 

Smile - you are blessed with this gift, and what sounds like a wonderful guy to share it with.  

 
12-07-2012 at 9:18 AM
KatieKim08...
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People are so insensitive!

I am PS and pregnant too. I am about 5'9 and 330 lbs! I carry it well but am totally self conscious. I weight that much because I gained 70 lbs with my first son and didn't lose it!!!

With this guy I gained 33 lbs which for me is a big deal and I am proud of it!! I have had no GD or pre-e or any risks associated with my weight. You can be healthy!!! :) People impose that stigma on you but don't put it on yourself!

 


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12-07-2012 at 9:27 AM
LadyDelila...
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you should be on my birth month board. Stick with me kid (adult baseball morgan freeman voice) Im about your size and have done this a few times.

Ahem this is me with DD 36 weeks YOU WILL LOOK PREGNANT... promise :)

 


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12-07-2012 at 9:39 AM
lisa5201
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I carry my weight around my mid-section, and it can be depressing to just look fatter, not pregnant, haha, I think there's lots of women who understand that, even if they are of ideal weight. It's like anything, we see gorgeous women in magazines and on TV with the pregnancy "glow" but that's not the reality for most of us. My face is red, I'm sweaty, and I have acne. That's my pregnancy "glow".It sucks and feels unfair that other women get to have these amazing pregnancies with these cute little bumps, but trust me, that's just your perception, every woman I have ever spoken to has body insecurities while pregnant.

Most guys are just kind of a$sholes anyways, he probably felt pretty stupid for making that dumb joke. It doesn't sound like he meant to hurt your feelings. Although, I was once told by a 6 year old that I had a fat belly (and I was not pregnant at the time) and I cried about it, so I def. hear your pain! 


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12-07-2012 at 9:52 AM
mommacakes...
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I am a plus size also. Always have been pretty much. This is my 3rd pregnancy and i am almsot 16 weeks. I ahev had to get maternity pants only because I cant zip and button my pants anymore because my uterus is hard from teh growing baby so I cant squeeze in them anymore. I didnt "show" for a LONG time, even with my 2nd. I dont really know that I was obviously pregnant until well into 3rd trimester. I hate when I tell people Im pregnant adn they are like oh really?!?! Just because Im fat and not a toothpick and show a nice round bump like other pregnant girls doesnt mean people can say rude things.

I wish some people would learn to just keep their mouths shut. I like you am very concerned about how I look, I dont care wht other people think for hte most part. But little rude comments make me upset. Thank god I have a good husband who reminds me how pretty he thinks I am and that I am beautiful no matter what. Its hard but try to let those rude people and their comments not bother you. I still let them get to me though and this is baby #3 for me!! Sometimes I just want to tell people to STFU!!


 
12-07-2012 at 9:56 AM
pamperedgi...
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dont let him get you down. you are creating a life inside you...concentrate on your wonderful fiance and enjoy your pregnancy. it is a once in a lifetime thing.

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12-07-2012 at 9:59 AM
mcooper014
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Congrats on your pregnancy!  I'm sorry that those comments were made to and whoever would say something like that to a woman has no class or manners.  Your husband loves you for who you are and so will your little one when he/she gets here. 


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12-07-2012 at 10:09 AM
rpalen29
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i am also pregnant and PS (5'6 size 14/16) I am also 16 weeks, and nothing yet, except a pouch right above the baby (which is fat). My pants are starting to not fit right, and i'm hoping I start showing soon too. If your concerned about gaining weight (my worst fear because I just lost 40lbs last year for my wedding) I would try to eat more healthy, and maybe start a small exercise regiment. Cut the soda and sugar, and i highly recommend lean cuisine for tv dinners, they are the most healthy ones you can buy. I started up prenatal yoga; its not necessarily a "workout", but it helps with stretching, balancing and strength. 

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12-07-2012 at 10:35 AM
jaymiegera...
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So sorry.  What a jerk!

I have a very good friend who is plus sized and she went through the same thing - at 16 she didn't look pregnant and was feeling really down about it... but at 24 weeks, she did look pregnant, and then the "oh when are you due?" questions started coming up...  I didn't look pregnant until 20 weeks with my first and I felt the same thing, even though I'm not plus-sized.  I just think that the being pregnant and people not knowing part of pregnancy sucks!

Take good care of yourself now.  Be gentle and understanding with yourself.  Try and comfort yourself the way you would if your child was going through the same thing.  The shoulda-coulda-woulda's won't do anything but make you feel bad.  And don't worry, you are 20 and you have the rest of your life to get as fit as you want. :-) The friend that I mentioned above just lost 120 lbs!


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12-07-2012 at 10:44 AM
jyoung630
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I am plus sized myself and I can empathize with exactly what you are going through.  I started to show really well in the last two weeks.  I had one of my neighbors - a man of course - ask me if I was having twins or triplets b/c of my size.   I have even had one woman ask if I was actually pregnant b/c it took so long for me to show - due to being a larger woman.  Some folks just have no manners.  You are still early enough not to show.  Yes, you can enjoy your pregnancy - just like everyone else.   Take advantage of the fact you have a man who loves you curves and all and enjoy knowing that the two of you have created a miracle.  That is something noone can take away from you. 

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12-07-2012 at 10:53 AM
sweetbabyp...
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Am I the only one that thinks a plus size and pregnant board would be a good thing? Sometimes I feel so left out of other boards because I don't feel like I'm progressing the way that some of the other fit mommas to be are.

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12-07-2012 at 11:04 AM
1and1is3
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Its nice to hear from other plus sized and pregnant ladies! I'm only 5'1" and weight 190 so yep I am plus sized as well :) I think plus sized woman face a lot more scrutiny during pregnancy than thinner people.

Don't let what that guy said get to you. Easier said than done, I know. Just remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 


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12-07-2012 at 11:06 AM
doodiebug1...
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Hello, lurking from TTGP board and I just wanted to say my sister and I are right about the same size and height as you.  My sister just had a baby a year ago and you could definitely tell she was pregnant.  I am sorry that people are so ignorant!  I have found that Old Navy online and burlington have great prices along with plus size maternity clothes!

Congrats on your LO!


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12-07-2012 at 11:07 AM
amberdanie...
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I'm 5'8 and started this pregnancy which is also my 1st at 326lbs and a size 24, I lost 15lbs in the 1st tri from nausea and now that I can eat again I'm more careful of my foods so I don't gain too much being that I'm already a larger woman and I'm at 326lbs now at 25weeks.  Most of my weight is carried in my midsection and I also have a long torso so I don't look pregnant either bc baby has more area to grow in, just like I've gained weight.  But I've also learned that i don't have to justify myself or my size to anyone. 

It sounds like you have a great fiance who makes you feel beautiful, it takes time but your confidence will come. At your heigth theres a good chance baby will "pop out" alot sooner. Keep your chin up, rough spots will happen but it does get better and is worth it in the end. 


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12-07-2012 at 11:09 AM
amberdanie...
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sweetbabypea:
Am I the only one that thinks a plus size and pregnant board would be a good thing? Sometimes I feel so left out of other boards because I don't feel like I'm progressing the way that some of the other fit mommas to be are.

I would be all for it


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12-07-2012 at 11:12 AM
sweetbabyp...
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How do we go about starting one? I know TK had plus size brides board.

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12-07-2012 at 12:18 PM
March2013F...
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My story is unique. I once weighed 240 lbs at 5'2". I lost 80 lbs and met my BF. after dating 9 months, I had gained about 25 lbs back I went back to eating poor the way he was. Whoops! Then got pregnant and with depression, I gained back the rest of my weight. My doctor had now put me on a calorie restricted diet... Which I can't seem to stick too.

I am FAT, I am PREGNANT, and I am BEAUTIFUL!

Now I can't wait until pregnancy is over and I can lose the weight again, only do I can lead by example for my daughter. But that doesn't mean I'm unhealthy or am not fit to be a mother.

My inlaws tell my BF how fat I am. It's terrible and I really struggle with it.

You are not alone. Do not be ashamed. I'm almost 26 weeks and I am looking pregnant. I started wearing maternity clothes a while ago because it felt better on my tummy/bladder.

Plus sized or average sized shouldn't matter so long as the baby is healthy. We do have to be a little more careful with preeclampsia. But that can hit anyone.

So glad to not be alone!

 
12-07-2012 at 2:00 PM
amh6155
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Try not to let those people bother you too much.  (easier said than done)  Someone made a comment like to me one day and I turned to them "at least I have a reason to be this big.  What's your excuse?"  Kind of harsh and two wrongs don't make a right, but I felt a little better after that.  This is why community boards are so great!  We can all lean on each other, vent, and uplift one another.  I really appreciate being able to share these things with other women and mamas/moms-to-be.  I will be a FT mom, and quite frankly, scared pissless at times.

My sister and I are both plus size.  My sister has always been a plus size and twice the size of all the other kids her age.  She had my nephew back in June and didn't really show much until the 3rd trimester.  I did not start showing until around week 18.  I felt like I just looked fat and super bloated all the time.  I tried to dive into my reading or work.  I also started a pregnancy journal for my daughter to read when she gets older.  That seemed to help keep my mind off things pretty well.  Remembering that every 'body' is different, therefore, everyone shows differently.  My doctor has also been super supportive.  She never said anything about being fat or having to lose weight.  She is super laid back and chill.  Told me "eat whatever you want.  Your body/taste buds only need a sampling to get their fix. And it is ok to stay the same weight and actually lose weight, just don't cheat yourself or your baby."

Hold on to that man of yours.  He is a keeper. 

Some people just blow up pregnant one day.  16 weeks is still early for many people to show.


 
12-07-2012 at 2:18 PM
daisy19782...
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I am a bigger girl as well and I naturally hold weight in my middle, so even though I can tell I am "rounder", everyone else thinks I am the same or just fatter, so I totally understand. My grandmother told me she knew I was pregnant when I announced b/c she could tell...uhhhh, no, that was my own fat.  I hadn't even gained any weight at 12 wks.

You be proud of who you are and you and your fiance are happy and that is all that matters. People can be so rude!



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12-07-2012 at 2:50 PM
katiec123
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I'm PS- 6ft and size 18...i've gained 21 lbs and this is my 1st Preg. I JUST NOW look preggo at 24 weeks...but trust me, you might start getting a little rounder for a while and people will just think you're gaining weight but one week, you'll just pop out and there will be no doubt that you are Pregnant! ..... don't worry about rude people- this  pregnancy is about you, your H and your baby__just enjoy :)
 
12-07-2012 at 2:55 PM
watermelon...
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No matter what any assshole says to you, it doesn't matter.  Nothing about your size will change how you love your daughter, how amazing being her mother will be, or how much she will love you.  Please don't let him ruin this wonderful time in your life. ((Hugs))


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12-07-2012 at 4:41 PM
jvdavisbab...
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Lurking from 3rd tri :) I was exactly where you are when I was that far along (pants and height) That guy was a douche and should have gotten a junk punch! Funny you mention wanting to lose a bunch of wieght .... I was in the process of losing a bunch of wieght thanks to HCG, I got to 245 and got stuck ... thats when i found out I was prego. Don't know if it was the HCG that did it or the fact that I was losing weight in the first place lol But anyways!!!!

Try not to dwell on the wieght or weight gain :) focus on your soon coming beautiful baby girl! I struggled with self image a ton in the beginning now Im like "im 38 weeks pregant who cares what I look like :) my husband loves me and still thinks Im beautiful and Im growing a baby" the rest of the world can bite me!

And trust me when people start asking when are you due.. it is the greatest feeling! Well for me anyways! Good luck! And if you need a fellow big momma to talk at I'm here!!

 


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12-07-2012 at 5:22 PM
heather4ha...
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You will look pregnant eventually, it will just take longer. I'm 5'6" and 16/18 and just got my first stranger comment yesterday at 22 weeks. Look for plus size maternity clothes as they seem to help accentuate the bump and makes me look more pregnant anyways.

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