DS is a really picky eater. He won't let us spoon feed him and he will only feed himself if he is hungry and if it is something he likes. He still has like 20 oz breast milk a day at almost 11 months. We also give him 3 solid meals a day and sometimes a snack.
We have had good luck with these finger foods, so you might try these:
Cheese (mild cheddar or string cheese, cut up into tiny little cubes)
peaches (we've bought the little cups so they are already cut up - no sugar)
cantalope - cut up into tiny cubes.
Grapes cut up (cut in half lengthwise, then across three times so the pieces are really small)
Gerber/Ella's pouches - he will sometimes feed the little pouches to himself
graham crackers (just hand her a square and let her go to town on it)
Cooked frozen peas, carrots and green beans (he LOVES these, can also do canned just keep it low/no sodium)
Here is a chart of the calories/fats in common foods to help pick good ones:
You could also try one of those self feeder pouches. DS also does better if he is holding his own spoon. He won't let me spoon feed him but he will let me hand feed him sometimes.
Good luck, it seems like your heart is in the right place.