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12-08-2012 at 7:24 AM
stove-stam...
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Thoughts on "Meet the baby" party

Background:  I have a son who is 4 yrs and will be 5 yrs in June, and now I'm having a girl.   

I have a neighbor who offered and is very excited to throw me a baby shower.  I felt extremely uncomfortable with that idea.  So after sometime thinking about this, I offered a suggestion about a meet the baby party and she loved the idea.  I was thinking about having it in April/May (due in Feb) outside at my neighbor's house and just having apps. finger food, beer/wine non alcoholic beverages etc.

My question is this:  I was toying with the idea of say gifts optional.

What do ya think? 

 


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12-08-2012 at 7:31 AM
mrsmcdonal...
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I think it sounds like you want gifts.

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12-08-2012 at 7:35 AM
cole2144
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Why would you mention gifts at all? People will bring them if they want but putting it on the invite will make some feel they need to bring one even if you say it is optional. Don`t mention it.

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12-08-2012 at 7:37 AM
stove-stam...
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Either way is fine with me, but yes I will answer what most women on this board will not directly say  Of course I would want gifts who would not want them (and you lying if you say you don't) 

Bottom line my neighbor is excited to do this, if I had if my way I would not do anything.  Not a shower or a meet the baby party, but since I'm in a way do this for her then yes  gifts would be nice to help me out.  

My motto is come if you want to don't if you don't

Bring a gift if the mood inspires you, don't if you don't feel like it.  


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12-08-2012 at 7:38 AM
stove-stam...
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cole2144:
Why would you mention gifts at all? People will bring them if they want but putting it on the invite will make some feel they need to bring one even if you say it is optional. Don`t mention it.

 

Good point 


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12-08-2012 at 7:39 AM
PeanutR1
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Just don't mention gifts at all. It's tacky. Most people will bring them anyway
 
12-08-2012 at 8:36 AM
Liz4444
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People will bring gifts if they want, you don't have to inform them that it's an option.

Why does everyone assume their friends and family are stupid?

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12-08-2012 at 8:56 AM
KateMW
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I would leave any mention of gifts off. Also, I was always under the impression that the parents did a MTB party, that it wasn't a hosted event.

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12-08-2012 at 10:45 AM
rhubarb123
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We hosted our own "Meet the baby parties" after #2 and #3.  Foruntately they were both born in the spring and we were able to just add it to our annual BBQ.  I didn't mention anything about gifts at all...but got a lot - mostly diapers, wipes, outfits and a couple of other things.  We have about 60 people at our BBQ's and I would say 1/2 of them brought gifts...so maybe 20 or so gifts.  I just put them off to the side (actually in the livingroom where they wouldn't be so noticable) and opened them after everyone left (except those few who stay the night because they travel so far).  It worked out well for both parties. 

I have not hosted someone's "Meet the baby party" except my own...but have hosted two baby showers after the babies were born (but they were firstborns).  I don't see an issue with someone else hosting...or at least helping.  My mom helped at mine (although she was not the hostess)...but she helps with our annual BBQ party every year.

 
12-08-2012 at 11:26 AM
MagPie 198...
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Liz4444:
People will bring gifts if they want, you don't have to inform them that it's an option. Why does everyone assume their friends and family are stupid?

I don't think she's assuming her friends and family are stupid.  I read this post as "I don't want people to feel like they have to bring gifts so I'll let them know they don't need to." However, in doing that it's going to make those that wouldn't bring a gift feel like they have to.   If she just wanted gifts, she would have a shower. 

 
12-08-2012 at 12:11 PM
RiverSong8...
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stove-stamp:

Either way is fine with me, but yes I will answer what most women on this board will not directly say  Of course I would want gifts who would not want them (and you lying if you say you don't) 

Bottom line my neighbor is excited to do this, if I had if my way I would not do anything.  Not a shower or a meet the baby party, but since I'm in a way do this for her then yes  gifts would be nice to help me out.  

My motto is come if you want to don't if you don't

Bring a gift if the mood inspires you, don't if you don't feel like it.  

The bolded statements are really contradictory in my opinion. You're saying that if it were up to you, you wouldn't have anything where people might bring you gifts, but right before that you're saying that oh of course you want gifts?

Also, I don't get the logic of "since someone is throwing me a party it'd be nice for the guests to bring me presents to help me out." Because it's difficult for you to have someone else to throw you a party?

I will close by saying that I usually bring gifts to such occasions because I was taught to bring something when someone has a baby/buys a new house/etc.


 
12-08-2012 at 9:03 PM
stove-stam...
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For the ladies who gave me good insightful answers, thank you and I am going with not mentioning of bring gifts.     

For the ladies who have nothing better to do then judge others, I leave by saying that I am not wanting to have a party period, but gifts are welcomed whether I have a party or not, bought or a hammy down.  My neighbor is so wanting to throw me a shower, but it is I who thinks that is not appropriate.  I mention to her that I did not feel comfortable with a shower hence I already have a son.  She stills wants to throw me a party so I suggested a meet the baby party (that is why she is throwing it not me).  I am still not comfortable with the idea, but I thought that people would rather come to see a baby not me pregnant again.

Good luck to all the ladies on here :)

 


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12-08-2012 at 10:20 PM
Krisands
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Don't mention gifts. A gift is always optional don't say anything!
 
12-09-2012 at 3:56 AM
rhubarb123
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Krisands:
Don't mention gifts. A gift is always optional don't say anything!

I agree that for a "meet the baby" party this is correct, but they are not optional for a shower.  That is what a shower is - a "gift giving event".  If someone doesn't want to bring a gift to a shower - they shouldn't attend a shower.

 
12-09-2012 at 4:57 PM
jeffsjayme
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I had a meet the baby party - that my sister hosted.  Awesome and I'll definitely do it for every baby.  But I was really serious about it being a "Meet the Baby" party, not a "Give me a gift" party.  So I had it pretty soon after his birth, so that people could meet him -- it seemed dumb (to me) to have it a couple of months after he was born...by the time the party happened, most people would've already met him!

To keep it casual, we did facebook and email invites for most people.  It was literally a "come anytime between 12:00 and 3:00 to meet him, grab a hot dog, nachos or cracker jacks and meet our son" (we did a baseball theme).  For grandparents and such that might want something a little more formal, I did make an invitation, got it cheaply printed on a postcard but with no dates or time.  Then when he was born, I used a Sharpie to write in the date and time.

I did (which many would disagree with) write on there "Please no gifts"...which in most cases kind of implies that they should bring gifts.  But, for me, this was the first of this kind of party in the family and I really wanted to make sure that it was clear that this was very casual, please no gifts, come only if you can kind of event. 

ETA: I didn't get many gifts at all.  I did get some cards, but not major gifts.  And we probably had 60 people or so file in and out of there.  I was a FTM who didn't even have a shower, so the few gifts that I did get were from aunts who would've gotten me a gift anyway.  I did get a couple of children books, but really, most people didn't get us anything and if they did, it was a card.  Which was exactly what I wanted. 


 
12-10-2012 at 11:20 AM
ggatlanta
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+1 for "gifts are always optional, don't mention them on your invitation"


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