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12-07-2012 at 7:24 PM
aprillm730
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Innapropriate TTGP Comments

I've never had any remarks that were too bad just the normal "oh we can't wait for you to have a baby!" But, this week two people made comments that caught me off guard.

"Enjoy the quiet time while you can, one day you'll be wishing you were still trying"
Ummm... doubt it.

"When are you going to have a baby?"
I feel like if someone just HAS to say something, the more appropriate question would be "When are you going to start trying?". It sucked.  I felt my cold stare laser beaming holes into their skin.

What have people said about TTGP that has annoyed the shiit out of you?
 
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12-07-2012 at 7:29 PM
daynakako
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A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

BFP #1- 10/21/2011, EDD- 07/02/2012, m/c- 10/27/2011 @ 4w3d
BFP #2- 12/23/2011, EDD- 09/04/2012, m/c- 01/02/2012@5w
BFP #3- 8/29/2012, EDD-05/12/2012
BETA #1-16 (8/30/12) BETA #2-486 (9/6/12)
9/27- First u/s, baby measuring 2 weeks behind with a heart rate half of what it should be. u/s # 2- 10/8/12- No heartbeat, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Heartbroken.
BFP #4- 12/30/2012, EDD- 09/11/2013
BETA #1-21 (12/31/12) BETA #2- 105 (1/03/13) BETA #3- 1,389 (1/08/13)
1st ultrasound-baby measuring 5w4d, heartbeat 107!
2nd ultrasound- baby measuring right on track, heartbeat 180!
 
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12-07-2012 at 7:31 PM
katehutsen
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DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!
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12-07-2012 at 7:34 PM
aprillm730
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daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

 

Agreed, men can be idiots. Enjoy the wine.

 
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12-07-2012 at 7:34 PM
kgoldsmith...
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daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

This sucks I am so sorry!
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12-07-2012 at 7:36 PM
lobosabby
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daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

I said an extra prayer for you tonight at church. I know God is going to bless you soon.

lots of <3 to my TBBFF Sothernpeach80 - BABY ETHAN IS HERE! 02.04.13 <3
TTC #1 since Jan 2012
BFP #1 07/27/12 - EDD 04/07/13; C/P on 07/31/12
BFP #2 10/11/12 - EDD 06/24/13; Blighted Ovum; D&C 11/30/12
BFP #3 03/10/13 - EDD 11/21/13 - PLEASE BE OUR TAKE HOME BABY!
Beta #1 - 95.8 (12DPO); Beta #2 - 502 (15DPO); Beta #3 - 2003 (18DPO)
First U/S showed one beautiful baby measuring 7w1d with a HR of 148!!! Second U/S showed baby measuring 9w0d with a HR of 173!!!
My Ugly BFP Chart
“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
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12-07-2012 at 7:38 PM
wearebirds
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daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.


That sucks. I'm so sorry. Your friend should not have told you that! Men just don't think!

It does make me giggle though picturing you laying on the floor with the fridge wide open and wine just pouring into your mouth.

I always get the 'you're still young, there's plenty of time!' I hate that. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to have kids RIGHT NOW! 25 is not that young also, IMO.
Anniversary My Ovulation Chart Married: 10.01.2011 Me: 26 DH: 27 BFP: 11.10.12 C/P: 11.12.12 CD3 BW: Normal HSG: All Clear! SA: Perfect 
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12-07-2012 at 7:39 PM
VitaLuna
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The "when are you going to get pg" doesn't bother me as much any more, because I think people mean well and many don't know we're trying.

This week, a coworker got pg right after going off BC (super skinny girl). They know we're trying, and one of the people I work with said "skinny people always get pg fast". (I'm overweight, but not huge). Umm... WTF people. I already have issues with being self-conscious about my weight, and now you imply that I'm not pg because I'm not skinny? I almost went for the throat punch.

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12-07-2012 at 7:41 PM
penelopema...
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"You don't want a baby...trust me. They're exhausting."



TTC #1 since Feb 2013. Possible PCOS.
BFP #1: 04.18.13. EDD: 12.31.13!!!
 
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12-07-2012 at 7:42 PM
DLC516
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I've gotten "oh your time will come" and "do you really want one!? You have no idea how hard it is!"
I can't stand either of those comments! Especially the last one since I do have an 11 year old who is disabled and I had at 15. I'm not one to whine and play the poor me card but I seriously look at the people that say these things to me and say really? Did you think about what just came out of your mouth before you said it!? And I get it a lot! It annoys DH too and he never gets annoyed with things like that!
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12-07-2012 at 7:42 PM
katehutsen
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VitaLuna:
The "when are you going to get pg" doesn't bother me as much any more, because I think people mean well and many don't know we're trying.
This week, a coworker got pg right after going off BC super skinny girl. They know we're trying, and one of the people I work with said "skinny people always get pg fast". I'm overweight, but not huge. Umm... WTF people. I already have issues with being selfconscious about my weight, and now you imply that I'm not pg because I'm not skinny? I almost went for the throat punch.


Wow that's really not cool!! I would have drop kicked someone!!
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12-07-2012 at 7:45 PM
wearebirds
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penelopemaria:
"You don't want a baby...trust me. They're exhausting."


Oh yeah! My friend...who is currently pregnant with her second always says 'you're crazy for wanting this...I'm so sick and tired all the time. Are you sure you want all this!?' Uhmmm yes. Yes I do. Why should your exhaustion keep me from it? I would gladly be up in the middle of the night with a baby and throwing up because of my pregnancy...yes, gladly.
Anniversary My Ovulation Chart Married: 10.01.2011 Me: 26 DH: 27 BFP: 11.10.12 C/P: 11.12.12 CD3 BW: Normal HSG: All Clear! SA: Perfect 
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12-07-2012 at 7:46 PM
daynakako
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lobosabby:

daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.


I said an extra prayer for you tonight at church. I know God is going to bless you soon.



Thanks love. I think about you often too. We will make it through!

BFP #1- 10/21/2011, EDD- 07/02/2012, m/c- 10/27/2011 @ 4w3d
BFP #2- 12/23/2011, EDD- 09/04/2012, m/c- 01/02/2012@5w
BFP #3- 8/29/2012, EDD-05/12/2012
BETA #1-16 (8/30/12) BETA #2-486 (9/6/12)
9/27- First u/s, baby measuring 2 weeks behind with a heart rate half of what it should be. u/s # 2- 10/8/12- No heartbeat, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Heartbroken.
BFP #4- 12/30/2012, EDD- 09/11/2013
BETA #1-21 (12/31/12) BETA #2- 105 (1/03/13) BETA #3- 1,389 (1/08/13)
1st ultrasound-baby measuring 5w4d, heartbeat 107!
2nd ultrasound- baby measuring right on track, heartbeat 180!
 
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12-07-2012 at 7:49 PM
lobosabby
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daynakako:
lobosabby:

daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

I said an extra prayer for you tonight at church. I know God is going to bless you soon.

Thanks love. I think about you often too. We will make it through!

<3 and a true blessing it will be!

lots of <3 to my TBBFF Sothernpeach80 - BABY ETHAN IS HERE! 02.04.13 <3
TTC #1 since Jan 2012
BFP #1 07/27/12 - EDD 04/07/13; C/P on 07/31/12
BFP #2 10/11/12 - EDD 06/24/13; Blighted Ovum; D&C 11/30/12
BFP #3 03/10/13 - EDD 11/21/13 - PLEASE BE OUR TAKE HOME BABY!
Beta #1 - 95.8 (12DPO); Beta #2 - 502 (15DPO); Beta #3 - 2003 (18DPO)
First U/S showed one beautiful baby measuring 7w1d with a HR of 148!!! Second U/S showed baby measuring 9w0d with a HR of 173!!!
My Ugly BFP Chart
“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
My blog
TEAM BLUE!!!! Baby Boy is on the way!!!
BabyFruit Ticker
June Siggy Challenge - Veuve Clicquot
 
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12-07-2012 at 8:10 PM
trebeksuck...
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The comment I get the most, the comment I absolutely loathe is, "If you relax, it will happen!".  Oh, if only it was so simple!  Why didn't I think of that??  Here I am, wasting thousands of dollars in IUI's and medications and medical appointments when if only I would relax, it would happen! 

The other comments I hate are about TTC and my dogs.  I have two cocker spaniels and they are members of my family... I love them in ways I cannot put in to words.  People like to tell me when I have a baby I will want to get rid of my dogs (and cat), that once I have a baby the pets won't matter anymore.  I suppose I won't really know until it happens, but I am 99.999% sure my pets will always be members of my family, regardless of baby status.  

 
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12-07-2012 at 8:15 PM
wearebirds
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trebeksucks:
The comment I get the most, the comment I absolutely loathe is, "If you relax, it will happen!".nbsp; Oh, if only it was so simple!nbsp; Why didn't I think of that??nbsp; Here I am, wasting thousands of dollars in IUI's and medications and medical appointments when if only I would relax, it would happen!nbsp; The other comments I hate are about TTC and my dogs.nbsp; I have two cocker spaniels and they are members of my family... I love them in ways I cannot put in to words.nbsp; People like to tell me when I have a baby I will want to get rid of my dogs and cat, that once I have a baby the pets won't matter anymore.nbsp; I suppose I won't really know until it happens, but I am 99.999 sure my pets will always be members of my family, regardless of baby status. nbsp;


WTF??? Who says that?! Because people don't ever have both a baby and pets....
Anniversary My Ovulation Chart Married: 10.01.2011 Me: 26 DH: 27 BFP: 11.10.12 C/P: 11.12.12 CD3 BW: Normal HSG: All Clear! SA: Perfect 
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12-07-2012 at 8:22 PM
reenielynn
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Coworker always says something along the line of "DH Jr. coming soon!" I give teasing responses back about how he needs to pay for the babysitter if thats the case, or "yup, next month don't I look good for 8mo along?"

One day he said "well aren't you trying?" (side note: his first language is not English) I looked right at him and replied "Are you asking if I had sex today?" Lets just say that topic was closed for the day

Me=26,DH=34,TTC #1 since October 2012, BFP 4/16/13 BabyFruit Ticker
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12-07-2012 at 8:26 PM
katehutsen
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reenielynn:
Coworker always says something along the line of "DH Jr. coming soon!" I give teasing responses back about how he needs to pay for the babysitter if thats the case, or "yup, next month don't I look good for 8mo along?"One day he said "well aren't you trying?" side note: his first language is not English I looked right at him and replied "Are you asking if I had sex today?" Lets just say that topic was closed for the day


That was a perfect response!!
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12-07-2012 at 8:26 PM
Rocks526
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trebeksucks:

The comment I get the most, the comment I absolutely loathe is, "If you relax, it will happen!".  Oh, if only it was so simple!  Why didn't I think of that??  Here I am, wasting thousands of dollars in IUI's and medications and medical appointments when if only I would relax, it would happen! 

The other comments I hate are about TTC and my dogs.  I have two cocker spaniels and they are members of my family... I love them in ways I cannot put in to words.  People like to tell me when I have a baby I will want to get rid of my dogs (and cat), that once I have a baby the pets won't matter anymore.  I suppose I won't really know until it happens, but I am 99.999% sure my pets will always be members of my family, regardless of baby status.  

I don't understand people.  I have 2 cats and a dog and I would never get rid of them. My pets will always be a part of my family. People need to think before they speak.

 
 
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12-07-2012 at 8:32 PM
reenielynn
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katehutsen:
reenielynn:
Coworker always says something along the line of "DH Jr. coming soon!" I give teasing responses back about how he needs to pay for the babysitter if thats the case, or "yup, next month don't I look good for 8mo along?"One day he said "well aren't you trying?" side note: his first language is not English I looked right at him and replied "Are you asking if I had sex today?" Lets just say that topic was closed for the day
That was a perfect response!!

why thank you :-)

we laugh about it, but he used to drive me crazy, and some days still does

Me=26,DH=34,TTC #1 since October 2012, BFP 4/16/13 BabyFruit Ticker
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12-07-2012 at 8:40 PM
lorirachel
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A colleague looked at me, then down at my stomach and said any news to share!? I said no, and please don't ask me again.

She was bewildered-she asked why not? I said because when I am ready to tell, I will tell. It could be too early.

She said ok. I said clearly there are issues and she replied-no there are not, you are too young for issues. WTF!? 

I don't care if I was rude. I had just gotten my period a few hours early and some people have no tact. She also asked the receptionist in our office if she was pregnant last week because she was wearing baggy clothes. not okay, not okay at all. 
TTC #1 since April 2012 Feb 2013-50mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (1 follicle) March 2013-break due to travelling April 2013-100mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (2 follicles) May 2013-100mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (4 follicles) June 2013-5mg Femara+Trigger+TI=? Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
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12-07-2012 at 8:41 PM
lorirachel
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katehutsen:
DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!

ugh. we get that too...and don't care! when you are ready, age does NOT matter and infertility does NOT discriminate!  
TTC #1 since April 2012 Feb 2013-50mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (1 follicle) March 2013-break due to travelling April 2013-100mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (2 follicles) May 2013-100mg clomid+Trigger+TI=BFN (4 follicles) June 2013-5mg Femara+Trigger+TI=? Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
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12-07-2012 at 9:19 PM
tinydove
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lorirachel:

A colleague looked at me, then down at my stomach and said any news to share!? I said no, and please don't ask me again.

She was bewildered-she asked why not? I said because when I am ready to tell, I will tell. It could be too early.

She said ok. I said clearly there are issues and she replied-no there are not, you are too young for issues. WTF!? 

I don't care if I was rude. I had just gotten my period a few hours early and some people have no tact. She also asked the receptionist in our office if she was pregnant last week because she was wearing baggy clothes. not okay, not okay at all. 

That is so rude. Wow. I don't get what motivates people to be so intrusive... And no one is really "too young for issues." She said that pretty matter-of-factly. I thought I wouldn't have issues being "only" 24, but age really doesn't matter.

My MIL once asked me if I had "gained weight". Truth be told, I probably had. TTC can be stressful. But I was wearing a completely new outfit and left the house feeling cute that day-- needless to say that killed it. She later confessed that she was trying to figure out if we were having a baby.


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Stopped BC and Started TTC in February 2012
Long, Anovulatory Cycles. Dx PCOS Nov 2012, Started Metformin 11/3
Also Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism since childhood

Medicated Cycle #1 - Femara 5mg = No Response

Medicated Cycle #2 - Femara 7.5mg = TBD
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12-07-2012 at 9:19 PM
amricangrl...
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A lady I work with, who I avoid at all costs, came up and asked me "so when are you going to start popping some kids out?" I was so shocked that I couldn't even come up with a witty response.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Married Since March 2011 TTC since July 2011 Medical issues finally sorted out May 2012  
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12-07-2012 at 9:32 PM
eyris
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I got the classic "don't worry about it and it will just happen" from my dad the other night.  He knows we had a m/c in September and apparently thinks I am so stressed about the process that I'm causing myself to not ovulate.

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12-07-2012 at 9:38 PM
eyris
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trebeksucks:

The comment I get the most, the comment I absolutely loathe is, "If you relax, it will happen!".  Oh, if only it was so simple!  Why didn't I think of that??  Here I am, wasting thousands of dollars in IUI's and medications and medical appointments when if only I would relax, it would happen! 

The other comments I hate are about TTC and my dogs.  I have two cocker spaniels and they are members of my family... I love them in ways I cannot put in to words.  People like to tell me when I have a baby I will want to get rid of my dogs (and cat), that once I have a baby the pets won't matter anymore.  I suppose I won't really know until it happens, but I am 99.999% sure my pets will always be members of my family, regardless of baby status.  

I had a friend who got rid of her cats after her second child and she told me the same thing, "Once you have a baby you will hate the cats!"  

I freaking love cats (duh, see my sig.) and they are members of my family too.  I think my husband would get rid of me before I'd pry the cats out of his hands, too!  

The comment made me sad and I totally understand. 

My current "babies" - Harry, Ollie & Baxter
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12-07-2012 at 10:03 PM
muzikgrrl
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lorirachel:

A colleague looked at me, then down at my stomach and said any news to share!? I said no, and please don't ask me again.

This but instead of colleague change that to 3 different family members of my husbands... while at his sisters wedding... Ugh...

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12-07-2012 at 10:12 PM
Jellyfish4...
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I had a friend and her mom tell me to lose weight by starving myself. At the time, I was smaller than I am currently, and no where near a large girl. (Still not.) Her logic was that if I starve myself and shock my body, it'll start spitting eggs like crazy. Her daughter got pregnant everytime she opened her legs, and both of her babies were "happy accidents," which told me neither knew anything about what actually got you pregnant. Yeesh.

Then there's the "relax and it'll just happen," people. They infuriate me. I had one girl ask me, "don't you know you have to have sex to get KU?" WTF?!!

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12-07-2012 at 10:16 PM
Cindal
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muzikgrrl:

A colleague looked at me, then down at my stomach and said any news to share!? I said no, and please don't ask me again.

Yeah I've gotten this one too! It was horrible and uncomfortable especially since no one even knows we're ttc. It definitely put a damper on my day.
TTC since March of 2012
Me: 26 Dh: 34 Testing Begins 3/5/13
SA #1 3/15/13=super low count, low motility and low morphology
7dpo & cd3 bloodwork= Normal
Dh dx'd with diabetes
Waiting to repeat SA

 
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12-07-2012 at 10:57 PM
mishkaroni
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I've been told:

1) there's a reason God hasn't granted you a child yet (uhm, it's ONLY been 3 months.)

2) you're doing it wrong. Stop with all that stuff you're doing and just have sex 10-15 times a day - that's how I got pregnant

3) relax, you're stressing yourself out

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